What is the most annoying thing that your relatives do that give you unreasonable rage?

[FiveFarthings]

Following on from another thread of what your partner does that gives you unreasonable rage, what do your relatives do that make you grind your teeth/ want to punch yourself/them/ make you see red?

My in-laws are the loveliest people ever but my god they are incapable of saying good bye and actually leaving! It drives me up the wall! We will attempt to leave their house and they will then remember 100 million things they forget to tell us in three hours we have been there and that they must tell us before we leave. I have learnt now to start making noises about leaving 45 minutes before we actually have to leave, otherwise we can never get out the door!

In my family we just say, ‘Right we’re off, love you bye’ and walk out so my in-laws faffing drives me mad! We see the in-laws every couple of days so it’s not because we hardly see them and they are trying to make the most of it!

What do your relatives do that give you unreasonable rage?

My dp lost his job in the 2008 crash. These days his work involves working from home. He's done this for 7 or 8 years.

EVERY time I see my aunt, she asks me if he has a job yet. She can't seem to get her head round the fact that's he's working from home, not just sitting around twiddling his thumbs.

dh say bye to his mum about 15 times at the end of a phone call, his voice drops lower and lower, but she will always find something else to talk about. she calls every day.

My DM says goodbye on the phone about 5 times! Just once Mother will suffice! 😃

Some of these are funny!

DH has an infuriating tendency to repeat just one word when I've spoken to him, eg

"I'm thinking about a takeaway tonight DH"
"Takeaway?"

"Did DD tell you she's booked a trip to Devon"
"Devon?"

Also why do some people suddenly reach an age when they suddenly can't possibly do more than one thing a day!?

MIL has raised children, run a business, is still active and healthy (late 70s). I'll ring and tell her I'm popping over for a cuppa, say 10am .... "Ooohh no dear, can we make it another day as FIL has a doctor appointment at 3.30".

Everyone in the house, DH and kids, expecting me to know where some random item is - and getting annoyed when I don't and don't jump up looking for it immediately.

DH and even FIL wanting everyone out our kichen - which is large kichen diner- out when they are having breakfast or with DH cooking a meal - it's fine though annoying except when we need to get kids fed and out of door for school.

My sister and I ring each other about once a week. From the first "hello" to the last "goodbye" she speaks without pause about herself - every thought which has entered her head for the last week has to be spoken about, in minute detail, for about 2 hours minimum. I could be on death's door - leaving DH - won the lottery

Sounds like both a friend of mine and my aunt. I once was speaking to aunt on the phone and there was a hornet in the kitchen. I really do not like them! I kept saying I would have to go now to deal with the hornet and she kept on and on!

Luckily when my friend goes on and on about herself, I can leave the room to go loo, turn oven on, prepare meal, come back and it is all still about herself- with no break for air!

DH is completely incapable of closing the wardrobe doors, then looks at his jumpers in amazement when he finds them full of moth holes.

BiL cannot eat quietly. Every chewing motion involves loud 'Mmm, mmm' noises.

Mil tends to say oh no he/they didn't when I tell her something that's happened. I'll say oh yeah he did and explain she'll say no no it's fine (as in no it's fine, they didn't do that). I'll say no, He really did. She shakes her head and waves her hand as if waving it away. It's in a friendly way just so random can be about anything and small. Just like no it didn't to something random I've said happened. always confuses me then I have to explain why it did happen or get said and still shakes her head that it didn't. It's in a nice way which always makes me more confused.

@ShirleyPhallus my OH does that too and it drives me nuts!

"Do you want to pass me the mango chutney?" Actually I'd like to throw it at the wall right now...

Also my brother still talks in a baby voice to our parents. He is a DOCTOR for crying out loud.

Ah this is giving me the rage now

DP gets really annoyed if I start liking something he has recommended to me. It's bizarre! For example, he got me into a certain singer. I decided to dress up as her for a fancy dress party, and he went (good-naturedly!) mad, saying I'd only started liking her because he recommended her... Surely that was the point?? Weirdo!

Dh has an inability to see toys when the children were younger. I would come downstairs after putting them to bed and half of Toys R Us would be over the living room. He would step over them to get to the sofa. It took 2 minutes to Chuck them in the toy box. Boiled my piss constantly.

My mother seems to think I should ring the family on a weekly basis.

‘How’s your week been?’
‘Good thanks, really busy. I’ve done 60 hours at work and have done x,y and z too’
‘Have you called auntie Jane?’
‘No mum I haven’t, why would I?’
‘Well she always asks after you and I thinks it’s rude you don’t give her a weekly phone call’

I’ve started telling her that they all have my number and if they want to speak to me they can call me.

She also hates that I speak to my brothers and she isn’t the one that organises it and knows what our conversations are about. I get 20 questions about how was he? What’s he doing? What did he say about his children. Mum speaks to them a few times a week and hosts a Sunday lunch every week for them. I don’t know what she thinks we are talking about!

Oh and my dad has awful table manners. He starts before everyone, just gets up and leaves when he’s finished, doesn’t put his cutlery together and just leaves his plate on the table when he has to walk past the sink on his way out of the kitchen.

When exH and me were first married, my MIL and SIL would come round and watch us eat our tea as though we were an exhibit at the zoo. They would actually stand in our tiny kitchen, staring as we ate. If it was something like noodles or spaghetti Mil would keep saying 'EUGH! Worms!' and tittering like a six year old. Sil just stared. I now know it was because they didn't like me and didn't think I could cook or look after their darling boy. When I didn't fry everything in lard or boil it to death for hours exH would whine that it wasn't like his mum's food. One of the (many) reasons he's now an ex is his batshit crazy family. I could go on.

My otherwise adorable FIL licks his knife and then plunges it into the butter.

😱

She continues to waste perfectly good oxygen 😤

Overbearing DBIL says to DH on the phone (always uses speakerphone) I'll let you go now, like DH is some inferior little captive he is magnanimously allowing to continue with his day

One of my relatives won't make decisions and faffs. They need a lift somewhere but won't say what time and instead say "whenever is convenient / whenever you're going that way". It drives me insane. I wouldn't be going that way and I'm free all day but would like to know so I can do my chores and small jobs. Just tell me what time your train is.

Another relative gets arsey over non-issues e.g. getting passive aggressive for saying I can't hear them in a bad signal area by being arsey saying "well I may well just go because you're not listening to a word I say" or I'll point out they need to use a specific setting on the washing machine (because the other similar one can be funny) and they'll sigh and say "ok.. I clearly can't do anything right". One day I think I should let them use whatever setting they like.

Husband puts his clothes on my rack or pops them on the floor when he has three racks full of clothes. Doesn’t rinse dishes and I always have to re-wash them before I use them because there are still crusted on remnants of whatever he has cooked and he doesn’t clean out the food trap.

My FIL doesn’t flush the toilet or put the seat down and worse there is always urine around the toilet on the floor. I don’t want to enter a urine-smelling bathroom in the middle of the night and watch where I have to step in my own loo. I have to do that when we’re staying at their home and don’t want to have to do it in mine, especially with the floors we have. It’s disgusting.

DH has an infuriating tendency to repeat just one word when I've spoken to him

my DH does a one-word thing and it drives me crazy - but it's this. He'll ask a question like "what time is the next bus into town?" and if I don't hear it for some reason and say "what?" he'll reply with "bus." no context nothing.

And he leaves drawers and cupboards open. I constantly trip over them or bash my head on them. And then gets huffy when i complain.

No. Jury. Will. Convict. Me.

MIL thinks everyone is telepathic. If something happens or she is told something, she’ll assume everyone knows it. Thus, when she rings, she’ll say “We managed to get it done”.

And that’s it.

No explanation of whom “we” may be or what it is that’s been done.

I took to saying “Oh that’s good” and changing the subject. She started repeating “We managed to get it done”, sometimes even saying it a third time, which made me think she knew what she was doing and wanted me to ask her for for the news she wanted to tell me.

Nope.

DH does the answering the phone thing and then doesn’t speak. I hang up. Can’t be doing with that. I’m not going to “Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?” when etiquette dictates he should say something if he’s bothered to answer the phone.

FIL is a racist bastard.

@CandyLeBonBon - Gransplaining!
My parents both do that- especially with anything to do with the DC. She will frequently call me specifically to check I've done something fairly basic eg. making sure the DC have a winter coat when the weather gets colder, packing suncream when going on holiday somewhere hot. Despite the fact that I have no history for forgetting such things.

My MIL on the other hand likes to get opinions from DH and I before making any decision (however minor). But if we don't give her the opinion she was hoping for she gets upset and defensive. (eg. why do you like those curtains better, I thought they were nice and would go with my decor, are you saying you've always hated my living room?). If we tell her it's her decision and whatever she chooses will be lovely she says we are not interested in her.

MIL complaining about coffee being too milky/too hot/too watery/too coffee-eque etc etc. On holiday. Every single day. Meh

My mother is living with us atm. I wouldn't even like to get started.

My DH tends to go into lecture mode when he is talking about something he is interested in (usually political) and has had a bit too much wine. My MIL facilitates this every time we see her. And she's a Daily Mail reader so has polar opposite views to DH on practically everything. She asks a leading question and he ALWAYS bites. The rest of us are sitting there chugging wine and trying not to commit hari kiri while they go on and on and on. I would love an all-inclusive but shallow convo about the weather, Strictly, anything really...

"dh say bye to his mum about 15 times at the end of a phone call, his voice drops lower and lower, but she will always find something else to talk about. she calls every day."

OMG, I thought this was just my dh and his Mum!