What is the most annoying thing that your relatives do that give you unreasonable rage?

[FiveFarthings]

Following on from another thread of what your partner does that gives you unreasonable rage, what do your relatives do that make you grind your teeth/ want to punch yourself/them/ make you see red?

My in-laws are the loveliest people ever but my god they are incapable of saying good bye and actually leaving! It drives me up the wall! We will attempt to leave their house and they will then remember 100 million things they forget to tell us in three hours we have been there and that they must tell us before we leave. I have learnt now to start making noises about leaving 45 minutes before we actually have to leave, otherwise we can never get out the door!

In my family we just say, ‘Right we’re off, love you bye’ and walk out so my in-laws faffing drives me mad! We see the in-laws every couple of days so it’s not because we hardly see them and they are trying to make the most of it!

What do your relatives do that give you unreasonable rage?

[RubyRubyRubyRubyAaaaah]

If I tell my sister something, an hour later she will tell me about it.
Me- Did you see that documentary about the remote tribe in the Amazon, who have little interaction with the world and hunt in the jungle? It was fascinating.
Sister one hour later- did you know there are tribes in the Amazon, apparently they hunt all their food in the jungle and don’t really speak to the outside world or something like that, there was a documentary or something about them I think...

[Pinkiii]

My cousin is the MOST indecisive person I have ever met. She cannot make a decision and stick to it, she will change her mind about everything at least 10 times! Most of the time we laugh at it but when it comes to some stuff it does get very annoying!

We always say she will prob end up changing her mind about her husband walking down the aisle

[FLOrenze]

My mother used to leave any birthday or Christmas present bought by me in the living room for months and months. Her passive aggressive way of letting me know what she thought of the gift.

My DH is the worst. He is incapable of closing a cupboard or a drawer. When he does anything he just walks away from the open cupboard. When he is cooking every single cupboard is open. And also the under stairs cupboard where we keep pots and pans. Not in his own room though, here everything is spick and span and hidden behind closed doors or drawers,

[Crustytoenail]

DM - insists on doing her housework 5 minutes before you're due to leave for anything.
"Oh I'll just hang the washing out/empty the bins/wash the windows/change the beds before we go........ Oh now we're late, I told you to be ready!"
DB can never answer a straight question -
"Are you coming for dinner tonight?"
"Probably"
"Yes or no I need to get food in"
"Might do"
"I need to know if you want to get fed......"
"Maybe"
Wouldn't be the first time he's had beans on toast because he's turned up and I've not catered for him!

[sueelleker]

OP, my husband's auntie is like that. You say your leaving - she tells you one more thing. Then you stand up to say you are leaving - must tell you about this random person you have never met. Then it's hugs time - oh, before I forget. Then we're in the hallway - did you know... Then hand on the door - could you do me a favour. Then out the door - come look at this. You get the point but it has taken up to an hour from saying I'll leave to driving away. I would say getting to my car but she talks to me through the window.
My Mum had a friend like that; you had to back away down the garden path while she was still talking.

[ShirleyPhallus]

My brother will always ask me “do you want to do ”. So when he says “do you want to take the bins out?” I’ll just say “no I don’t.....” until he says “please could you take the bins out?” To which I will dutifully and with a smile take the bins out

He does it with EVERYTHING
“Do you want to pass me that plate?”
“Do you want to make some tea?”
“Do you want to change DN’s nappy?”

No I really don’t!

[lavenderbluedilly]

When DM rings our house, if I don’t answer the landline she’ll immediately try my mobile phone. So usually this means I’ve ran downstairs just to miss picking up, by which time my mobile will be ringing upstairs!

PIL and both of my SIL very clearly favour their daughters over their sons

Nobody in my family (apart from DC) understands that when I’m on night shift, I need to actually sleep during the day. I do at least 2-3 nights a week, and everyone is astonished that I am “still in bed” at lunchtime, only having had 3 hours sleep.......

[Skittlesandbeer]

My mother always calls about upcoming birthdays, and offers to have the family round for a cup of tea/cupcake. Lovely, right? Except unless you instantly agree (weeks out) on the day/time/menu/guestlist, she starts haranguing you with cross texts and crosser calls. Like, twice a day, every day.

We are event managers by trade, and I’ve organised entire orchestra music tours with less stress and faff than one of DM’s birthday teas. By the time the day comes, you’ve lost the will to live (let alone celebrate anything). And she gets herself into such a state she often needs a ‘time out’ and a quiet word during the tea.

My brother brings a hip flask.

[Wonderland18]

MIL drops by without checking we are in or up for a visit, annoying.
Her DP messages me on Facebook regularly, just strange trying to make conversation chat that I have no interest in.
Brother refuses to wake up for anything and it takes me 3 phone calls to get him out of bed.
Mum stays directly beside her shop but calls me to come go to the shop for her as she’s not feeling well.. but will have just taken her dog out also answers any text with “I’m vvvv unwell” regardless of subject.
Stepson (12) chews with his mouth open.. loudly.
So much annoying quirks 😂😂

[lavenderbluedilly]

DH is very wasteful of food. For example if there are 3 of us for dinner, and we have a packet of 6 chicken Kievs, he will cook all 6 and we end up throwing 3 away, rather than getting 2 dinners out of it. Same goes for large bags of chicken goujons or potato wedges - he simply can’t use a portion and pop the rest back in the freezer...... it all has to be cooked then the leftovers discarded. I’ve taken over our meal planning and cooking as a result!

[CandyLeBonBon]

My mum moved away when I was 18 and I have lived independently ever since. I'm now 50. I also have three children, run a business and attend university. I am also a single parent and have been so for nearly a decade. I have no relatives close by and am used to being at life's coalface alone on daily basis. In spite of all of this, she will insist on saying 'ooh don't forget to put the bins out candy' or ' do you think it's time to do xyz' or 'ooh you haven't forgotten to do so and so have you?' Or recently when I was fixing my dishwasher 'ooh be careful. Remember to unplug it won't you. You don't want a shock'.

And when I'm driving it's the same. 'Ooh you'd better slow down it's a 30 zone' etc.

I FUCKING KNOW! I'M A FULLY FUNCTIONING ADULT.

It's not mansplaining. It's Gransplaining.

Drives me nuts.

Otherwise she's lovely

[Disfordarkchocolate]

It's taken 10 years to train my husband not to faff when we leave his parents. I tell him we need to be 'making a move' loud enough for his parents to hear, 3 minutes later I get up and head for the door hugging anyone on the way who has also stood up. Then I put my shoes on and leave, smiling and waving as I go. Half an hour saved every time.

[DingDongDenny]

My MIL is the most depressing women on the earth. All conversations lead back to death, dying and illness. For example
MIL: How is your cat
ME: Great thanks blah blah
MIL: I remember when MILCat died, it was so sad, his last moments blah blah
I can only manage 2 days maximum she's like a dementor

[GrimalkinsCrone]

Being late every time, and being in denial of the fact that they are always late. They rarely phone to say they’ll be later than planned.
It used to annoy me, but now I just plan around it and keep going. One time, we’d finished dinner before they showed up. I’ll wait 20 mins or so, but that’s it.

[problembottom]

DP’s Mum and her texts which come anytime or day or night, like:

Did you see your DSis cut her finger? She mentioned it on the family what’s app group. She would appreciate a reply.

Your niece told me she would appreciate a Skype with the baby before she goes back to school.

Did you send DSis an invite to your party? I know she’s can’t come as she lives on the other side of the world but she would appreciate the chance to decline the invite.

Drives him bonkers.

[Strugglingtodomybest]

DH has a habit of always checking my answer.

E.g. DH says, would you like a cup of tea?
I say, yes please.
He says, yes?
And then stares at me expectantly until I repeat myself. Every bloody question.

18 years in and it drives me up the wall!

[Abracad]

My DM has delusions of grandeur. The other day we were talking about the Royal Family and my bro and I were saying we were anti. And one of the reasons was their overwhelming wealth in the face of such poverty. And she parlayed that into a rant about how her money was hers and she wasn’t redistributing her wealth. Except she lives in a pokey two up two down and has a few grand in the bank. It’s SO weird.

Also PILS are SO MESSY. I don’t bother tidying before they visit because I know by the end of the day there will be toys everywhere, kitchen cupboard doors open, chairs strewn across the room... And what’s weirder is they are tidy in their home. It’s just mine they trash.

[lw26]

My grandmother moans and complains about other members of the family whenever you visit over the silliest things. She doesn't seem to realise that the rest of the family speak and are close so we all know that she moans about everyone that goes there.

It's quite funny really. When she starts her whinging I just smile and think you were whinging about me last week to aunty sue over the same thing ha!

[PhilSwagielka]

@DingDongDenny I had a colleague like that. I used to call her Morrissey because she was so miserable.

My brother can get quite sneery at me about stuff I like or my hobbies, e.g. going to watch football matches as a neutral. He's also a moody bastard. In fairness, he does work a very stressful job.

My stepdad is a former teacher and he tends to go into classroom mode, especially when I ask him about political stuff (he used to teach history and politics). He's lovely and it can be quite endearing sometimes, but other times I want to go 'dude, we're not in class now'.

My mum always tidies my house whenever she's over. I've kind of accepted it, I don't ask her to do it but she just sort of automatically does it. It's just how she is. What really irritates me is when she puts stuff where I can't find it. Like the cable for my vibrator.

My stepbrother takes forever to get ready.

[dayslikethese1]

My DM and DSF's bins drive me nuts. I don't think they ever clean them and they're ridiculously big (the kitchen ones). So gross, you have to try and open it without touching the lid because it's caked in God knows what. Also they don't seem to understand how the food bin collection works; they just put all the food waste loose into the bigger food bin and leave it in their garden like they think the magic food bin fairy will clean and sort it instead of using the caddy and bagging it and then putting out every week.

My DF and DSM have raging rows and also their entire house is covered in piles of newspapers and random stuff. They have boxes they haven't unpacked since they moved in 15 years ago. It annoys me just looking at it so now I just try not to see it. And my DF refuses to use the internet or a mobile phone which makes a lot of things awkward and long-winded.

There's loads more, mostly light-hearted but cathartic to have a moan sometimes.

[PennyBlossom1]

My DP's entire family eat with their mouths open and slap and munch happily at every forkfull, drives me insane!

[merryhouse]

My MiL is lovely. She's a brilliant mother-in-law (learnt from bitter experience) and a fantastic grandma. I love her very much and will be actively sad when she dies.

But

For fuck's sake Margaret, if you don't like the celery leaves then take a different piece and leave them to someone who will eat them!

[Pinkiii]

I have another one, not a relative but a good friend of DM.

Anytime she wants to tell you about something she has done, she will give you the punchline first and then she will start from the Beginning of time! For example will want to say oh I broke a cup,

Story will start from the minute she woke up that morning, showered, ate breakfast, watched tv blah blah.. and then yeh the mug broke’

It wouldn’t be so bad if she didn’t do this for the same stories over and over, can’t bear listening to her

[DinosaurFineosaur]

I also have a sister who rabbits on about every minute detail of her life while not letting me get a word in edgeways.

My parents tend to stay with us for a week at a time 3-4 times a year and they drive me up the wall with the little things. (ok, there are also the big things like their Brexit views but the little things tend to be the ones that break me). I have a set of tea/coffee/sugar canisters in the kitchen. They are square wooden boxes and are lined up neatly in teh corner, against the wall. Every bloody time they make a cup of tea or coffee, I go back into the kitchen and find the canisters strewn about the place, one on one worktop, one on another etc. Why can't they just put them back???

Someone upthread mentioned their dad doing the startled surprise thing. My dad also does this every bloody time he sees me in the house. I'll come into a room where he is and he'll go "oh!" . It's my bloody house. I live here. Stop being surprised when you see me.

Almost every morning, my mum will watch me do my hair (I do it in the hall as there is a big mirror there) and ask, in a weirdly incredulous voice "are those...hair straighteners?" as if these are a mythical inventions that she has heard of but never seen before. Yes mother. Just like yesterday, these are hair straighteners.

My dad will go on and on about how he refuses to recycle because he isn't "doing a binman's job for free". he'll then make a big show of putting paper, cans etc into a normal bin because he doesn't recycle.

FiL constantly refers to women as "the ball and chain" and is constantly cracking jokes about women - think 1970s style comedians talking about the things they have to put up with from their wives. He'll keep repeating them too until we all laugh. If I say or do anything out of the ordinary, or if I get stroppy at his jokes, he'll go on and on about how it "must be a redhead thing" and tell DH how awful it it must be to have not only been saddled with a wife but a redheaded wife to boot. How tiresome.

[CucinaBreakfast]

Dm forgets to communicate her thoughts to me and assumes i know that she's made plans that include me. I've stopped being flexible to it these days, if she can't be bothered to actually talk to me about it, she has to rearrange!

Dpil don't speak during meals. At all. It's still awkward 13 years in, only for me though it seems.

Dh asks "are you sure?" when i respond that i want/ don't want something he's offered. I now just look at him, eyebrows up, because i can't bear to repeat myself. He also eats with his mouth open until i stop eating myself and he realises his eating has put me off my own dinner. I've clearly gone for the non verbal comms here but it's the only way anything gets through!

Df talks ad nauseam about his own interests (very niche and technical) expecting the world to be interested too. But if anyone raises something he's not interested in he'll completely switch off. It's so rude!