To think that it is up to me what I do when my child in swimming lesson.

[swimmingmum6]

My children have swimming lessons at a lovely local swim school. The groups are small. Teacher is with 3-4 children in pool, parents poolside but not involved in lesson. I enjoy watching but also chatting to the other parents and answering the odd email so that I don't have to do it when my children are in bed, or when I'm properly with them.

Just had this posted on Facebook page. AIBU to dislike the tone? I'm not glued to my phone, look up and encourage frequently but I am also a working mum who gets little space in the daytime and reserve the right to catch up with a couple of emails while my child is in the pool supervised and learning.

The post reads:
Recently I have noticed a sharp increase in the use of mobile phones and tablets on poolside during our lessons.

Understanding how busy our lives are parents can be, I would like to trial our poolsides as ‘Digital free’ zones.

I would like to give you all permission to step out of your hectic day whilst your child is swimming with us by turning your phone off or onto silent.

It is wonderful to see a child encouraged and supported by their parent/Carer poolside when they have achieved something new or master a skill they have been working on. These shared experiences will create memories of their precious early years.

I am hoping by giving you permission to delay writing that email or text will enable you to relax, focus on quality time with your child and create a closer ** (name of swimschool) Community!

If you have a sibling waiting for their lesson or their brother/sister why not encourage them to watch, pick up additional teaching points or bring a book or homework to do.

Should you have a pressing matter to attend to or need to make an urgent call, please may I ask you to step out of the pool to do this when swimming with us.

I would appreciate your thoughts on this idea, so please do respond to this post with a 👍🏼 or ❤️ or comment below.

With much love and many thanks,
(Name of swimschool teacher)

What do you think?

I think that’s it’s up to you how you spend your time when they are swimming. I swam competitively until late teens - my Dad always read the paper when I trained. If I was in a competition he watched properly but not just at a lesson. It was his down time!

I spent 5 years sat by a pool side each week between two dc. I wouldn't describe that time as "special time with dc" nor "a memory making moment." It's more a hot, uncomfortable half an hour followed by a mad rush to get changed/showered in an even hotter and clammy crowded changing room. Not my idea of "making memories. "

Swimming lessons are no different to my child learning to read/write or anything else at school. They are there to learn, not to have me cooing and fussing whilst they are in a lesson learning something.

That is patronising and would really make me want to get my phone or laptop out, if I hadn't been doing so previously. It is nothing to do with the swim school how I occupy myself whilst waiting for my child
However - like many others, I am very surprised people are allowed phones poolside due to safeguarding. We weren't allowed to take photos of our dc in or by the pool 17, 18 years ago, long before I had a camera on my phone.
The should state that if that is what they are 'getting at'. If not, then it is none of their business what parents are doing while they wait.

I’d take a book to make the point. Or go sit in the car.

"After reviewing and updating our health and safety and safeguards practices we have decided that the use of phones will be prohibited. Please have your phones on silent as it is distracting to the teachers and children".

Short,to the point,professional and a common enough practice that it wouldn't raise an eyebrow.

Even if the teacher's aim is for parents to kneel at the poolside, swaying kumbaya style and lovingly gaze into the eyes of all the precious little Michael Phelps , there are ways to express your views and get results without being a patronising twat.

Is there another way to write it that's not? I feel the teacher is probably angry on behalf of the children and the lack of interest from the parents. That certainly comes across in the email.
I'm surprised to hear you HAVE to be told to come off your phone.
If I were another parent I would be worried about safeguarding - a pictures taken of my daughter in her costume.

I find that message smug, stupid and condescending
who does she fucking think she is
I'd give her permission to shut the fuck up

I get the point about phones and cameras but I think it is ridiculous to expect the parents to sit and pay attention to the whole class. It's a class not a parent/child activity and I pay for my kids to do things like this so I don't have to do them! Thank god my kids are older now and activities are all drop off and the teachers/coaches don't want the parents watching! I would seriously consider switching swimming classes over this type of patronizing email!

Fuck that for a game of soldiers.
Unless it's a rule re safeguarding (no phones in our changing rooms, for example) in which case the twee wee message should say something else.

I do this...I answer work emails and deal with boring mundane admin which seem to be adding up at work!!

In all honesty swimming lessons for me are an absolute pain in the arse, essential but bloody time consuming, they take nearly 2 hours out of my day.

I could understand if it was for safe guarding issues but for that wanky crap she wrote I’d be telling her to sod off!! I could always stop sending them and teach them myself on the weekend...I’d happily point that out to her.

"After reviewing and updating our health and safety and safeguards practices we have decided that the use of phones will be prohibited. Please have your phones on silent as it is distracting to the teachers and children"
^ that would be SO SO much better :)

Awful, awful email written by someone who struggles to see beyond their own experience. As you say, getting things done in that time, whilst dipping in and out of watching your children allows more actual quality time. I'd add a comment about how people manage their quality time in different ways and they are teaching swimming not parenting.

I feel the teacher is probably angry on behalf of the children and the lack of interest from the parents.

So instead she thinks it her place to tell parents that they can answer emails when their at home and thus ignore their child?

The children are likely not upset they shouldn't even be concentrating on their parents they should instead be concentrating on the lesson.

I would suspect this is in answer to an issue.
They've gone for this line to stop the parent(s) in question kicking off.

Either they've got parents filming the lesson, or having loud conversations on the side or possibly one's dropped their phone in and blamed the school. Not necessarily during your lesson, but I'd bet it's been happening.
My ds did some 1-2-1 lessons a couple of years ago over the summer holiday. On the second lesson I noticed one of the parents was filming their dc's lesson. They were asked not to. The third lesson they were "just texting" when challenged. Except they weren't. I could see they were filming.

Incredibly patronising. I hate being spoken to like this. You are paying them to teach swimming, the rest is up to you.

Safeguarding is a separate matter. If that’s the issue, she should say.

I can see a point in banning mobile phone use during the swimming lessons, given that the swimming school can't police how they're used, and it just takes one idiot posting pics of the kids in bathing suits onto social media for quite unpleasant consequences to potentially ensue. However, the sanctimonious tone would put me right off: 'These shared experiences will create memories of their precious early years.' Ugh!

Ironically, whilst wanting to create an active close community with parents encouraging their child, I bet they dont want any dialogue with said parent when after the lesson they want to comment on the lesson!

(I am a swim teacher and 'active participating' parents were not encouraged by my boss as they took up too much of my teaching time!)

Having watched child drowning and flailing for 4 years- and having a slow progress through to less drowning but still flailing, I don't need to be involved and in the moment every week. I need them focused on the teacher and the class, and do t need to gaze adoringly at the (very little) progress that's made weekly, as I spend time with them outside the lesson, and we go swimming together regularly. I find this irritating and it would annoy me- you're employed to tearful my child to swim, not make judgment on my parenting or your perceived lack of it.

Bleurgh. Even if I didn’t use my phone, I’d want to after that because I’m an adult and if I need to answer a work email while my kids are nowhere near me, I will, because that’s life, ffs.

So incredibly patronising! I spend a lot of time with my kids. It implies that these terrible parents are always staring at their phones and never fully present. Looking away now and then to send an email at a swimming lesson is no big deal. It’s so OTT to insist parents watch every single move they make in the pool. I do make sure I watch about half of it, my dd likes to see me watching and appreciating what she’s learning. But watching every minute of every swimming lesson for years on end? Can kids not survive five minutes without a continuous adoring gaze?

are children growing up seeing their parents glued to their phones?
If you want to use your phone then don't bother sitting in by the pool.

It means a lot to a child that they have your attention. I think the msg is good but the tone a bit off.

If they'd just said it's safeguarding then I'd say suck it up and bring a paperback but this is ridiculous

I think I might show up with some strips of paper and pens, pass notes to the other parents whilst sniggering and whispering :o

Ridiculous. Once I got past the stage where I had to be actually in the pool with dd for her lessons, I sat outside in the cafe having a catch up with my friends. Our DCs never complained. Can you do that? Also, ‘Much love’ from the swimming teacher ..... bleurgh!

How old are the children? If they're 3 then maybe, but not if they're 11!