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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a refund straight away?

97 replies

ErmmmmNo · 08/09/2019 15:30

My wedding was yesterday.

We got to the venue and the DJ hadn't turned up.

He had called the venue an hour before hand to say his car had broken down so wasn't going to make it. Luckily, the woman who ran the venue was brilliant and got straight on the phone to local DJs and managed to find someone who got there an hour after the reception started.

The new DJ was good and we had a brilliant night.

However, I obviously now need to pay this new DJ but had already paid the other who didn't show (£350).

He's obviously agreed to refund me but it won't be until next week as he needs to pay cash into the bank...

I paid him via bank transfer. AIBU to say, no I want it sending over today/first thing tomorrow at the latest via online banking which is how I sent it to him.

I'm pretty pissed off about the whole thing anyway so I would prefer to get the money back asap so I'm not out of pocket for the emergency DJ!

OP posts:
Chloemol · 08/09/2019 15:52

Appreciate you are upset, although to be honest this wouldn’t be high on my todo list the day after my wedding

How is he going to transfer funds from his account if they are not in there? He’s said he needs to pay the cash in. He may not be enable to get an overdraft here to help cover, But he should be able to do this tomorrow and send the money tomorrow and that’s what I would be asking him to do

He wasn’t to know his car would break down

Original poster
ErmmmmNo · 08/09/2019 15:54

Where is the money I paid him? I only sent it via bank transfer recently to him!

OP posts:
Original poster
ErmmmmNo · 08/09/2019 15:55

It's on my to do list because I now have fork out for the other DJ without having my money back from the 1st one which is putting me out of pocket.

OP posts:
Jubba · 08/09/2019 15:56

That makes sense. You paid him the money etc

However. It is a Sunday. I would wait till tomorrow midday and if he doesn’t return. I would say I’m ringing the police for theft.

proseccoaficionado · 08/09/2019 15:58

So do you have an actual contract with him? If so, he obviously broke it. I wouldn't be happy with just the money back. What if you didn't find another DJ?!? He could've ruined your wedding! Why didn't he show up???

TheQueef · 08/09/2019 16:00

It's Sunday and quite likely be hasn't the cash to transfer until he deposits Monday, he probably used the money you transferred to pay bills or but food.
Give him a few days.
Congratulations and stop focusing on the negative Mrs E.

Original poster
ErmmmmNo · 08/09/2019 16:01

Why didn't he show up??

He said his car broke down.

I know I won't get the money on a Sunday but if he at least just set up the transfer it could be in my bank first thing so I could get the other DJ paid! I don't want to have to wait around for him to get to a bank and pay cash in.

I appreciate he didn't know his car broke down but that's not my problem? It's not just about the additional stress it caused yesterday but the fact that I'm now out of pocket waiting for him to refund me.

OP posts:
Lulualla · 08/09/2019 16:02

If you are desperately in need of it then I understand; if it's meant you can't eat or pay bills then of course you want it right away.
But, if you're managing without it then calm down. If you'd booked someone through an organisation then a refund would take a few days. You booked an individual, but it may still take a few days. They may be having cash flow issues or may be waiting for someone else to pay them. Your money has been spent, and he will need to get paid again or something. Refunds from big companies take time, waiting a few days seems reasonable and if you aren't in extreme difficulties then give him a few days.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 08/09/2019 16:04

I would be expecting more than my money back. I appreciate he didn't intend for his car to break down but he also didn't attempt to do anything to resolve the problem.

I don't see why you need to be out of pocket waiting for his to refund you. I would be expecting the money into my account tomorrow by the latest otherwise you may incur extra charges if other bills come out.

SunshineCake · 08/09/2019 16:08

I would have to do some digging to see if he's a genuine person who had a unfortunate situation.

The OP has bank transferred the money so if he can't simply return it he's either spent it or it's covered an unauthorised overdraft.

Ohthatsfabulousdarling · 08/09/2019 16:09

Congrats on your recent nuptuals course you shouldn't be out of pocket, and you do need to chase it, but enjoy the day with your new husband- unless it leaves you with no money at all try not to sweat it atleast for today.

MagneticSingularity · 08/09/2019 16:11

Where’s the money I sent him? He’s spent it? Where’s your emergency contingency fund in case of last minute wedding expenses?

Ring the police for theft? He hasn’t stolen anything, he’s refunding the money next week. And if he doesn’t refund then OP will have to take him to small claims court, the police will say it’s a civil matter.

Wouldn’t be happy with just the money back? Coulda ruined the wedding.’ But he didn’t ruin the wedding, OP got another DJ via the venue.

TheQueef · 08/09/2019 16:13

Just a thought but he did mitigate the problem by calling the venue allowing them to sort it out.
He could have just no showed.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 08/09/2019 16:13

He’s spent it? Where’s your emergency contingency fund in case of last minute wedding expenses?

What last minute expenses? The OP's wedding was yesterday everything would have been paid for months before the day or on the day so why would she need more money as an emergency fund for the wedding??

LifeofClimb · 08/09/2019 16:14

Honestly, I think this is one of those things that you don’t need to worry about - more stress than it’s worth to get the money back straight away. You will get it back, it’ll just take a few days. Cars break down. Shit happens.
Spend your time enjoying your new marriage, the money will come back soon. In the grand scheme of things, this shouldn’t be a big worry, especially if you can afford bills and food in the meantime!
Congrats on your wedding Flowers
And lucky you managed to get a replacement DJ! Feel lucky!

Croquembou · 08/09/2019 16:15

You can demand he pays you sooner but he's still just going to pay you back whenever he wants to. You can't take him to small claims after one day and this isn't theft.

The only thing you can control is your reaction so it's probably best to enjoy being newly-wed. Congratulations!

proseccoaficionado · 08/09/2019 16:16

@ErmmmmNo to me that's not an excuse good enough to ruin someone's wedding. I'd be taking this further. You were really lucky though and I'm so glad you had a wonderful wedding in the end

Boobiliboobiliboo · 08/09/2019 16:17

What did the contract say?

Boobiliboobiliboo · 08/09/2019 16:17

Won’t your wedding insurance cover it?

saffy1234 · 08/09/2019 16:18

If he did a faster payment you would get the money in seconds Sunday or not
YANBU and congratulations on your day that could of been ruined.If i was him Id of got a taxi/lift with my equipment to protect my reputation

Redglitter · 08/09/2019 16:19

I would say I’m ringing the police for theft

Good luck with that 🙄

MagneticSingularity · 08/09/2019 16:19

All the ‘I’d be expecting it in my account tomorrow...’ or what? If he doesn’t have the money to transfer back, he doesn’t have the money to transfer back and all the mumnetters in the world huffing and puffing about it won’t change that. Shit happens, no, the OP shouldn’t be out of pocket but winding herself up over something she has no control over is futile. Give the guy his chance to make good and if he doesn’t then look into pursuing it through the court.

Croquembou · 08/09/2019 16:23

I'd be taking this further.

How many times a week, on average, would you say you ask to speak to the manager?

Loveislandaddict · 08/09/2019 16:24

Would the new do be willing to wait a few days for payment?

BasinHaircut · 08/09/2019 16:24

Maybe he used your money to fix his car? I imagine most wedding DJ businesses aren’t siting on piles of cash.

Just pay the new DJ out of your own money. He shouldn’t have to wait until you gat a refund.

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