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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a refund straight away?

97 replies

ErmmmmNo · 08/09/2019 15:30

My wedding was yesterday.

We got to the venue and the DJ hadn't turned up.

He had called the venue an hour before hand to say his car had broken down so wasn't going to make it. Luckily, the woman who ran the venue was brilliant and got straight on the phone to local DJs and managed to find someone who got there an hour after the reception started.

The new DJ was good and we had a brilliant night.

However, I obviously now need to pay this new DJ but had already paid the other who didn't show (£350).

He's obviously agreed to refund me but it won't be until next week as he needs to pay cash into the bank...

I paid him via bank transfer. AIBU to say, no I want it sending over today/first thing tomorrow at the latest via online banking which is how I sent it to him.

I'm pretty pissed off about the whole thing anyway so I would prefer to get the money back asap so I'm not out of pocket for the emergency DJ!

OP posts:
HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 08/09/2019 16:26

Just pay the new DJ out of your own money. He shouldn’t have to wait until you gat a refund.

Whilst true that the new DJ shouldn't have to wait as he has already provided the service what if the reason the Op is so annoyed is because she cannot afford to pay him the amount owed without the refund being sent through?

littlepaddypaws · 08/09/2019 16:26

it's annoying but you really need to step back and breathe, if it's not sorted out by friday tell him you are going to take it further.
call the police ? mmm, that'll make their day among the other daft calls they get.

MagneticSingularity · 08/09/2019 16:29

I'd be taking this further.

How many times a week, on average, would you say you ask to speak to the manager?

Grin
mumwon · 08/09/2019 16:29

he can do transfer first thing on Monday if he does it as a bill payment from building soc or bank you should get it same day, no excuse - I have paid several bills for work on house this way this year so I know this is how it works. However, Saturday, even if banks are open is not usually a banking day

Divebar · 08/09/2019 16:31

He does sound a bit lame.... couldn’t he call a friend or a taxi to pick him up and drop him off with his kit? I think you should probably content yourself with the fact that your day was not ruined and relax today and not worry about it if possible. You will undoubtedly get to leave a review online about your experiences with him so it’s in his best interests to get his arse in gear and return your money to you post haste.

SoupDragon · 08/09/2019 16:31

If he doesn't have the money in his account to refund you, what do you expect him to do?

It's just one of those things that is no one's fault.

RavenLG · 08/09/2019 16:45

Tbh if you didn’t have the contingency money to pay the other DJ you shouldn’t have hired him imo or you should have called your wedding insurers and let them deal with it.

bobsyourauntie · 08/09/2019 16:46

If his car had broken down, then the onus was on him to get there one way or another, but anyway, you can't get blood out of a stone, so if he doesn't have the money, he doesn't have it....

New DJ will just have to wait until old DJ repays you. Not nice for everyone, but not a lot you can do about it.

proseccoaficionado · 08/09/2019 16:47

@MagneticSingularity I've never said it actually. I wouldn't tolerate this for my wedding. We have a contract with every single service provider, and each and every contract states specifically they need to pay damages if they don't show up.

kierenthecommunity · 08/09/2019 16:48

I would say I’m ringing the police for theft

You could say that, but he’ll probably laugh. Not as much as the police call handler admittedly.

Theft, my arse.

Itsfineactually · 08/09/2019 16:49

This happened yesterday? I think you need to be patient. It's Sunday today so if he doesn't have the cash (yeah he probably shouldn't have spent it until after the gig, but he might have needed it for fuel, accommodation, music stuff I dunno) he can't transfer until he can put money in and the banks aren't open on a Sunday.

user1486131602 · 08/09/2019 16:49

Just tell him you’ll meet him at the bank!

Croquembou · 08/09/2019 16:51

@MagneticSingularity I've never said it actually.

@proseccoaficionado It was me who said this to you actually, Magnetic just laughed as well.

No doubt the Wedding DJ Ombudsman is braced for the OPs call.

Chocolatemouse84 · 08/09/2019 16:53

I'm not self employed so I don't now how it works but should he have spent the money before actually completing the job? If op paid by bank transfer, surely the money should just easily be transferred back.

It does seem unfair that the op has to wait for the refund when he hasn't fulfilled what he has been paid to do.

coconuttelegraph · 08/09/2019 16:54

Not unreasonable to want the refund immediately but it might be that no 1 DJ just doesn't have it now, that's life, he didn't know his car was going to break down (if that's what actually happened)

Who would you take it further with @proseccoaficionado? The Master Guild of Wedding DJs? Some people have no setting between no reaction and over-reaction it seems.

hazell42 · 08/09/2019 16:58

Just because you paid into his us account over the Internet, doesnt mean that he necessarily has internet banking too.
I have at least one bank account where i physically have to go to the bank to.draw it out
He had an unforeseen occurrence
He called to.let you know
You arranged something else and had a great night
If he hasnt paid in the next few days that is the time to start leaning on him
And I certainly wouldn't be asking for more money or phoning the police as some pp have said. It was annoying I'm sure, but just one of those things

MrsMaiselsMuff · 08/09/2019 17:01

If you wanted to take it further, you'd need to demonstrate loss as a result of the breach of contract. Was the new DJ more expensive? If so that would be a foreseeable loss. If not, you've not suffered any loss so any claim would be pointless.

(I wouldn't be claiming. These things happen, no harm was done, and sometimes people don't have spare money sat in their account to make a payment.)

FrauHaribo · 08/09/2019 17:01

Congratulations on your wedding! Flowers

Sounds like you avoided a badly unprofessional individual frankly. Since when a car breaking down is an excuse for missing out an engagement completely? unless he lied and had a more valid reason, at worst he might have been slightly late, but that's a ridiculous excuse he gave you for not turning up at all.

I do agree that you can't do anything on Sunday -apologise profusely to the other DJ and explain, then insist loudly for the CF to refund you tomorrow first thing.

if you are in the UK ,bank transfers are instant, even on a Sunday... So he can get himself the cash first thing tomorrow and pay you immediately.

Shame you have to waste your time with him, but at least he didn't spoil the wedding.

FrauHaribo · 08/09/2019 17:03

Maybe he used your money to fix his car?
then he should have used it for a taxi if he was in the least professional.

I would also give him an honest review on social media, simply stating that he didn't turn up, advising you only 1 hour before your wedding.

Skittlenommer · 08/09/2019 17:03

I wouldn’t just want a refund I’d sue the bastard!

littlepaddypaws · 08/09/2019 17:04

why is the original dj a cf 'frau' ?

FrauHaribo · 08/09/2019 17:15

not turning up for a wedding because a car "broke down" is unacceptable, and not refunding immediately because you "haven't got the money" totally unacceptable.

Original poster
ErmmmmNo · 08/09/2019 17:19

Just to confirm, I didn't book the 2nd DJ. The venue did it themselves whilst I was getting married (I had no phone on me). I only found out about this when I got to the reception. The 2nd DJ got there about an hour after the reception started because it was obviously last minute for him.

I don't want to have to keep the second DJ waiting as that isn't fair on him but I'm annoyed that I'm the one being left out of pocket because the old DJ has spent my money and can't just refund it straight away when I'm not the one who's done anything wrong.

Yes I get if there's no money in the account there's no money, what can I do but I'm bloody pissed off that he couldn't just send it me immediately to avoid me being the one having to pay out for his unfortunate situation. If it actually happened.

I won't call the police obviously. We don't have a lot of money that's all.

OP posts:
Original poster
ErmmmmNo · 08/09/2019 17:25

Just pay the new DJ out of your own money

Yes that's what I intend to do but it's a bit upsetting when you don't have tonnes of spare cash laying around to deal with someone else's problem.

And if he used my money to fix his car then he should have been there... Hmm

OP posts:
LinoVentura · 08/09/2019 17:26

I've been a DJ since around 1990. No DJ with even the slightest amount of self respect would let someone down on their wedding day. Even if I were on death's door I would arrange for a reputable replacement to replace me before I cancelled playing at someone's wedding. The OP hired a cowboy and should consider herself lucky that someone managed to find a replacement. Making the replacement DJ wait for his payment is unacceptable.

I suggest that the OP pays the DJ immediately and accepts that she will possibly receive a refund from the cowboy next week.