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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To never allow these people to stay at my house again? (Long)

93 replies

Turniptracker · 07/09/2019 22:21

Long story so apologies in advance.

Last night I had three friends over for a girls night, all in mid to late twenties, I will call them Annie, John and Sally. I had specified beforehand that I didn't mind hosting but really didnt want people to stay (they live fairly locally) as I had a lot to do the next day. However two people said they would need to leave at 7 the next morning so I said it would be ok for them to stay.

It started well, we had a couple of gin and tonics while enjoying some food and watched a film. Then we had a few more drinks and decided to play a game. "Annie" suddenly got really stroppy during the game, complained everyone was talking over her and she "wasn't interested anymore". Retired to her corner of the sofa, ignoring everyone and went on her phone. Told everyone to leave her alone.
I absolutely hate conflict and this made me feel really uncomfortable in my own home so it upset me. I packed the game up, said I wasn't continuing, and left the room to clear the kitchen and escape the drama. John tried to cheer her up but Annie kept telling her to leave her alone. I was annoyed this girl was being petty and was ruining what had been a nice night so I told her directly to get over herself, lots of people talked over one another when they had had drink and stop ruining the night. She seemed to get over it then and carried on as normal.
About an hour later, after copious drinking, Annie is slumped in a corner of the sofa and proclaims she feels very unwell. Announces she will have to sleep on the sofa because she feels too unwell to go home. I tentatively place a bin in front of her which she promptly throws up in.

At this point I'm already despairing at how the night has turned out. My idea of a girls night at my age is lots of fun chit chat with a few drinks. Not binge drinking yourself into oblivion.

Whilst Annie is vomiting and crying about her predicament, Sally goes missing for a while. She eventually turns up and very quietly states she has "been a little unwell". I am concerned and offer her to have some water but she says she is fine and starts downing a large gin and tonic. I think this is a bit weird if she has been sick so I assume she meant she had a bad tummy or something.

It gets late and I'm trying to usher everyone into going to bed as I know they have a 7am wake up, it's already 2am and I want them to sleep off their alcohol to be safe. So John and Sally head upstairs leaving Annie on the sofa passed out, they couldn't have given two hoots about her welfare. So I'm now trying to sober up Annie by sitting her on the doorstep to get some fresh air.

A very drunk Sally then returns to and from the kitchen with a bunch of alcohol bottles in her arms, spilling a lot of it on the floor I discovered later. While I ask her what she is doing aren't we going to bed? She says her and John will continue drinking in their room if I am going to bed. I'm too busy with Annie to care.

I then get Annie into the bathroom as she feels she might be sick again. This is when I discovered that yes, Sally was sick, all over my bathroom sink. She has BLOCKED the sick with chunks of vomit and the rest of the area is covered in puke (including my nice soap). At this point I become beyond livid. Not only had I scrubbed my house clean before receiving guests but she had not even bothered to tell me about the absolute state of my bathroom that I then had to clean by picking all the vomit chunks out the sink. The fact that she had also continued to drink and was STILL drinking disgusted me.

I promptly went upstairs and told John and Sally to stop drinking, that they had completely disrespected me and my home and where on earth did they think they were? This was supposed to be a girls night in not out clubbing or at a festival getting shit faced. Also they needed to drive at 7am so they were being completely irresponsible.

I finally managed to sober Annie up and get her in a taxi by 4 in the morning (with no concern from the other two) and I don't believe John and Sally went to bed at all before leaving at 7am so they may well be in a ditch somewhere from drink driving.

Aibu to feel really hurt by how these people have behaved? My house is my pride and joy and they have been so disrespectful of it, as well as the boundaries I had already specified. I never want them to stay in my house again.

OP posts:
Queenoftheashes · 07/09/2019 22:27

No obviously this was outrageous

MzHz · 07/09/2019 22:29

Yanbu

They’re not friends! They’re fucking parasites

Who behaves like that??

LynetteScavo · 07/09/2019 22:29

I would have told Sally to clean her own vomit out if the sink!

Bang out of order. I would never host them again.

Cheeserton · 07/09/2019 22:29

YANBU. What a bunch of complete twats.

MsTSwift · 07/09/2019 22:30

Mid to late twenties? Most 16 year olds would behave better. Bin. You need a friend upgrade

MzHz · 07/09/2019 22:31

Of course your problem began when you agreed to let them stay as they had to be out early...

You should’ve called cabs at midnight or something

Lesson learned

dappledsunshine · 07/09/2019 22:32

That's disgusting! How old are these people op, no excuse for that behaviour.

WhatWhyWhen · 07/09/2019 22:33

I thought people grew out of threat shit by 20.

YANBU and if they don’t send you a huge bunch of flowers and a total abject apology not only should they not be in your home but they shouldn’t be friends!

summersherewishiwasnt · 07/09/2019 22:33

Block them, you know it’s awful behavior.
Yabu to ever talk to them again.

SezziBaybee · 07/09/2019 22:36

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the request of the poster.

thenightsky · 07/09/2019 22:36

Girls night in? John is a bloke? Confused

thenightsky · 07/09/2019 22:37

Oh God, leaving lumps of sick in someone else's sink. Dear God. Now that is seriously grim.

Never have them around again OP.

ginnybag · 07/09/2019 22:38

Wow. No, ditch the lot. They sound like teenagers at a house party when mum and dad are away!

PinkiOcelot · 07/09/2019 22:39

What was John doing on a girls night in?

NoSquirrels · 07/09/2019 22:40

How long have you known these people?

Lellikelly26 · 07/09/2019 22:43

What an awful night. Get new friends

Lovethetimeyouhave · 07/09/2019 22:44

Wow, a fully grown adult leaving that mess is absolutely horrendous

SunshineAngel · 07/09/2019 22:46

It's all very well drinking too much, as people can get carried away on a night with friends, but this is ridiculous. They are certainly old enough to know better.

You deserve an apology from each and every one of them, and I certainly wouldn't be inviting them around again. Definitely not to stay over.

Drum2018 · 07/09/2019 22:47

Well you know never to invite them to your house again. Hope they have the manners to apologise.

recklessruby · 07/09/2019 22:48

Yes "John" is puzzling me too. Was it just girls but he came along with one of them?
It sounds like a 16 year olds party that got out of hand and you sound like a parent looking after them all!
Yanbu to bin the lot of them and never have them round again!

Turniptracker · 07/09/2019 22:48

I've known them for at least 3 years. All are 25+
I have not received an apology or a single word of thanks for having me or anything from John or sally.
Annie was very upset with herself and very apologetic.
Don't worry I was planning on binning them asap, just wanted to check I wasn't being a bitch

OP posts:
Turniptracker · 07/09/2019 22:49

And yes, I have boy mates who come over for a girly night in too.

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 07/09/2019 22:50

I was confused about John on a girls night in too. Anyway, they’re all arseholes. I hope they are hungover and ashamed. Don’t have them back.

MadameButterface · 07/09/2019 22:53

Right away when they tried to overrule you saying they couldn’t stay over by saying oh we’ll leave early the next day was when you should have cancelled

People who start by disrespecting your boundaries in small ways invariably end up doing cheeky necky shit like this

Oh well live and learn

Iamthewombat · 07/09/2019 22:56

Bloody hell! As others have noted, this is how 16 year olds behave at those parties you read about (where the parents have gone away and the teenage kid invites a few friends on Facebook, then 200 turn up).

Annie: sulky whinger.

Sally & John: selfish, disrespectful. Who is that desperate for bloody booze? I’d love to know why they were so keen to stay at your house instead of getting a taxi back that night. Are they both with other people and trying to use your house as a place to meet?

Agree: get new friends.

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