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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To never allow these people to stay at my house again? (Long)

93 replies

Turniptracker · 07/09/2019 22:21

Long story so apologies in advance.

Last night I had three friends over for a girls night, all in mid to late twenties, I will call them Annie, John and Sally. I had specified beforehand that I didn't mind hosting but really didnt want people to stay (they live fairly locally) as I had a lot to do the next day. However two people said they would need to leave at 7 the next morning so I said it would be ok for them to stay.

It started well, we had a couple of gin and tonics while enjoying some food and watched a film. Then we had a few more drinks and decided to play a game. "Annie" suddenly got really stroppy during the game, complained everyone was talking over her and she "wasn't interested anymore". Retired to her corner of the sofa, ignoring everyone and went on her phone. Told everyone to leave her alone.
I absolutely hate conflict and this made me feel really uncomfortable in my own home so it upset me. I packed the game up, said I wasn't continuing, and left the room to clear the kitchen and escape the drama. John tried to cheer her up but Annie kept telling her to leave her alone. I was annoyed this girl was being petty and was ruining what had been a nice night so I told her directly to get over herself, lots of people talked over one another when they had had drink and stop ruining the night. She seemed to get over it then and carried on as normal.
About an hour later, after copious drinking, Annie is slumped in a corner of the sofa and proclaims she feels very unwell. Announces she will have to sleep on the sofa because she feels too unwell to go home. I tentatively place a bin in front of her which she promptly throws up in.

At this point I'm already despairing at how the night has turned out. My idea of a girls night at my age is lots of fun chit chat with a few drinks. Not binge drinking yourself into oblivion.

Whilst Annie is vomiting and crying about her predicament, Sally goes missing for a while. She eventually turns up and very quietly states she has "been a little unwell". I am concerned and offer her to have some water but she says she is fine and starts downing a large gin and tonic. I think this is a bit weird if she has been sick so I assume she meant she had a bad tummy or something.

It gets late and I'm trying to usher everyone into going to bed as I know they have a 7am wake up, it's already 2am and I want them to sleep off their alcohol to be safe. So John and Sally head upstairs leaving Annie on the sofa passed out, they couldn't have given two hoots about her welfare. So I'm now trying to sober up Annie by sitting her on the doorstep to get some fresh air.

A very drunk Sally then returns to and from the kitchen with a bunch of alcohol bottles in her arms, spilling a lot of it on the floor I discovered later. While I ask her what she is doing aren't we going to bed? She says her and John will continue drinking in their room if I am going to bed. I'm too busy with Annie to care.

I then get Annie into the bathroom as she feels she might be sick again. This is when I discovered that yes, Sally was sick, all over my bathroom sink. She has BLOCKED the sick with chunks of vomit and the rest of the area is covered in puke (including my nice soap). At this point I become beyond livid. Not only had I scrubbed my house clean before receiving guests but she had not even bothered to tell me about the absolute state of my bathroom that I then had to clean by picking all the vomit chunks out the sink. The fact that she had also continued to drink and was STILL drinking disgusted me.

I promptly went upstairs and told John and Sally to stop drinking, that they had completely disrespected me and my home and where on earth did they think they were? This was supposed to be a girls night in not out clubbing or at a festival getting shit faced. Also they needed to drive at 7am so they were being completely irresponsible.

I finally managed to sober Annie up and get her in a taxi by 4 in the morning (with no concern from the other two) and I don't believe John and Sally went to bed at all before leaving at 7am so they may well be in a ditch somewhere from drink driving.

Aibu to feel really hurt by how these people have behaved? My house is my pride and joy and they have been so disrespectful of it, as well as the boundaries I had already specified. I never want them to stay in my house again.

OP posts:
Durgasarrow · 08/09/2019 02:48

Their behavior was far more horrible than what I imagined you would write. Of course they could not stay over again!

Icantthinkofanynewnames · 08/09/2019 03:56

Can’t focus on the thread, too confused about John? You can John and ‘her’ and repeatedly refer to your girls night - is John a girl or a boy? Not relevant but need to know for my own sanity. If a boy, why was he at girls night? If a girl, why did you name her John?

Actionhasmagic · 08/09/2019 03:57

Yanbuuuu this is awful!!!!!

CodenameVillanelle · 08/09/2019 04:06

Apparently men can come to girls nights. Most people just call that 'having friends round' Grin
OP they are dirty bastards and I wouldn't ever have them in my house again. I don't have anyone in my house drinking heavily these days and it's bliss.

Timeaftertime42 · 08/09/2019 04:36

The duvet was put back the wrong way up, and your friends MIGHT have had sex (but probably just crashed given all the booze). FFS, just wash them

I really think op was joking about burning the sheets??? Grin

Op so sorry you had a horrible night, I'd be backing away from the friendship all together, they disrespected your boundaries from the outset as you'd said that you didn't want them to stay at all. Time to find better friends who are ready to grow up!!

OooErMissus · 08/09/2019 04:53

Apparently men can come to girls nights. Most people just call that 'having friends round' Grin

Right?!

yourestandingonmyneck · 08/09/2019 05:15

John tried to cheer her up but Annie kept telling her to leave her alone.

This is also bugging me about John! You've said John is male but have referred to him as a she?

Either way, they are all arseholes, I would want nothing more to do with them.

The vomit in the bathroom is soooo far from acceptable. I just can't imagine knowing someone for 3 years and then they did this. I would definitely bring this up and see what she has to say. Disgusting.

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/09/2019 06:14

Gross for continuing to drink after you’ve puked everywhere. I’ve dealt with my own fair share of vomiters and people disrespecting my home. Have you been out drinking with these people before? Did sally and John push you or Annie to keep up drinking?

ShippingNews · 08/09/2019 06:24

I wouldn't have a girls' night ( or maybe a girls and boy night ? ) on a night when some of them have to be gone by 7am - presumably having to get up by 6-30am. Sounds crazy to me.

Monty27 · 08/09/2019 06:32

Ugh and yuk.
There's a first and last time for everything sometimes. Mark it down to experience and move on OP.
Good luck with the cleaning Hmm

BishopFrownofStThigh · 08/09/2019 06:35

Surprised you asked OP, let them do their vomiting elsewhere from now on

Weezol · 08/09/2019 06:38

I would have kicked them all out at 4am. Sorry, I am mean

They'd have been gone long before then, I wouldn't have been sorry and it's not mean to chuck twats out of your house!

Who paid for all the booze?

FAIL2PREPARE · 08/09/2019 06:43

They would have been locked out on my doorstep at the first sign of having drunk too much, i wont tolerate people vomiting in my home. They'll soon call a cab if locked out in the cold! Also would be dropped as friends.

Monty27 · 08/09/2019 06:45

Yes I guess I would have got them out

vintanner · 08/09/2019 06:46

YANBU about the way they acted in your home and I personally would never be friends with them again.

You were also U for letting 2 of them drive in that state saying so they may well be in a ditch somewhere from drink driving.

They may be in a ditch but so could someone else, and it would be your fault for not keeping their keys and getting them a taxi to get home.

PhilCornwall1 · 08/09/2019 06:47

I think at the point "Annie" started to have a cob on I'd have ended the whole evening and told them all to get a taxi and bugger off home.

Weezol · 08/09/2019 06:51

They may be in a ditch but so could someone else, and it would be your fault for not keeping their keys and getting them a taxi to get home

No, that would be the fault of the person who decided to drive drunk. I would (and have) called the police on someone getting in a car when they've been drinking, both personally and as bar staff.

Butchyrestingface · 08/09/2019 06:51

I promptly went upstairs and told John and Sally to stop drinking, that they had completely disrespected me and my home and where on earth did they think they were?

What did they say to this?

Their behaviour was awful. Realistically speaking though, I can’t imagine asking people (including a bloke) over for a “girly” evening that has the potential to involve a shit tonne of alcohol, allowing them to stay the night but expect them to leave at 7am (!) the next morning. My sense is that was never going to happen.

Whose alcohol were they drinking - yours or did they bring their own?

Butchyrestingface · 08/09/2019 06:53

You were also U for letting 2 of them drive in that state saying so they may well be in a ditch somewhere from drink driving.

Well, if this happened last night, surely they haven’t gone yet at 6:52am? OP has another 8 minutes to swallow the keys. Grin

PhilCornwall1 · 08/09/2019 06:56

@Butchyrestingface The original post was just past 10pm Saturday night, so it's safe to assume she was talking about Friday night?

Butchyrestingface · 08/09/2019 06:58

@Butchyrestingface The original post was just past 10pm Saturday night, so it's safe to assume she was talking about Friday night?

Ah, k. 💡👍 Hopefully they’re well gone by now then! Grin

YouJustDoYou · 08/09/2019 07:01

Wtf? That's vile - off they fuck. Your poor bathroom :(

BeanBag7 · 08/09/2019 07:03

I promptly went upstairs and told John and Sally to stop drinking, that they had completely disrespected me and my home and where on earth did they think they were?

At this point I would have made them clear up their own mess ans then kicked them out. If I was feeling generous I might call then a cab, depending in their reaction to being asked to clean up. I wouldn't be bothered about offending them as it's not like you would ever want to see them again anyway.

Unless they turn up tomorrow with a huge heartfelt apology and gift, I would be cutting them out of my life completely. Life is too short to spend with people who clearly don't respect or like you.

PhilCornwall1 · 08/09/2019 07:16

@Butchyrestingface Sounds like they were "well gone" before they left the house. 🤮

Turniptracker · 08/09/2019 08:29

John is a boy yes, sorry got my pronouns jumbled up there! I just refer to girls nights and nights in with friends with food and films as it's what I used to do when I was young with just my gal pals.
My idea of the night, as someone who appreciates an early night after a working day, was a relaxed couple of drinks, food and film with friends, maybe a couple of games, and bed by 1 . I didn't expect the people who knew they had to drive (it was one driving the two of them) to be completely unable to self manage. In fact I didn't expect people to be drinking like that in the first place in all honesty. As I ended up going to bed at 5am I wasn't awake when they left to see if they were ok but I had repeatedly reminded them about driving and being irresponsible.
Tbh it left me feeling completely horrified that people that age can have so little self control

OP posts: