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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To never allow these people to stay at my house again? (Long)

93 replies

Turniptracker · 07/09/2019 22:21

Long story so apologies in advance.

Last night I had three friends over for a girls night, all in mid to late twenties, I will call them Annie, John and Sally. I had specified beforehand that I didn't mind hosting but really didnt want people to stay (they live fairly locally) as I had a lot to do the next day. However two people said they would need to leave at 7 the next morning so I said it would be ok for them to stay.

It started well, we had a couple of gin and tonics while enjoying some food and watched a film. Then we had a few more drinks and decided to play a game. "Annie" suddenly got really stroppy during the game, complained everyone was talking over her and she "wasn't interested anymore". Retired to her corner of the sofa, ignoring everyone and went on her phone. Told everyone to leave her alone.
I absolutely hate conflict and this made me feel really uncomfortable in my own home so it upset me. I packed the game up, said I wasn't continuing, and left the room to clear the kitchen and escape the drama. John tried to cheer her up but Annie kept telling her to leave her alone. I was annoyed this girl was being petty and was ruining what had been a nice night so I told her directly to get over herself, lots of people talked over one another when they had had drink and stop ruining the night. She seemed to get over it then and carried on as normal.
About an hour later, after copious drinking, Annie is slumped in a corner of the sofa and proclaims she feels very unwell. Announces she will have to sleep on the sofa because she feels too unwell to go home. I tentatively place a bin in front of her which she promptly throws up in.

At this point I'm already despairing at how the night has turned out. My idea of a girls night at my age is lots of fun chit chat with a few drinks. Not binge drinking yourself into oblivion.

Whilst Annie is vomiting and crying about her predicament, Sally goes missing for a while. She eventually turns up and very quietly states she has "been a little unwell". I am concerned and offer her to have some water but she says she is fine and starts downing a large gin and tonic. I think this is a bit weird if she has been sick so I assume she meant she had a bad tummy or something.

It gets late and I'm trying to usher everyone into going to bed as I know they have a 7am wake up, it's already 2am and I want them to sleep off their alcohol to be safe. So John and Sally head upstairs leaving Annie on the sofa passed out, they couldn't have given two hoots about her welfare. So I'm now trying to sober up Annie by sitting her on the doorstep to get some fresh air.

A very drunk Sally then returns to and from the kitchen with a bunch of alcohol bottles in her arms, spilling a lot of it on the floor I discovered later. While I ask her what she is doing aren't we going to bed? She says her and John will continue drinking in their room if I am going to bed. I'm too busy with Annie to care.

I then get Annie into the bathroom as she feels she might be sick again. This is when I discovered that yes, Sally was sick, all over my bathroom sink. She has BLOCKED the sick with chunks of vomit and the rest of the area is covered in puke (including my nice soap). At this point I become beyond livid. Not only had I scrubbed my house clean before receiving guests but she had not even bothered to tell me about the absolute state of my bathroom that I then had to clean by picking all the vomit chunks out the sink. The fact that she had also continued to drink and was STILL drinking disgusted me.

I promptly went upstairs and told John and Sally to stop drinking, that they had completely disrespected me and my home and where on earth did they think they were? This was supposed to be a girls night in not out clubbing or at a festival getting shit faced. Also they needed to drive at 7am so they were being completely irresponsible.

I finally managed to sober Annie up and get her in a taxi by 4 in the morning (with no concern from the other two) and I don't believe John and Sally went to bed at all before leaving at 7am so they may well be in a ditch somewhere from drink driving.

Aibu to feel really hurt by how these people have behaved? My house is my pride and joy and they have been so disrespectful of it, as well as the boundaries I had already specified. I never want them to stay in my house again.

OP posts:
Weezol · 08/09/2019 08:32

They don't need self control if they leave all the clearing up to someone else - they just walk away from the mess and chaos without a second thought.

Thereisasystem · 08/09/2019 08:40

Where did all the alcohol come from?

Turniptracker · 08/09/2019 08:42

Everyone brought a bottle (of gin) as we were going to have a mini gin tasting

OP posts:
Thereisasystem · 08/09/2019 08:44

Have you heard from.them since OP?

jamieandjohn · 08/09/2019 08:50

This is what alcohol does to People! Turns them into total dicks. Sure they are perfectly nice usually.

meyouandlulutoo · 08/09/2019 08:59

There seems to be a very intriguing dynamic between Annie, John and Sally - or perhaps that just my active imagination Grin. A few drinks in, and Annie gets the hump, John tries to comfort her, she is having none of it, then he and Sally leave you to deal with Annie while they continue drinking in 'their room. I agree with PPs who said Sally should have been made to clean up the bathroom.

When you told them that you didn't want the evening to turn into a sleepover, you should have stuck to that and ordered taxis for all 3 of them once you decided to end the game.

Get rid of all of them.

Beautiful3 · 08/09/2019 09:16

That's so rude and disrespectful of your home. Who does that? As if you wanted to spend the night unblocking vomit from your sink. Why didn't she tell you?! And then to continue drinking?!?! I would never invite them again. Unless it was an alcohol free night for obvious reasons.

yourestandingonmyneck · 08/09/2019 09:39

As they all live local, why did they insist on staying the night when you said you didn't want people staying over? Sounds to me like there is something going on with sally and John.

Not cool.

Jux · 08/09/2019 12:11

That's teen behaviour - bad teen behaviour. I'd tell them they're never coming to your house again. Or I'd certainly bin them as friends, all of them.

justgivemewine · 08/09/2019 12:34

Never mind never having them in your house again, i would be reconsidering the whole friendship. Leaving the vomit for you to clear up is just disgusting. I've been shitfaced in my younger years and thrown up but managed to clear it up myself (sooner or later)

Annie might get a second chance as at least shes apologised.

Funghi · 08/09/2019 12:44

Grim.

What a way to spend your weekend. I wouldn’t be speaking to any of them again.

MadameGazelleIsMyHomegirl · 08/09/2019 12:46

Are you sure they were just drinking alcohol? I have ‘friends’ who drink all night like this. Turns out they’re all secret cocaine addicts.

JamOnTheCarpet · 08/09/2019 13:14

I'd probably forgive Annie if she's been apologetic and that behaviour is out of character for her... She'd get a second chance.

YADNBU to never have the other two over though. It sounds like a bunch of immature 16 year olds who don't know their limits (apart from OP) not people in their late 20s!

Turniptracker · 08/09/2019 16:22

The irony is the other two always act like Annie is the childish one but their behaviour has been far worse in my opinion.
Still no word of apology, or anything at all actually from Sally or John. Maybe they got the message they had totally f'd up, or maybe they couldn't give a crap. Probably the latter

OP posts:
Dizzywizz · 09/09/2019 05:20

Are these people close friends of yours @Turniptracker? Have you known them long?

Turniptracker · 09/09/2019 12:15

Work friends from a bigger social group I interact with regularly. Which will now be very awkward...

OP posts:
meyouandlulutoo · 09/09/2019 13:40

@Turniptracker

Work friends from a bigger social group I interact with regularly. Which will now be very awkward.

There is no need for you to feel awkward. You did nothing wrong, Sally and John are the ones that abused your hospitality, resulting in you having to clean up after them. They should be the shamefaced ones. In your position I would probably forgive Annie.

SavingSpaces2019 · 09/09/2019 15:30

The irony is the other two always act like Annie is the childish one but their behaviour has been far worse in my opinion
Given Annie's 'mood' earlier in the evening and John's hassling to get her back 'in the mood'.....do you think maybe she's being bullied and is their scapegoat?
Cos no matter how drunk and sick she got she still kept it to 'herself' as much as she could and didn't trash your house.

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