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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be bemused at people that can’t name their newborns

90 replies

Potofjoy · 07/09/2019 16:40

I have an acquaintance that still hasn’t named their baby and it’s now 4 weeks old. Surely you have a good idea what to choose, after all there’s plenty of time to draw up a shortlist! Did you all have names ready or was it a case of waiting to see what inspired you at the time?

OP posts:

ilovemytumbledryer · 07/09/2019 16:41

I agree. Baffles me

ilovemytumbledryer · 07/09/2019 16:42

What’s even worse is them saying they are waiting to see if they suit a name. All babies look the same!

AlexaShutUp · 07/09/2019 16:49

We were really undecided before dd was born. Obviously, we had discussed it endlessly but we hadn't been able to reach a conclusion. It only really fell into place after dd was born, when one of our possible choices just seemed to suit her somehow. I love her name now and I'm glad we chose it.

I can't imagine getting to four weeks without having decided, but I guess it's an important decision and people don't want to make the wrong choice. It's not as if the baby is bothered about having to wait!

MordredsOrrery · 07/09/2019 16:50

We took a week first time and almost 6 weeks the second time. We weren't waiting to see what the DCs looked like, we just weren't really keen on many names, plus trying to find names which worked in two cultures was harder than we'd expected.

I'm not clear why you would be bothered by this though?

cad186 · 07/09/2019 16:50

We couldn't decide on a name so didnt name him until we had to!

tulippa · 07/09/2019 16:51

Yeah I've always thought this. You get a whole nine months to come up with a few ideas about something you've probably thought a bit about before and then settle on one once they're born! Not that difficult.

Original poster

Potofjoy · 07/09/2019 16:52

I’m not really bothered, I only know the woman through another friend. I did ponder it all, the woman had always struck me as being the very last person to have a baby - completely non maternal. It did get me thinking if not naming the baby was almost a kind of denial.

OP posts:

BeanBag7 · 07/09/2019 16:56

I also find this strange. If you have had 9 months to decide on a name (or shortlist at least) then why would another 3 or 4 weeks make any difference.

I find it particularly strange when the couple already have children. Surely it's much easier to introduce your child to "your brother David"

MordredsOrrery · 07/09/2019 16:58

I know a few couples where they haven't chosen a name until later after the birth because their pregnancies were high risk and they didn't want to think about names until baby had arrived safely. Really, it's each to their own I would think?

Anothernotherone · 07/09/2019 17:00

Where I live you have to register the birth within one week as a legal requirement.

I'm also baffled why people don't pick names during the pregnancy - not having at least a choice of two before the baby is born seems like a staggering lack of preparation, or as you say denial, if the baby is full term. Obviously where the baby is very premature it's normal not to be ready and to be taken by surprise, but it's very rare not to know the baby's due immediately if you're 37+ weeks pregnant, so not to be ready by then is strange...

I agree waiting to see what the baby looks like should result in all babys being named Winston Churchill or Red-and-Wrinkled or Small...

EdnaAdaSmith · 07/09/2019 17:01

Even if the worst happens and you lose the baby, they still need a name

OrangeSwoosh · 07/09/2019 17:01

I'm pretty sure it usually means they're arguing over names!

We chose and agreed on names immediately and there was never any deviation. It didn't "suit" DS initially but after 6 or so months, he is his name if that makes sense.

As for "seeing what they look like", don't most babies look like Winston Churchill?

JayDot500 · 07/09/2019 17:04

Took us three weeks. We specifically don't think of names for DC until they are born. We decided the name would be from DH's language, and since all the names have meaning we wanted to go with how we felt, what suited DS etc.

For example, you wouldn't name a child who was quite restless, the equivalent of 'Serene' in DHs language. Naming that same child Oliver wouldn't necessarily be something I'd wait for, but I understand parents who do wait.

53rdWay · 07/09/2019 17:05

I didn’t name my eldest for three days and one of the midwives told me off about it. “You do have to give that baby a name, you know!” Oh bugger, really? I was planning to go with “oi, you” until she was at secondary.

Never named any of mine until they were born, though. Seemed weird to decide on a name before I’d met them. I did have a definite girl favourite name for DD1 right through pregnancy but ditched it when she was born because it didn’t seem to work somehow.

Icantthinkofanynewnames · 07/09/2019 17:05

In some cultures people don’t name the baby until a month old - it’s quite common. Could it be cultural?

keepingbees · 07/09/2019 17:06

I had short lists but didn't make a choice until after the births, as I do actually think names can either suit or not seem right. With my youngest we couldn't agree as DH wouldn't budge on a name I wasn't keen on.
What's it matter anyway? They all end up with name sooner or later. Better to think and get it right than have name regret.

MidnightinTokyo · 07/09/2019 17:07

I'm in the middle of this now! I think it's an issue because everyone wants to give opinions and we tend to go for more adventurous options, then our ancestors who opted for John and Mary most of the time.

Monestasi · 07/09/2019 17:07

Depends, where I live it is common to not name the baby until baptism.

I find it odd, but I have learnt not to judge.

IWentAwayIStayedAway · 07/09/2019 17:08

Took me 5 weeks with one child. What business is it of yours you perfect specimen of a human

MRex · 07/09/2019 17:09

My health visitor said all babies look like an old man or a potato, and they really do. I guess that explains the origin of the name Chip.

I don't know how people don't have names in mind either. I once knew a guy whose parents were taken to court because they hadn't named him in 7 weeks. He said they finally agreed on his name on the way to court because they still hadn't decided. Dan. All that palaver and they just called him Dan, like one in ten other boys in the class at school.

24hourshomeedderandcarer · 07/09/2019 17:17

i knew what no 2 child was going to be called as soon as i found out the sex

with no 1 i didnt find out what sex so it was going to be a suprise but had a unisex name picked out,which is his name

unless its a hidden pregnancy and you dont know till you give birth you have so so long to decide

a cousin(3rd but still close) called their baby a name for majority of the pregnancy and a few weeks after having her but changed the name at registering

she even had blankets gifted to her with the original name one which did cause a bit of a row with 2 family members

Yogurtcoveredricecake · 07/09/2019 17:24

I fine it a bit daft. I also think it's a bit ridiculous when people announce the name of their child after the 20 week scan and then refer to the bump as "baby Jeremy" for the next 4+ months.

Homemadearmy · 07/09/2019 17:30

Poor ds 3 was without a name for 6 weeks. I hated all OH suggestions and he wouldn't agree to anything I picked. The only name we both liked didn't suit ds. After 6 weeks I caved and went with his name choice. It was 2 years before I could say his name without cringing.

Coyoacan · 07/09/2019 17:38

I have friends that still hadn't named their baby after six months. They eventually put names in a hat and let her choose.

I only ever had one child, but I have names for at least ten.

sheshootssheimplores · 07/09/2019 17:39

I did find naming DS2 hard because my OH vetoed so many names!! Maybe it’s the men holding up the process!

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