Youtuber exploiting his severely autistic daughter - please help

[username108]

There is a channel on youtube called FatheringAutism, which is based in the USA. The Dad has a severely autistic teenage daughter and he films her daily life- including distressing meltdowns. As an autistic person, it is really upsetting to see him exploit his daughter. He is making a fortune and has just bought a huge house with a pool etc. He apparently quit his job a few years ago to do this youtube thing full time as he obviously saw that it would earn him a fortune.

What concerns me is that a lot of his supporters are vulnerable people who send him money via paetreon and all these other platforms. A lot of autistic people have commented about how they don't like what he is doing and he basically tells them their opinions aren't relevant (despite claiming to raise autism awareness!).

So, I need your help. They have just been nominated for an award called the WEGO health awards. I have just tweeted the CEO of the WEGO health awards and expressed my thoughts, and I'm wondering if anyone else will do the same? I really don't want this guy (Fatheringautism) to be given a platform for autism advocacy when he continually exploits people who are vulnerable, including his poor daughter. You can tweet or email the CEO - his name is Jack Barrette.

NT children are involved in making money all the time, Samcro, I mean, hell, Gordon Ramsay's daughter had her own show when she was still a minor. I've watched, I don't see where Abbie is not being treated with dignity.

@Samcro, if you haven't seen it, i don't see how you can make a judgement on whether it exploits her or not really.

@Samcro but children are used to make money all the time - even NT ones.

At least Abbie's family are fundraising for her future - for her medical care, her caring requirements and to house and look after her once they've gone or once they become too old to care for her any longer.

I think this makes people uncomfortable because it shows the reality of raising a severely disabled child and some people still think it should be something kept behind closed doors.

I haven’t watched any, never even heard of it b4 this. But the locking the child in their room at night - I find totally acceptable if there is a chance she will leave her room and hurt her self, I personally opted for bells on my ds door as I’m a pretty light sleeper anyway. I also wouldn’t dismiss the parents saying they’re saving for her future - it’s terrifying to have a child who will always need care and know you won’t always be there to give it. I honestly don’t know how I feel about the consent side of things, you’ve been framed is full of small children, again the parents get paid, is it so bad if the money helps the child?

The daughter doesn't even notice the filming

Oh, THAT's ok then @PenguinPop ...

FFS. Have you not had the notion of informed consent explained to you before?

The parents give consent though,how do people feel about say " something special " on BBC the disabled children on there can't give consent either when the BBC were filming at my sons special school, I gave consent ,for them to film him .

messolini9

FFS. Have you not had the notion of informed consent explained to you before?

Did you get your child's consent before giving them vaccinations? (Starts at just weeks old btw).

Sometimes it is up to the parent to make the best decision for the child. This is the best decision for Abbie. It gives her 2 full time parents at home, many therapists, and full transparency of her care. If she was put in to the care of social services, how much oversight of her care would there actually be and how could any of us know if she wouldn't be actually worse off in an underfunded and overstretched system?

Agree with PP. The UK doesn't provide the care severely autistic children need. They leave us to it. Good insurance in the USA most likely provides more!

We exist. Hidden away. That's it. It's fucking piss poor. No one sees the reality. No one gives a fuck, and here is the OP trying to get people to keep it even more behind closed doors. Out of sight out of mind.

FFS. Have you not had the notion of informed consent explained to you before?

Did you get your child's' consent before getting them vaccinated? Before choosing their school or nursery? Before deciding to brush their teeth or hair? Before deciding to feed them five a day?

Children are not capable of giving consent. Their parents (or legal guardians) make decisions for them that are deemed in their best interests. In the cases of disabled children, this can continue right into adulthood.

Abbie's parents need to find a way to fund her care - both today and in the future when they're no longer here. Good on them for doing their best to do support their child.

DH is one of 9 children and the youngest child (a girl) was severely autistic. She was non-verbal and also had to be locked in at night for safety. Sadly she died recently in her 30s. His parents wrote and published a book about her and what it was like to raise her. They made money from the sale of the book. Isn’t that the same thing? I don’t see anything wrong with that.

No one gives a fuck, and here is the OP trying to get people to keep it even more behind closed doors. Out of sight out of mind.

That's exactly how it feels and how this reads to me.

The people talking about informed consent and lack of consent, really dont understand the issue, imo.

My ds disnt consent to be diagnosed. He didnt consent to the school I chose for him. Or the techniques we learned to help him (which incidentally I found on mnand the widee internet). He doesnt consent to going to the supermarket today. He is having a bad day but he has to come. So I have to go through my list of ways to get him out without a meltdown, because we need food.

He probably wont consent to a bath tonight, so come 3pm I will be cycling through my list yet again. Because he has to be bathed.

Do people who talk about consent, realise that all children do things everyday they havenr consented to. Do you believe that taking a disabled child or adult on a day trip, is wrong. Because that person can not consent to being out in public?

Consent for all children is difficult to navigate. Consent for people with some disabilities is difficult to navigate at any age.

Parents, on the whole, are trying to do what they feel is best. Wether we agree or not isnt the point. These parents are clearly trying to do what THEY feel is best for their child in the long run. But for some reason people dont feel that these particular parents have the right to consent for their for their kids.

If a parent isnt doing what best, there are things in place. OP says SS have already been out. There was clearly nothing to worry about. Because they wwrent locking their child in their room and they are still the guardians of their child.

Which parents are allowed to handle consent for their children. I can imagine most people on here would not be happy with someone trying to tell them, they can no consent on their children's behalfs. That they can not but safe guards in place to keep their kids safe.

How many people here have used baby gates? How would you feel if SS came to visit because you have been accused of locking your child in their room?

What absolutely nonsense you’re talking. Seriously. Abbie is severely autistic, non verbal, doesn’t understand danger so of course they have to do certain things to keep her safe. They have a lot of respite workers and therapists in their home daily (or almost daily maybe) so I’m sure if they where doing something wrong they would have been reported by someone who knows for certain what’s going on, not someone sticking their nose in based on a 15-20 minute video and coming to their own, wrong, conclusions. Asa and Priscilla actually seem like decent parents, always involved with the school and helping other parents. Yes, they’ve recently bought a house, as they keep saying it’s an investment for both of their children’s future. Can’t believe you’re such a busybody who’s tweeting the CEO of an awards thing.

I’ve just watched some videos from the channel and I think you are being unreasonable. I saw no disrespect or exploitation. It must be really hard for them and I bet there are a lot of parents who have autistic children who find their videos helpful.

I think you are being unreasonable her parents are trying to provide for her future and bring awareness

Did you get your child's' consent before getting them vaccinated? Before choosing their school or nursery? Before deciding to brush their teeth or hair? Before deciding to feed them five a day?

As I'm not filming those interactions, or posting them on a public website - no, @adaline.

However, this young girl is going to be an adult one day, & she can never undo the videos that are out there in the public domain. They will follow her for the rest of her life.

Did you get your child's consent before giving them vaccinations? (Starts at just weeks old btw).

Again - no @PenguinPop. Because I didn't film it, & post it publicly for the world to gawp at.

She will be an adult who needs 24/7 care forever, messolini and whose parents will probably die before she does. They are trying to provide for that and have brought a lot of awareness into what it is like to care for a person with severe autism.

@messolini9 what difference does filming it make to consent?

If you read up on ethics,this is a gross abuse.

Anyone who works in ethics would not be happy about the exploitative nature of these videos.

Any dc would be mortified to have their extreme emotions filmed and distriuted to the world.

Her privacy, confidentiality and life have been exploited, and its gross

No,I havent RTFT.

Its clearly an abuse of their power as her parents. I am happy to report this also.

You only have to ask any teen, or child whether it would be ok to film a meltdown and show the world, to know this is as far from ok as it gets.

Who is advocating for this dd . Certainly the parents have no boundaries to protect her.

He doesn’t need her consent. Great that he is doing g his best to Treat her as a normal child. Very refreshing.

But they film.children on Cbeebies " Something special " messolinini and most of the children have significant disabilities do.you object to that programme?

messolini9

I think you are purposely ignoring the lifetime sacrifice her parents are making to care for her. Unless you were in their position, not knowing what was going to become of your child and knowing your child had no meaningful way to communicate their needs, then you really shouldn't judge them. IMO out of all the popular YouTube vloggers out there, this family is the most deserving of any views/money they get. It's like your trying to be upset about something that is ridiculous tbh, many people with disabilities such as Abbie's work in some way, and if this is the way that is easiest for her to have a lifestyle that takes care of her, then that's nothing to be upset about. Think about how society leaves people to handle this condition, lots of people would be forced to commit their child to a residence where their needs may not be met. Tragic mental institutions where people were abused was not that long ago. Parents are trying their best to take care of children with this condition when these are all recent changes in society. Stop putting them down.

And, I will say I have noticed that most attacks against YouTubers comes after a big purchase like a house. Funny that their house was brought up, like Abbie doesn't need a house to live in. It makes me skeptical of the people supposedly outraged on Abbie's behalf. To me it all sounds like jealousy and it is really sick to be jealous of a family with such a severely disabled child. Having autism is no excuse for jealousy, you have no idea if the posters you communicate with have it too. And if you are functioning enough to post on a message board like Mumsnet, then you are not like Abbie at all, you have never met her, and you have no right to speak on her behalf. If I get a benign cancerous mole removed and am cancer free, I am not going to speak on the behalf of someone with a brain tumor who is terminal only having a few days left to live. These are completely different life experiences.

TruthOnTrial

It's unethical to turn a blind eye to severe autism and the effect it has on families. These people have every right to come out of the shadows like everyone else. I bet you people stare at them in public, and I remember watching a vlog when Asa mentioned someone using the "R" word.

That's real life for these people.

They will be stared at regardless. But if it benefits Abbie, it is wrong? If it brings acceptance, it is wrong? If it stops families from feeling isolated, it is wrong?

People need to check their privilege here before talking about a family like this. Until you are in their shoes, do not judge. There are many child celebrities out there. Was it wrong? Was it wrong if it provided for the rest of their lives?

I guess it's only wrong if you're disabled. Then you should be hidden away so the public doesn't feel uncomfortable.

It's unethical to turn a blind eye to severe autism and the effect it has on families. These people have every right to come out of the shadows like everyone else. I bet you people stare at them in public, and I remember watching a vlog when Asa mentioned someone using the "R" word

I guess it's only wrong if you're disabled. Then you should be hidden away so the public doesn't feel uncomfortable

Those are quite some extreme attitudes/words tyere, and quite nasty, especially as you can have no idea of the circumstances we are living through, or how my dc, or family may be suffering with.

I don't think your words are reasonable response at all. Pretty nasty actually.

People need to check their privelege here.

Who do you think you are fgs?!