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Original poster

Youtuber exploiting his severely autistic daughter - please help

245 replies

username108 · 07/09/2019 12:31

There is a channel on youtube called FatheringAutism, which is based in the USA. The Dad has a severely autistic teenage daughter and he films her daily life- including distressing meltdowns. As an autistic person, it is really upsetting to see him exploit his daughter. He is making a fortune and has just bought a huge house with a pool etc. He apparently quit his job a few years ago to do this youtube thing full time as he obviously saw that it would earn him a fortune.

What concerns me is that a lot of his supporters are vulnerable people who send him money via paetreon and all these other platforms. A lot of autistic people have commented about how they don't like what he is doing and he basically tells them their opinions aren't relevant (despite claiming to raise autism awareness!).

So, I need your help. They have just been nominated for an award called the WEGO health awards. I have just tweeted the CEO of the WEGO health awards and expressed my thoughts, and I'm wondering if anyone else will do the same? I really don't want this guy (Fatheringautism) to be given a platform for autism advocacy when he continually exploits people who are vulnerable, including his poor daughter. You can tweet or email the CEO - his name is Jack Barrette.

OP posts:
PenguinPop · 08/09/2019 16:04

TruthOnTrial

And you have no idea about my life or children, hence why I know they will be stared at.

Judging people you don't know and calling them unethical is even more nasty than someone calling you out on the truth. Check yourself.

x2boys · 08/09/2019 16:08

We are all going to.had different opinions but as the parent of a non verbal severely autistic child,im glad people are out there spreading awareness that there is another side of the spectrum that the media don't like to discuss be wise it makes people uncomfortable.

x2boys · 08/09/2019 16:09

Because*

mamaofboyss · 08/09/2019 16:13

Absolutely agree the girl has no confidentiality and simply cannot consent 😩

hittheroadjack1 · 08/09/2019 16:16

Off to check it out before I comment.

Ilikethisone · 08/09/2019 16:18

And neither can she consent to something as simple leaving the house. Where people will she her and stare.

Children dont consent to anything. Any child.

Parents act on their behalf and there is no evidence that these parents are not doing that.

It sounds very much like some people think disabled children should be hidden away.

Loveyou3000 · 08/09/2019 16:30

I disagree with any YouTuber or social media personality putting their child all over the internet when they're too young to give the okay. I'd be mortified if my parents had documented my potty training adventures and tantrums all over YouTube for millions of people to view. And no, I don't post my own child online. He talks about her going through puberty, it's wrong. There are some proper weirdos out there and he's happy for them to view his child online like that. There's a reason YT makes you turn off comments for videos with kids in them if you want to remain monetised and it's because of the disgusting comments

Loveyou3000 · 08/09/2019 16:34

@ Ilikethisone, the Internet is forever. Leaving the house is very different to thousands and millions of YouTube views. No I don't think disabled people should be hidden away, my issue is having her (and any other child YouTube 'star') business posted for anyone to see often very personal business, why do you think this girl deserves to have her private life broadcasted to the world just because she can't say no?

PenguinPop · 08/09/2019 16:45

Loveyou3000

Did you know the vast majority of help I found was from the internet? When you pay a private consultant (£150 including Bupa for 1 visit), or even private speech therapy (£100 for 1 session) they do not have the time and resource to teach parents to the level that YouTube does. Also, parents do not have unlimited sources of funds to help their children. The NHS cannot help adequately because of demand/waitlists.

Fathering Autism taught me how to turn our old iPad in to an AAC device. I have learned makaton from parents who have used it on YouTube in real life scenarios. I have learned that if I need to take on a large task, how to approach and break it down in to steps.

You guys are seriously bad mouthing something that has helped thousands of children with no voice. Abbie benefits. This is win win and it's far more important and worthy of attention than make up tutorials or clothing hauls. This is not Toddlers and Tiaras, this is just showing a teen girl living her normal life. There would be no difference if you saw her at Tesco's.

Jubba · 08/09/2019 17:00

I’ve not heard o them and so watches a few videos. I didn’t see anything bad personally and I hate social media.

They seem to show incredible love to her.

Ilikethisone · 08/09/2019 17:04

@Loveyou3000 if you read the thread I am not entirely comfortable with any family putting all their children's lives on youtube.

However, the objection from the OP is based on only the fact that she is disabled. So, yes you are saying that disabled children should be hidden away and not allowed on the internet. Is there a reason you or the OP are not campaigning against the BBC for filming disabled children?

Or any channel for showing any children at all. Its legal that their parents consent in their behalf.

Do you campaign against 'mummy bloggers' also? They are consenting in their children's behalfs too.

The OP also lied. There were not visited because they locked their child in their room they have a baby gate. Many people do. Lots in the op is misleading. And smacks of someone trying to gain support for a campaign of harassment.

Parents try to do their best. These parents are trying to do their best. Theres no evidence to the contrary.

Yet these parents are being singled out. Why?

timshelthechoice · 08/09/2019 17:06

Gotta love those ethics that pay the bills, hire therapists, provide wages for carers, purchase homes that are more suitable for people with special needs . . .

x2boys · 08/09/2019 17:58

Exactly !ike,the BBC film Disabled children every day but that's fine according to many ,many mumsnetters because their non Disabled children "love something special"and it teaches them "makaton" but a parent of a,disabled child filming their life is wrong Hmm

timshelthechoice · 08/09/2019 18:04

It's even more terrifying in this era of UC and PIP, massive funding cuts to social care by councils, ATUs (mostly privatised, often found to be abusing patients or even negligent or complicit in their deaths). FFS, give your heads a wobble!

TruthOnTrial · 08/09/2019 18:10

Judging people you don't know and calling them unethical is even more nasty than someone calling you out on the truth. Check yourself.

Ethics are not nasty

You go check yourself before you go round slanderig people! Rude!

PenguinPop · 08/09/2019 18:19

TruthOnTrial

Ethics are not nasty

You go check yourself before you go round slanderig people! Rude!

Look in the mirror. You're the one calling them unethical when they are not. They have sacrificed their WHOLE lives. They didn't have to. They could have given her to social services. You're the one slandering them, but you don't like anyone calling you out and that IS actually rude. Check yourself, judging people doing their best for their disabled child that you don't know is what's actually nasty and unethical. HTH.

TruthOnTrial · 08/09/2019 18:23

I am sorry, but you seem to be stewing for a fight.

I call it unethical to broadcast private lives for those who cannot have a say in that. I will continue to call it so, regardless of all that other stuff you've dragged in to supoort your argument.

Its crass and gross to subject a child's life to worldwide scrutiny; regardless of any so-called 'justifications' excuses

Again, you have no idea of our circumstances.

PenguinPop · 08/09/2019 18:32

TruthOnTrial

If you walk the walk then you already know for a fact that there is worldwide scrutiny regardless of vloggers. I do. That's how I know. We cannot do normal things as a family, having twins who cannot communicate. Imagine us trying to do anything when out and about, knowing we are playing roulette if they react badly and we will be stared at. Let people on YouTube desensitise the public to people like us. I would much rather that happen, then to go back to the old days when I remember seeing kids (like mine) in school being mocked and called the "R" word.

Lots of people want to act outraged on Abbie's behalf, but Abbie is actually benefiting and if it's not wrong to put neurotypical people in a vlog, then it's not wrong for a family who have an autistic child either. What you are suggesting is to banish them, make them taboo and take us back to the days (such as when I was in school) that they would be made fun of. Not cool.

ReanimatedSGB · 08/09/2019 18:38

I have no opinion one way or the other on this particular Youtuber, but the OP sounds like one of those tiresome stickybeaks who get negatively obsessed with high-profile individuals and embark on campaigns of harassment via social media.

TruthOnTrial · 08/09/2019 18:42

I don't want to continue this. You sound aggressive and angry.

All I'm saying is the end doesn't justify the means, and I wont agree with you, no matter what you accuse me of.

PenguinPop · 08/09/2019 18:50

TruthOnTrial

The aggressive one is the one who attacks a family and calls them unethical on a public forum, saying they are putting their daughter up to scrutiny. But if that person had even 1% of the life experience that this family had, then she would know that they will face scrutiny no matter where they go in public. The only way out of this is to lock themselves up at home and never go out (which happens to MANY families under these circumstances, I assure you).

That's why those posts are not valid. Because they can be seen as bullshit by any family going through this who has been stared at and judged in public for having a severely disabled child. So yes, it annoys me. It annoys me that these families get ALL of the judgment and none of the help.

TruthOnTrial · 08/09/2019 19:00

Yeah,like I say,enough already. You have made a lot of accusations, unfairly, and its not unreasonable to question the ethics of this situation.

I am not fighting with you over this.

Ilikethisone · 08/09/2019 19:03

@TruthOnTrial so you disagree with children being on TV at all.

PenguinPop · 08/09/2019 19:03

TruthOnTrial

Look in the mirror. If you want to stop digging your hole, then stop. Saying people are unethical or aggressive makes you no saint in this.

Ilikethisone · 08/09/2019 19:04

Questioning the ethics is one thing. You have accused this family of being unethical.

If anyone has studied ethics this is one of the type of situations that is debated hotly and reveals that ethics are not black and white.