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Original poster

Youtuber exploiting his severely autistic daughter - please help

245 replies

username108 · 07/09/2019 12:31

There is a channel on youtube called FatheringAutism, which is based in the USA. The Dad has a severely autistic teenage daughter and he films her daily life- including distressing meltdowns. As an autistic person, it is really upsetting to see him exploit his daughter. He is making a fortune and has just bought a huge house with a pool etc. He apparently quit his job a few years ago to do this youtube thing full time as he obviously saw that it would earn him a fortune.

What concerns me is that a lot of his supporters are vulnerable people who send him money via paetreon and all these other platforms. A lot of autistic people have commented about how they don't like what he is doing and he basically tells them their opinions aren't relevant (despite claiming to raise autism awareness!).

So, I need your help. They have just been nominated for an award called the WEGO health awards. I have just tweeted the CEO of the WEGO health awards and expressed my thoughts, and I'm wondering if anyone else will do the same? I really don't want this guy (Fatheringautism) to be given a platform for autism advocacy when he continually exploits people who are vulnerable, including his poor daughter. You can tweet or email the CEO - his name is Jack Barrette.

OP posts:
pikapikachu · 07/09/2019 16:41

I agree that there are too many children on Instagram making money for their parents when they can't consent.

On the other hand I can understand why the parents want to make money and how a realistic vlog will make others feel better if they are struggling with their children with autism. For example they might feel reassured that their child's meltdowns are like X's. Or they might feel reassured seeing how Y reacts to his DD's meltdowns.

I am not going to watch the channel as that will make more money for the YouTuber. Have you thought about not watching/subscribing so that he doesn't make money from you?

Strongecoffeeismydrug · 07/09/2019 16:43

I totally agree with you !
I have a severely autistic son and he has no way of giving his consent (not that I would want to film him anyway) and I my opinion it's exploitation 😢

LoreleiRock · 07/09/2019 16:51

Her therapies are funded by the state/insurance. please tell me which state they live in and who their insurance is with, because I am sure All American want some of that. It’s absolute bullshit by the way.

AnaisB · 07/09/2019 17:04

I’m terrified of the UK moving to a healthcare system that involves people having to use social media to pay for care/therapy/treatment/medication.

sweetiepie1979 · 07/09/2019 17:12

I found the episodes heart warming I think they are a lovely warm happy family doing their best for Abbie. They don’t show any of her meltdowns they turn the camera off and then talk about it later what they did right and wrong in the situation I thought it was enlightening it made me smile I learnt a lot and thought what a great Dad he was!

I didn’t think about the most thing at all I don’t care how much they get I only care that they love her and she is a lovely happy girl.
So no OP.

sweetiepie1979 · 07/09/2019 17:13

Most= I meant money

BrendasUmbrella · 07/09/2019 17:15

This family says constantly that they are saving the money they earn for their daughter's future.

Yes, they all say that, don't they? "We're exploiting the kids for their future financial security! And memories!" They've just found an easy way to make a packet. I've never watched a YouTube family where the parents weren't scumbags.

FuckFacePlatapus · 07/09/2019 17:16

Mind your own business @username108

Original poster
username108 · 07/09/2019 17:26

It's not Abbie's job to educate other people about autism. Fuckface Haha, no. They put their lives out there for the whole world to see, no I won't mind my own business.

OP posts:
sweetiepie1979 · 07/09/2019 17:30

You have succeeded in making me watch another episode OP.

RozHuntleysStump · 07/09/2019 17:33

I used to lock my son in his room at night. Otherwise he would throw things at defenceless sleeping people. What else could I do? I told his social worker I was doing it though. Eventually, I decided that it was better that everyone else lock him out of their rooms rather than him in and things eventually got better. Just saying because until you've had to look after someone with serious difficulties, you can't appreciate the things you have to do to get through the day.

sweetiepie1979 · 07/09/2019 17:34

Also maybe fuckface has a point
If you don’t like it stop advertising it.
Or think about it in a different way a less cynical money grabbing nasty way ...

Aprillygirl · 07/09/2019 17:38

You sound a touch jealous of them op. Are you? Or perhaps it’s the opposite and it is your job to recruit more subscribers? If so, you’ve gained a new one in me so well done.

stucknoue · 07/09/2019 17:41

I'm uncomfortable with the lack of consent to be filmed though this is no different to the plethora of baby shows on TLC of course. We have to remember that healthcare isn't free in the USA, the father is doing his best for his daughter (in his opinion). I have an autistic daughter (higher functioning) and she too was uncomfortable when I just showed her it but also understands the need to both earn money and raise his daughter, this allows him not to worry

Ilikethisone · 07/09/2019 17:43

It's not my sons job to educate people.

However,.my best friends kids and the other kids we know have all been edicated from being around him. All my friends kids now understand his autisim. Makes it easier for him and the kids they go to school with who have autisim, because they are already aware of it.

They have some understanding of autisim and my best friends eldest in particular has been praised for the understanding things she has done for 2 class mates with autisim.

If I could do something like that on a large scale, I think I might.

HugsAreMyDrugs · 07/09/2019 18:11

The OP has autism guys. Perhaps they were wrong to start this thread but there is no need to be complete dicks to her.

cricketballs3 · 07/09/2019 18:22

we have had to "learn" ourselves on how to live given DS2 is now 20, if this channel was around or similar when he was younger, not toilet trained etc than I would have definitely watched it as it did/does feel like we are living in a bubble and not connected to the real world.

I understand what you are saying about consent however it's through vlogs like this that awareness is raised, solidarity is formed, acceptance of differences is slowly being made.

Our main fear is what will happen to DS2 when we are no longer around/able to be his advocates and this is with the knowledge of having the NHS/state available so god knows how scared of the future theyare in the US

timshelthechoice · 07/09/2019 19:26

I’m terrified of the UK moving to a healthcare system that involves people having to use social media to pay for care/therapy/treatment/medication.

Have you seen how much support and care people who have autism and their carers get here in the good ol' UK? Because we're already there with having to pay for treatment/care/therapy and medication in MANY areas, most of them in fact. You just don't see it unless you live in the world of carers and their community.

Spaceprincess · 07/09/2019 20:17

Sadly in America family can consent for family members who don't have capacity to do so, and can apply to be guardians of adults with learning disabilities and continue to make their decisions for them.

OwlBeThere · 07/09/2019 21:16

They bought that ‘massive house’ for the purpose of either having somewhere a caregiver can live when they are dead, or for Abbie to live semi independently in should she ever be able to, or for her brother to sell and finance her care. It’s called planning for the future when you have a severely autistic child to consider. My son is relatively ‘high’ functioning and I can only dream of providing that kind of future for him. Their vlogs are about more than just Abbie, but about them as a family. I don’t see anything in what they post that is cruel or demeaning to her. If she pushes the camera away, they stop filming.
The discussion of toileting needs matters and is important. I don’t see anything wrong with talking about it. With all due respect, it might not be Abbie’s job to educate, but it’s also not yours to decide for her what’s right.

Ilikethisone · 07/09/2019 22:28

@HugsAreMyDrugs yes, it is worth taking the ops autisim into consideration.

However, it really needs pointing out to the OP that this behaviour is ok. I am not talking about her being uncomfortable with the videos.

I am talking about her claiming they lock their daughter away. The implication that if SS/CPS visited them, they must have done something wrong. The request for mners to contact people and complain, enmasse, to impact these peoples lives, by telling a very biased account of it.

That's really not ok.

Pinga · 07/09/2019 22:38

I watch that channel a lot. They would never ever film and upload Abigail having a meltdown. I don't know tbh about the ethics yay or nay but they absolutely adore her and are brilliant parents of her and her brother. Of all the things to get upset about to do with autism (and Im autistic myself as is my dad and my son) this isn't one of them imho.

timshelthechoice · 07/09/2019 22:52

Sadly in America family can consent for family members who don't have capacity to do so, and can apply to be guardians of adults with learning disabilities and continue to make their decisions for them.

You can do that here, too, for certain people. Sadly there are a lot of people out there who prey upon vulnerable people and there are many vulnerable people who do not realise how vulnerable they are (hence, why they are). It's not a perfect world, unfortunately.

I'm with you, Owl, wish I could also provide that sort of future for my son.

As it is we had to go abroad to get medical treatment for him, he has two co-morbidities that the NHS and CAMHS, well, they just didn't want to know. It was like once he had a HFA diagnosis, everything was just ascribed to that and we were left to it. We were lucky. He is doing really well now, but it's deluded to think it's any better here for a great many people with autism, especially if they also have other conditions or mental health issues.

Just look at the 'AMA: I'm a CAMHS Manager' thread. Loads of parent carers of children with autism who have been left with no support at all.

leomama81 · 07/09/2019 22:55

*If she's exploited, do you think all the other YouTube/Instagram families out there are exploiting their children too?

What about parents who sign their children up for modelling careers or TV adverts?*

I absolutely do, yes. Unless the child is older ie mid teens or beyond and has specifically begged to do it, yes I think it's a massive breach of consent and definitely exploitation if there is money being made.

The fact that this child is severely autistic does make it worse, as she appears to be completely unaware of what is going on, but I personally think all children lack the capacity to consent to everything you mention.

(I also think splashing your children all over FB without their consent - which obviously can't be obtained in any meaningful way until they are at least old enough to use FB themselves- as a PP asked, is wrong).

Samcro · 07/09/2019 22:57

i do wonder if people would have been so "for" This if it was about a nt child.
I am not keen on using disabled children/people to educate nt people.
I haven't watched this and avoid stuff like this as I think people with disabilities should be treated with dignity and not used to make money (unless they choose too)