DS16 staying at girlfriends

[Morag72]

DS16 started dating a girl a few weeks ago. He seems really into her & she regulary comes over to hangout. DS has been a stroppy teenager ever since his GCSEs (he did very well). He seems to be challenging everything we say to him - acting like he’s got the grades now - so he should be able to do whatever he likes. This evening he sent a WhatsApp on our family chat (me, him & my DH) asking if he could stay at his girlfriends. I said - no way - and DH just went nuts - saying I was being petty and that I’m deliberately doing this to annoy him. AIBU - not allowing him to stay the night? By all accounts her parents are “chill” and he thinks we are being weird about something that is normal ??

@lilypips - his values aren’t her values YET. I am Indian and a lot of boys go through this phase due to Indian cultures not allowing the raising of boys correctly. Some may decide they don’t believe in Indian values and that’s that; but most will then emerge into their twenties wanting to marry an Indian woman ‘without a past’ and follow Indian values. Judging by the OP’s posts the boy is immature, desperate for sex, and doing anything he can get away with to get it.

OP on MN people think that if both partiees are consenting and 16+ it's fine. My view is that just because something is legal, doesn't make it desirable.

Agree with this 100%. Why would you encourage overnights with a gf/bf of a few weeks? Seriously? As an adult when I was dating I wasn't spending the night with guys I'd been seeing a few weeks!

Whether or not they're having sex is irrelevant. I would not want to encourage my 16 year old to be having that kind of relationship. Spending nights together is quite intimate and in my view for more committed and serious partnerships.

OP there are many families who don't allow these types of sleepovers, despite what you see on MN. I do see mixed-sex sleepover parties but one-on-one boyfriend/girlfriend spending the night at 16 - honestly that's not done in my circle.

Completely agree edgeofheaven
I wish there had been more boundaries in my family rather than “Ah sure they’re going to do it anyway” No..talk to your children and tell them they don’t have to have sex with everyone they are in a “relationship” with. 16 and seeing someone for a few weeks? No sorry it really doesn’t matter if it’s legal..
Pmsl at pps who had their own homes at 16
Sure ya did.. many girls I went to school with had to leave home at 16 because of abuse. It’s rare that someone leaves home at 16 when they come from a happy home

It's difficult when kids grow up. But just because they say they're not doing something after you've made it apparent you don't agree with them? Chances are they're already doing it and they'd rather just not tell you.