To feel very poor after recent thread

[Clappingforjoy]

Recent thread on here where posters where revealing their income got me really fed up that I must be one of the lowest earners around and it made me feel like failure failure.
Is everybody well off on mumsnet or something where are these people that have to use food banks because all I ever see is people with brand new cars, going on holidays nice houses etc etc i find it mind boggling.

We dont make enough to cover all that goes out.....we are starting to sink.....you are not alone!!!

@clappingforjoy I'm glad you posted this. I can't remember the thread now, but I remember scrolling down to make a comment and thinking 'bloody hell, these people are all rolling in it!' I'm sure lots of low earners like myself were put off commenting for that reason.

It's like that with lots of things on here. You can go on education threads and everyones' kids are going to oxbridge, getting all A stars, grade 9 violin, in the hockey first 11 (or whatever!), on Christmas threads have perfect decorated Christmas trees, have beautiful bedrooms in the post your bedroom photo threads!! Go to the Maldives for the honeymoon etc etc.

But there are plenty of people with all kinds health issues, fertility issues, mental health issues, money issues, special needs, and all the scales in between.

It just can be disheartening if you get on the wrong thread,

I am on a government scheme here in Ireland, I get E225.50 for 19.5 hrs work on a weekly basis.
I lost my job at the start of the economic crash and it has taken me ten years to return to the workforce.Those ten years were hell and, in hindsight, I wish I’d emigrated.
I’ve retrained, again, hopefully for the last time. I’ve met people who’ve had it tougher than me.
I turned my situation around by simply being brazen enough to try something different then determined to make the most of it.
From meeting and talking to people, lots of us always underestimate our abilities.

My DH and I used to be well off but I had to take early retirement due to stress ( and lose a quarter of my pension) and he was made redundant so we are, together, earn less than the median wage. We see other retired couples ‘living the dream’ with endless holidays and a fantastic social life with meals out, theatre trips, mini breaks and conspicuous consumer spending but do not really care. We are happy. Our children are both working and they are good people and we enjoy many free pleasures like walking, gardening and reading.

Money isn’t everything. Health is much more important.

Have you thought about doing NHS care work? I'm not sure what the salary is, but you get unsocial hours pay, good holiday entitlement and some NHS trusts offer paid apprenticeships (sometime to get a degree in nursing). Its still hard work, but I think the culture is better.

I have worked in care and you are treated badly by a lot of homes. I felt like a slave when I worked in care. It was better in the NHS for me and much more professional.

How old are you if you dont mind me asking. Some of the people posting on here will be in their 50's and probably at the top of their field. I'm 37 and on about 25k and I do feel it should be more at my age, but for many people they don't really start earning above the national average until later in life.

When I read mn I read about lots of incredibly rich people but I also read about people who are now comfortable but who have been through some very tough times both financially and emotionally. That gives me hope that my situation can improve too.

Between us, dh & I only earn about £25K, we live in a council house and probably have no chance of ever buying our own home now that we're in our 40s. We also have a lot of debt that costs us £600 pcm (a loan, 2x credit cards, car finance and am overdraft). Looking at it like that, our situation seems dire but we have reduced our debts by half over the last year and, if things keep steady, have another 2.5 years to go until we're debt free. After that, we'll have enough to save as well as live and we'll feel comfortable.

There will always be people who are far better off than you - there will always be people who are far worse off than you (If you doubt that look at today's newspaper)

What you see depends completely on where you look.

I think the saying comparison is the thief of joy is very true. As said by PP very few people are well paid and also have lots of time with their families and the good health to enjoy it - it's usually one or the other. If you can achieve a good work /life that's the optimum aim in my opinion but for some people maximum earnings seem to be their goal whatever the effect on their home life and stress levels. Just do what's right for you and your family as best you can.

I used to be in a high earning/high stress/high no. of hours job and I swapped it for a low pay/low stress/few hours job to prioritise my family.

That income posting chat sounds hideous, I'm glad I missed it!

Money doesn't buy you happiness :)

I am amazed when I see people half my age on twice my money. Massive savings already , the car threads.....

But OP: firstly your life is not screwed for ever. My salary doubled between my 30s and 40d and once you are a bit ahead you keep getting further ahead, with savings, making ends meet etc
Secondly; no shame in being on a low income, no shame at all. Kids can learn the wealth of books and stories from the most skint of parents, any kid is as happy with sausage and mash as carpaccio with beetroot pickle, as long as we are doing our best we should be proud.

I feel poor on here

Also a terrible mother who's kids do enjoy a McDonald's/fruit shoot

Or is it just being normal

You do what you need to do
I lost my NHS job of a decade and started work as a carer because I needed the money to pay my mortgage. Turned out I quite enjoyed it and less stress was nice! It gave me breathing room to not worry about being unemployed. I had spinal surgery though so my back couldn't manage long term and I found another job which is office based. I do 40hrs a week and earn around 22-25k depending on bonus

Oh and I do matched betting to up my income

OP - I work as a midwife and DH has taken early retirement because of health issues.

We have four children as well.

Our lives are dominated by never having quite enough money. You're not alone, I assure you.

I have worked for many years in a job I love and have attained some seniority - but nobody could say it was well-paid.

We are happy though, despite not having much in the bank.

And yes, we've been through very difficult financial crises over the years.

Don't feel bad about your income. It is irrelevant.

I agree with @PurpleTigerLove that despite being low earners we've made our finances work for us.
The household current income is £1500 a month roughly, this is one wage (working 36 hours a week) and a benefits top up. This will only go up by £50 when I return to work if we're lucky. Our mandatory outgoings are £1000. With the remaining £500ish we do two big food shops, a top up each week, and have to buy formula and nappies etc. Because I buy nearly all own brand items, shop in a couple different shops to get the best deals etc our food shops are relatively cheap so we can afford a couple bottles of pop and some treats for my partners lunch. We struggle some weeks but get by. Luckily we aren't in debt, and when we were we lived off of cheap food items to pay it back ASAP (luckily I was pregnant and my cravings were 20p packs of instant noodles and cheap squash).
I hope you manage to clear off some of your debts soon.

I would say I earn a comfortable amount (I haven't disclosed on the forums) but I also work the hours required. I don't have children yet.. 1 on the way, but even with this, I've had work lately that has required me to work from 8.30am-12.30am (16 hours in 1 day) before making the 1 hour journey home and being ready to start on the dot at the same time again the next day... plus some weekend work. I'd love a 40 hour per week job. It doesn't exist in my line of work but I get compensated for the work I do. There are choices we make. I made the choice to work like this for the past 7 years and it's worked for me, others just wouldn't be happy with a regular 70+hour week.

It's a very sad reflection of society when you compare careers with low and high wages. A carer, nurse, social worker, childminder and so many more vital jobs caring for people - enormous responsibility are paid so little compared to footballers, showbiz people or even just people who work in tech or marketing. In my industry a marketing
Director will be on £120k --- it's utterly ludicrous.

I'm sorry you feel so low. As OP said, if only our worth wasn't measured by income 😔

OP, there are certain threads I've learned to stay away from.
The 'how much do you earn' , 'How much do you spend on holidays', 'Can I survive on £200,000 a year' (and you'll always get posters saying it's not enough 😂) and finally, 'how much do you spend on dc for xmas'!

Every one of these ridiculous threads always leave me feeling pretty shit so I now avoid. Its done wonders for my mental health!
It's funny that these sorts of threads are mostly started by wealthy posters. Why the need to (not so stealthily) brag?

Who knows eh?!

Your value as a person is not measured by your salary.

I also know for a fact there are some serious bullshitters around. There was a classic thread where people were posting picture of their bedrooms. Someone posted a very luxurious room, another poster googled it and found it had come from a hotel website . It was complete fiction.

It's a a combination of people being total bullshitters on the internet, people not revealing the whole truth (massive debt etc) and normal people being too ashamed to reveal what they earn because of all the "I only earn 60k what on earth shall I do" idiots. Or the recent "my housing budget is only 250k, I'm so poor" nonsense.

If you work, you're feeding your family and have a rood over your head, be grateful and proud. You're doing better than many in the world.

Shame over money and earnings is total bullshit. I grew up poor and now I'm probably below average but being able to go to the supermarket and buy things without worrying too much is heaven. I will never be ashamed of not being rich.

I should also say, I don't feel poor. I am poor!
I dont need reminding of this fact. My rumbling stomach does that well enough when I'm in bed!
Do yourself a favour. Stay away from the money threads.

I'm poor and have recently used a food bank. I have also been very well off previously and never thought I'd be begging for food. Life circumstances can change at the drop of a hat.

I don't think I saw the thread where people were disclosing their incomes, there must have been a reason for them doing so, I doubt anyone was bragging.

From many of the threads I've read, people struggle with money, some are desperately hard up. There's a good cross section of society on here.

As for me, I'm a retired widow and I'm comfortable. I have been very poor, living from hand to mouth, so I sympathise with others in that position and am appreciative of my income now.

I hope things improve for you, Clappingforjoy. It will!

Bullshitters abound on those threads OP so take it all with a pinch of salt and it is bad manners to ask how much someone earns

To be honest, I wouldn’t believe a word what I read on here. Fair enough there are genuine posters but there are also a lot of people who talk sh**!!