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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this isn't neglect?

131 replies

KadieFae · 06/09/2019 14:46

Popped to the shop leaving baby downstairs. DP upstairs listening out. Not asleep or dead or anything. Baby in playpen. Playing quietly. I was gone less than a minute (shop is essentially next door)

Sounds fine right?

My DM has phoned the SS on me. AIBU?

OP posts:
Schuyler · 06/09/2019 16:56

Don’t tell her anything..at all..ever....
Seriously! Ugh poor you. Try not to worry, nothing will come of the referral.

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 06/09/2019 16:57

She can get into trouble for malicious reporting. They will come you cooperate and tell them exactly what’s happened.

WorraLiberty · 06/09/2019 17:00

wondering if she needed mental health support as her reaction is so abnormal.

I wonder that too Confused

Either that or she's lying to the OP. It's not like SS are going to give a shit.

123bananas · 06/09/2019 17:00

How does she ever expect you to go to the loo if you cannot leave your baby in a playpen for a few minutes with an adult in the house? Absolutely bonkers! NC sounds like a good plan.

Ravenblack · 06/09/2019 17:11

@KadieFae

I hope SS scold her and give her an official warning for wasting their time.

Aprillygirl · 06/09/2019 17:16

What?? This is insane! And totally unforgivable. What an evil cow Shock

CandyLeBonBon · 06/09/2019 17:17

That's batshit

TixieLix · 06/09/2019 17:18

We're all assuming a lot from the OP's first post. She says her DP was upstairs. We don't know if he is the baby's father. We don't know if they even lived together (he may have been visiting). Maybe they've only been together two weeks. Perhaps he's heavily in to drugs. Maybe they've been together a while but he knocks her around a bit. I'm scrabbling here to think of a reason why the mother called SS but unless she had some concerns about the person who was left in charge, it seems a daft thing to do.

KUGA · 06/09/2019 17:22

You clearly have a mother from hell.
I would give her a piece of my mind the cheeky cow.
Also as was said by someone in a post SS won`t be interested.

Original poster
KadieFae · 06/09/2019 17:22

Tixie I am very offended that you have come up with such horrid nonsense there!

OP posts:
Valanice1989 · 06/09/2019 17:22

Of course it's not neglect. There was another adult in the house!

WorraLiberty · 06/09/2019 17:24

Fuck me TixieLix that's quite some overthinking there.

RandomMess · 06/09/2019 17:26

Poor you op, it's shit when you need to go NC Thanks

Sagradafamiliar · 06/09/2019 17:29

She said it's for your own good, well maybe it is in the long term as this could be what you needed to know what a toxic presence she is in your life.

TixieLix · 06/09/2019 17:29

Calm down, I didn't say your DP WAS any of those things. I was struggling to think of any reason why your mother would do such a batshit thing so was throwing out some wild suggestions. I'm sure none of those are applicable and your mother is just completely batshit.

BarbariansMum · 06/09/2019 17:29

Unless Tixie is right Hmm or there was a rottweiler in the room or something (house on fire?) then you could have gone out a lot further than the shop before it became an issue of neglect.

Timandra · 06/09/2019 17:32

We're all assuming a lot from the OP's first post.

No more than any other post on MN.

The OP made the decision to leave her child in the care of another adult. One whom she judged was capable of keeping the child safe. None of your scenarios would make that decision one that required social care intervention, including the one about knocking the OP about.

Kerrywerrywoo1 · 06/09/2019 22:56

Tell her she is disowned form this moment, that’s it, end of.

Trust me when I say if will never ever get better - it will only get worse and you will slowly be driven nuts by her behaviour. To call SS or even ‘threaten’ too is sick - she is sick. And it will get worse so do the sensible thing for everyone’s sake and cut her off. That way she won’t know Jack shit and won’t cause issues because believe me I have seen this with my own mother and it’s amazing what trouble can be caused by snidey phone calls to SS / schools etc etc. Take control no =w before this bat shit bitch realllly causes you problems.

PumpkinP · 06/09/2019 23:17

Sounds odd to me, I can’t help but think there’s more to it. I’m a single parent so leave my baby alone in a different room frequently throughout the day, as do others can’t see someone reporting to ss for that. Bizarre

Tonnerre · 06/09/2019 23:17

he says her DP was upstairs. We don't know if he is the baby's father. We don't know if they even lived together (he may have been visiting).

Why would any of that matter? If he wasn't the father or didn't live there, the fact remains that he was an adult whom OP trusted to be in charge for the minute she was out of the house.

User344772734481882445 · 06/09/2019 23:23

OP, can you give us some more context here? Feel like we are either missing some info about your DP and you that might have got your mum wanting to get you help,or we are missing info about your mum and her backstory and your relationship, or we're missing something else...

sue51 · 06/09/2019 23:31

Your mother is toxic. Low contact or preferably no contact is the way forward.

EmeraldShamrock · 07/09/2019 00:14

Either your DM is deluded or she has a reason for her actions.
It just doesn't make any sense.

dollydaydream114 · 07/09/2019 00:20

@TixieLix Even if any of that lurid speculation was correct, the OP was still gone for less than one minute to a shop 15 steps from her front door, so I don't think anyone would have time to inject the baby with smack and start a fight in that time, do you?

chickenyhead · 07/09/2019 00:34

Ooh ooh @dollydaydream114 is that a challenge? ...

But seriously I think trixie was just trying to rationalise irrational behaviour. It's what we humans do.