To think this isn't neglect?

[KadieFae]

Popped to the shop leaving baby downstairs. DP upstairs listening out. Not asleep or dead or anything. Baby in playpen. Playing quietly. I was gone less than a minute (shop is essentially next door)

Sounds fine right?

My DM has phoned the SS on me. AIBU?

Your DM is toxic! You don’t need to put up with this from her at all! You did nothing wrong! Your only mistake is allowing your toxic Mother any involvement in your life! You need to protect your family now! The only way to do that is to sever all contact with your Mother! She is a very dangerous and controlling woman and you would be choosing to put your family at risk by allowing her to have continued contact!

Social Services will have no interest in your having left your baby in a safe space with her Father to nip to the shops next door! She clearly believes you are incompetent as a parent, she sounds the type to attempt to make you look neglectful/ unstable so that she can have control/ custody of your baby herself! I have read of a case when a narcissistic Mother managed to convince SS that her dd was unfit to be a Mother, she was given full custody of her GC. You need to realise just how dangerous your Mother is!

I've left my DC with their father alone for an entire weekend. Lord knows what your DM would make of that. Your DM is on another planet.

Haven't made it past the first page
Mentioned in passing when I bumped into her today

Why did you mention it if it's nothing? Especially if your mother has form for interfering?

So is leaving a baby asleep upstairs while you’re downstairs also neglect?? Your DM is insane

Having been on the receiving end of a similar mother, please take my advice and block her to fuck. Completely. Expect heightened more frenetic reporting, but DO NOT LET HER INTO YOUR LIFE - she will take your child. I can almost guarantee it.

I take it she hates you? Or does she have some kind of mental health issue? Extreme anxiety maybe?

You may find the stately homes threads in the relationships subforum helpful and supportive for people with toxic family members.

I’d put money on her having not really called SS. It sounds like she is trying to undermine you and make you feel unduly worried about your parenting.

I wonder what she was like as a parent when you were little? Do you think SS were involved with her and she had a hard time of it? Be very wary of her as it sounds like she has issues that she is taking out on you.

what !
she sounds totally nuts and stop telling her stuff

Where you went and how close it is is irrelevant here, your baby was left in the house, perfectly safe with the other parent!

Your own mother reported you to SS for THAT? Just,wow.

Is DP not your DD's father? Does your DM not approve of DP and think he's some kind of insane child molester or something? I can't think of any other reason why she'd do something this insane otherwise.

Thanks for confirming what I already knew, think its time to go NC. :(

Thanks for the replies everyone

It's possible the conversation was like this:

OP: Hi
Evil mother: Where's the baby?
OP: At home with DP
Evil mother: I'm reporting you to Social Services, it's for your own good.

If the mother is in her 40's, she is still treating the OP like a child, incapable of being a mother. Ironic thing in my case is that my mother destroyed my life as a child and right into adulthood. She's a cunt of the highest order of cunts. She's the Queen of cunts.

Watch your back OP. She may well have reported you. She'll have made up some nefarious allegations against your DP too. I could write a book on this shit. Watch your back and cover your ass and BLOCK, BLANK, ELIMINATE HER from your life. She will only cause you harm.

She doesn’t need to have a MH problem to be a nasty carnaptious bastard.

You were not at all unreasonable as your husband was in and listening. What's the matter with your mother? SS will laugh at this report!

I don't quite know how the relationship with your mother is going to come back from this.

Having made a report to SS myself, I can't see how she got any further than actually making the call.

The person logging it would have told her she was being unreasonable.

So either a) she's lying and hasn't called them b) she did call them and they told her to do one or c) she called them and embellished the story

I would go NC with her. Unbelievable!

I wouldn't leave an awake baby in a separate room and floor to an adult for any period

Do you take your baby into the bathroom with you every time you go for a poo, then?

Either she’s mad or there’s a lot more to this story.

What did she want SS to do? Take the baby... give you a bit of verbal... leave the bastard? Seriously she needs a visit from the grow-up fairies !

Your mother reported you to social services for leaving your child in its play pen whilst you went to the shop and the child father was in the house?

Is there a back story op? Is this literally it? This is all she's reported you to social services for?

Wow.
I'm not an expert o family law but maybe others will know,
Is there anyone you could report her to for making such malicious allegations?
is it something that the Police or solicitors would take seriously?
I would absolutely fight back against this, mother or not.

How did that conversation go though? Hi mum, I went to the shop yesterday for some biscuits. Oh how nice, did you take the baby with you?