To be annoyed that in-laws won't spell dd name correctly.

[emzeexb]

Okay, my DD name is Sarah. It's on her birth certificate " Sarah
But my mother in law and sister in laws refuse to type it like this and put it like "saara" Always. When I asked why, they said "this is the correct way, it's the Arabic way, you spelt it like the English and we won't use that".

Am I being unreasonable to be so annoyed and I don't even know what to do? Because I can't force them.. I guess I just have to wait for my actual Sarah to correct them one day. I'm hoping for a "Granny why do you spell my name wrong" situation one day.

That’s just plain rude. I would keep correcting them.

I'd go with doing the same to her 'look sarah it's granny'
As for mama - that's for a mother, not grandmother 🙄

I’m a lone voice in this I think but I wouldn’t care. So they have their own Arabic spelling of her name...let them. You spell it Sarah, Sarah will spell it Sarah, everyone else will spell it Sarah throughout her life. What does it actually matter if her dad’s family choose not to? It’s a battle of wills you don’t have to win. It’s of no consequence either way.

P.s I have three kids, two of which have unusual(ish) names that are often misheard and usually misspelled. None of us worry about it at all.
Misspelled names are not an issue unless you’re looking for things to create over.

I know they’re insistent in this case but they won’t win...her name is Sarah, the rest of the world will know her as Sarah. They can write their spelling in her birthdays cards and so on...and who knows? Perhaps she’ll even find it sweet.

Stop worrying about this...give it the attention it merits, which is none.

I was fully prepared for this to be we chose to spell it Emmalee and they want to use Emily type thing, i.e taking a classic name and spelling it in the most creative way possible, but Sarah and Sara are both completely normal. I think both are well known as a correct way to spell it, with neither being odd/weird. It is nice to know there is an Arabic spelling but what it boils down to is Sarah is the correct way to spell her name, and for another adult to be so arrogant they cannot accept that is a very sad thing.

But also, ultimately, harmless. As an isolated sticking point it’s of no import. Nothing bad will ever happen as a result of a misspelled name.

I'd water-off-a-duck's-back this. As PP said, it's not going to influence her long-term.

Sarah's a lovely name which has got very unusual and is due a revival :)

I think it’s more annoying because there is a suggestion of control. They will do what they want irrespective of how you feel, if they had said “in our culture xxx means Sarah, so you mind if we use it when she comes here” you may have been more receptive. But they’re not. They are insisting that is her name, and it isn’t.

I would also go with insisting SIL is Auntie xxx (nearest English version of her name) and Teta is not only NOT called mama but she is called Granny, I hate the word Granny, it sounds so old.

when you translate from Arabic (or Urdu which uses the same/similar writing form) the way names are spelt in English are -shall we say -fluid?
Hence, you will find the same names will be spelt in different ways -much as names are here -as for instance Anne & Ann, Jayne & Jane - she just being controlling - ignore

I'd roll with it - the control thing won't work if you don't let it control you - try out some other variations while you're at it - Sally, Saz, Sorcha.... could be on a different one each time they visit :)

It's not true that Sarah will find it cute or that it doesn't matter. It makes you feel like absolute shit that relatives don't seem to like you enough to get the most basic thing about a person, a name, right. Makes you aware of bigotry at a very young age. And that you're being used as a way to dig at your parents and being dismissed all at the same time.
When I lived about, no one had issues with my name. I never had issues with anyone else's name, always made the effort. Didn't just go around calling people a made up, easier for me name.
It's unacceptable.

I’d be mad. Really mad. That’s just plain stubborn ignorance!

If it were me I would say "we're not going to speak (txt) about DD until you can spell her name correctly" And leave it at that.

maybe - it is possible, even likely that there is an element of control in this...but honestly by reacting OP would be acknowledging there is an authority to rail against.
Rise far above and treat it as the nothing it is.

Apart from all other reasons, Sarah isn’t spelled Saara in Arabic. It is a transliteration of the Arabic script that can be written in various ways.

Nothing bad will ever happen as a result of a misspelled name.

See I disagree with this. If the Op has more children and their names are spelt the same by both the OP and her DH and these other family members it could make Sarah feel like she is not important.

Her name is her name and whilst its acceptable that sometimes others will misspell it throughout her life her own family are deliberately choosing to spell it wrong. If I was Sarah I'd feel like I didn't matter enough to them for them to get it right.

My name is Arabic and so has lots of spellings in English because it is from another alphabet! None of them are right or wrong. So how can Saara be more correct than Sarah?! Makes no sense.

I would find that irritating, although one of my teachers in primary used to spell my name differently, I lived it, adopted it and have used it ever since 😁 it just looks weird the other way to me now. Still they should be respectful of your choice!

I had this from my MIL let's say my daughter is called Abbie which is on her birth certificate and is named and known as Abbie by me and everyone. So MIL calls her Abigail!! because it's my daughters proper name apparently 😡 also her friend called her Abigail too!! and every card she writes with her name she will either put Abigail or spell it wrong by putting a 'Y' instead of 'ie'
Continue spelling the names wrong I have and I also shorten her daughter sons names when I ask how they are 😆

I'd start referring to MIL and Grandad and SILS as Uncle. Or pic different names.

If anything comes in the post or is handed to you with the ridiculous spelling ask them where the car / present is for your dd.

Finally I'd make up a superstition or a fairy story.

Something along the lines of a grandmother who used a different name for her grand daughter and every time she did a spot would appear on her bum. Eventually there was no bum left without spots so the spots (you could have boils, that might be more in keeping with a fairy story) start to appear on gran's legs and tummy and then on more and more of her body until the day she is just a giant spot and unable to kissg reh rand daughter. This is when she melts into a pile of pus.

For a superstition how about when a relative says a name wrong a spirit has the opportunity to ... well you could go for possession, or maybe just a naughty spirit that steals things or hides them. For this to work you will need to take or hide something every time you visit. Things she won't notice until you have gone, an ornament or a teaspoon that turns up in her hand bag, or yours.

Dont see the problem really. The first half of my Christian name is Greek the second is biblical, my Maternal Grandparents (Greek) would use both names my Scottish Granny refused to use the biblical part of my name as it was, in her eyes Catholic ! My elder Sister refused to use any of my names and called me Pauleen which is nothing like my name. As long as the little one knows she is loved that is all that really matters

YANBU.
They are being very disrespectful.
Sound like a pair of obnoxious tits.
Don`t let them bother you OR when DD receives a card correct the spelling.
I bet that would piss them right off.HAPPY DAYS

I would find this hurtful.
I think it’s different if it’s a term of endearment, but that’s not what’s happening here, the grandparent is trying to correct you. It’s just disrespectful. I would feel ridiculed and take real umbrage to it.

When visiting in-laws in Italy, because the English version of my name is hard for them to pronounce, I am called the Italian version instead. I feel honoured. But if I was called it in England, weirdly I'd be pissed off. I don't know why?

View them like Trigger and Rodney in Only Fools.