To feel so sad for this middle child,

[RoryGlory]

Older and youngest have the same dad.

Middle has to watch both his siblings leave to go stay with their dad at the weekends.

Mother doesn’t even know who the middle child’s father is.

If 'dad' was half a man, he'd take on no2 as his own anyway

Oh that is very sad :(

My eldest and youngest have the same dad. We’re all working out absolutely fine, don’t be so judgemental

Presumably he gets his mum to himself for the weekend? He’s not left on the kerb until they get back is he?

What are you doing about it? Or you're just sitting there feeling sad and judging the mother?

He probably loves having 1-1 time with his mum. Just because the other 2 go with Dad it doesn't mean they automatically have more fun!, strange post OP.

Probably loves the 1:1 time with Mum.

I do get where you're coming from OP. Other posters are lying if they say no young child would feel sad seeing their siblings go off on the weekend to see their fathers knowing that they don't have one of their own.

It is what it is. I doubt middle DC will have big issues around this if he/she is from a loving family. Don’t judge. It’s not the norm but the norm isn’t always perfect either. If anything, middle child gets quality one-to-one time with mum. Still, dad should take all three kids. My brother used to take his ex’s third DC (with her second husband) for weekends with their 2 DCs. They don’t now because they’re all in their 20s/30s.

I do think that is hard for the child.

Those particular circumstances are unusual, but there are many families where the parental involvement varies between siblings.

The idea that the absence of a father is compensated for by 1:1 with mother is quite bizarre.

All of this is projection in your part isn't it? The Dad might have offered to have him/ tried for access and the court or the boy or the Mum said No. the boy might be glad to see siblings go. You are judging them when you don't know what's going on behind their door.

The idea that the absence of a father is compensated for by 1:1 with mother is quite bizarre.

Why bizarre? It simply is what it is. I mean, what else can mum do?

I've been slapped down for saying this before, which is fair enough because I know I'm completely unreasonable but... this is why I've never wanted to have any more kids. I have 2 with the same dad. I absolutely do not want anymore because I don't want children with different dad's. I just don't think it's OK and I wouldn't want to end up with some seeing their dad and some not, or have any one feel like they weren't getting the experience the others had.
I know lots of people have children by multiple fathers and it works for them and that's fine. But for me, I won't and it's because I would feel the way the OP feels just watching it.

What are the ages of the children?

YABU. I was the sibling left behind while the other 3 went to their dad. I loved having my mum to myself and being able to watch what I wanted on TV. We also would go on days out while they were out because my mum could afford it with just one kid.

It simply is what it is. I mean, what else can mum do?

No one is saying that the mum can do more. But that doesn't equal compensation. Posters are kidding themselves if they think it's impossible to feel left out or upset when your other two siblings get to have a dad and you don't

TheVanguardSix
I completely understand that there may not be an alternative and "it is what it is" but that doesn't mean to say it wont affect the child.

I'm a single parent and my dd has very little contact with her df. She has masses of 1:1 time with me and her life "is what it is". But she has without doubt been affected by the actions of her father and has had to deal with the resulting sense of rejection and other emotions. Her relationship with me is completely separate to that.

Situation I know of that similar the two that go away envy the one whose left because they get mum all to themselves and stay at home.

If 'dad' was half a man, he'd take on no2 as his own anyway

Do you know the man, the woman or the circumstances of their family? Maybe she had an affair, why should he then take responsibility for the child?

Maybe she had an affair, why should he then take responsibility for the child?

What if she did? he obviously came back and took the child on once as his own, and created a third.

@WhatsMyPassword
Assuming that he knew about the affair before dc3 was conceived

if the dad was half a man, hed take on no2 as his own anyway

Bullshit. He's under exactly no obligation to take on another man's child. And there's no evidence he ever "took the child on". Maybe he and the mum had a drunken 1 night stand at some point and conceived dc3?

Well, she's no better than she should be, is she? .

Is that what you were after, OP? Keep your nose out tbh.

What if she did? he obviously came back and took the child on once as his own, and created a third.

Why obviously? Maybe the mother likes to sleep around and he's the only one that's owned up and they've never been "together" as such? Maybe he is a prick and could step up to the mark? maybe she was raped? All sorts of scenarios that we know nothing about, nothing obvious here.

I agree that it's quite sad but hopefully middle child's mother does her best to make him feel wanted and secure.