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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should i have a word with school

92 replies

Anonmummyoftwo · 04/09/2019 16:30

Dp thinks i should mind my own but i do want to speak to school so asking here. Taking ds to school this morning and stopped a shop seen a mum with kids in same school she was getting bits for lunch for them. All parents were giving a list or what kids can not have in school the normal no fizzy pop no sweets ect but in big black bold writing it say no nuts that a child with a nut allergy was attending. I seen this mum put a snikers bar in both her dc lunch bags. When her oldest said mum we cant have nuts or chocolate she just unwrapped it and said well eat it fast at lunch so they dont see. Shop was busy and a few mums seen. My ds is in one of her dc class and i asked him dose she normally have things like at at lunch and he said yes. My dp thinks that i should mind my own but i think i should have a word with a teacher. What if the child with the allergy comes into contact with one of the kids. So should i have a word with school

OP posts:

WhatsMyPassword · 04/09/2019 16:33

Your DP is correct. You will be that parent if you go in like the lunch box police.

TulipsTwoLips · 04/09/2019 16:34

This is the responsibility of the lunchtime staff, not you. I’d leave it.

worriedaboutmygirl · 04/09/2019 16:38

Disagree. I would email the school to check if the nut ban includes peanuts (they are not technically a nut). If it does, I would flag that I’d seen a parent putting snickers in a lunchbox so that school can check/recommunicate. If my kid had life threatening anaphylaxis, I’d prefer it if someone was being a busybody.

Bitchfeatures · 04/09/2019 16:38

I would report it, if it was anything else (chocolate, fizzy drinks etc) I would say to leave it and keep your nose out but, not with a nut allergy.
I've seen a family member have a reaction and it is not pretty, i can be deadly.

Birdshitbridgegotme · 04/09/2019 16:39

I'm not 'that's mum by a long shot but I agree you should tell the school. Like you pointed out what if the child with the allergy comes into contact with it? It could be disastrous if it's a bad enough allergy. You wouldnt forgive yourself if something happened like that and you had known and didnt say anything. Maybe you could do it anonymously over the phone?

Bloomburger · 04/09/2019 16:40

If you ignore it and another child has a serious anaphylactic episode you will be culpable. Be that parent.

Howlovely · 04/09/2019 16:42

I would definitely tell the school so they can check that particular child's lunchbox and speak to the parents. If it were just a case of them having contraband pop or sweets then I'd definitely keep out of it but nuts could kill a child. It's a no-brainer, surely?

doublesheesh · 04/09/2019 17:02

If you ignore it and another child has a serious anaphylactic episode you will be culpable. Be that parent.

This

Why on earth are people still scared of being a 'snitch'? If it i ls aife or death scenarios, ffs, speak out.

Original poster

Anonmummyoftwo · 04/09/2019 17:05

Thank you all. Im going to go in early and have a word with head teacher. Dont think i could forgive myself if something happend.

OP posts:

confusednorthner · 04/09/2019 17:05

Yes please do tell school, what if it was your child that was allergic ?

CTRL · 04/09/2019 17:06

There are lunchtime assistants that will do their job and pick up on it.

Leave them to it

CTRL · 04/09/2019 17:07

If there’s going to be an allergic reaction it’s going to happen weather the child ate the snickers at school or at home.

Just leave the school to pick up on it and they will remind the mum

BeautifulWintersMorning · 04/09/2019 17:08

It's not being "that parent" to be concerned about a child with a nut allergy.

WhatWhyWhen · 04/09/2019 17:10

I’m not a busybody but if you listen to the interviews with the poor lads mum who had the cheese allergy and died you’d tell someone.

No one needs to know it’s you.

Paddingtonthebear · 04/09/2019 17:13

I would mention it to school. It’s really dangerous for a child who has a nut allergy and clearly the lunchtime supervisors haven’t been that alert before if this child is known to have these things in their lunch box

MaggietheHorseThief · 04/09/2019 17:18

It's ok to be a busybody if somebody might otherwise die. Have a quiet word with the school.

MrsLinManuelMiranda · 04/09/2019 17:20

Worried I thought peanuts were actually the worse 'nut' in terms of allergies. My nephew is allergic to peanuts, but fine with other nuts. Fortunately for him , it just results in a rash , but he been told it could get more severe .

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 04/09/2019 17:24

As someone who works for the school meals service, I suggest that it is very important that you pass on this information to the school. If the mum is unwrapping the bars to send to school, (a) she clearly knows that she is doing wrong and (b) the [doubtless already overloaded] lunchtime staff are vastly less likely to spot them as a potential risk.

PLEASE let the school know, confidentially, precisely what you witnessed. I would suggest an email to encourage action, as this will otherwise leave a 'paper trail' if, God forbid, something terrible were to happen and nothing had been done.

Mummadeeze · 04/09/2019 17:25

God that Mun is ignorant and selfish. How could she endanger another child like that for the sake of a Snickers bar? So glad you are saying something.

laweaselNW · 04/09/2019 17:27

@worriedaboutmygirl peanut not technically a nut? Erm, clue is in the name love.

Paddington68 · 04/09/2019 17:27

Don't ignore it.
A school paying staff to be lunchbox police is bizarre when school funding is so low, but necessary when parents are not responsible.
Staff checking lunch boxes is time not helping children to learn.
Tell the school, so they can have a word, be that parent.

MitziK · 04/09/2019 17:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

OtraCosaMariposa · 04/09/2019 17:29

This is the responsibility of the lunchtime staff, not you

Exactly this.

Tonnerre · 04/09/2019 17:30

There are lunchtime assistants that will do their job and pick up on it.

Leave them to it

Lunch time assistants with large number of children to deal with in a relatively short space of time. Why take the risk that they won't pick up? @CTRL, could you live with yourself if you heard that they hadn't, and that the child with the allergy had become seriously ill or died?

AloeVeraLynn · 04/09/2019 17:31

laweaselNW
Have a little Google before you patronise people, love.

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