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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should i have a word with school

92 replies

Anonmummyoftwo · 04/09/2019 16:30

Dp thinks i should mind my own but i do want to speak to school so asking here. Taking ds to school this morning and stopped a shop seen a mum with kids in same school she was getting bits for lunch for them. All parents were giving a list or what kids can not have in school the normal no fizzy pop no sweets ect but in big black bold writing it say no nuts that a child with a nut allergy was attending. I seen this mum put a snikers bar in both her dc lunch bags. When her oldest said mum we cant have nuts or chocolate she just unwrapped it and said well eat it fast at lunch so they dont see. Shop was busy and a few mums seen. My ds is in one of her dc class and i asked him dose she normally have things like at at lunch and he said yes. My dp thinks that i should mind my own but i think i should have a word with a teacher. What if the child with the allergy comes into contact with one of the kids. So should i have a word with school

OP posts:
Butttons · 04/09/2019 21:07

Oh I came on to say that peanuts are legumes and see others beat me to it

Yabbers · 04/09/2019 21:25

Your DP is correct. You will be that parent if you go in like the lunch box police.

Because not being “that” parent is the most important thing here. Not that the life of a child is at stake, or anything. 🙄

I’d tell the school, let them deal with it. If it were my child I’d hope someone else would do the same. They don’t have enough staff to physically check every lunchbox. Nut allergies are not something to fuck about with.

Ivestoppedreadingthenews · 04/09/2019 21:27

I wouldn’t normally interfere but I know epi pens are currently in extremely short supply due to Brexit so it’s even more dangerous than normal. I wouldn’t name names though. I would say you saw a parent doing this and they might like to reiterate /check lunch boxes.

dollydaydream114 · 04/09/2019 21:32

My friend's child has a severe nut allergy and yes, you should absolutely tell the school.

So many people think that a) a nut allergy just means a child will get a puffy face and wheeze a bit and b) it's all fine if they've got an epi pen. Neither of those things are true and allergic reactions can be fatal.

Yabbers · 04/09/2019 21:35

Beside the point but coconut isn’t strictly a nut either. Nor is a donut.

But people who are allergic to nuts are far more likely to be allergic to peanuts than they would be to, say, lentils. So “nuts” are used as a catch all. The nitpicking about peanuts not being nuts is irrelevant to a child having anaphylactic reactions.

DejaVoodoo · 04/09/2019 21:35

How ridiculous those saying “leave it to the lunchtime supervisors” are. Do you think they can examine every item of food in every child’s lunchbox? And don’t you realise that nut allergies can be fatal?

I’m so glad that my children don’t have allergies given the attitudes on here, and of course of Snickers mum.

OP, be that parent, you may save a child’s life.

Oh, and peanuts aren’t real nuts 🙂

PeterGriffinsChin · 04/09/2019 21:38

Please tell the school - it could save a child's life. I'm a lunchtime supervisor in a primary school and so far the children have been brilliant at snitching on each other regarding nutty foods! Grin

Fredthefrog · 04/09/2019 21:42

Lots of people seem to have no idea what lunch time supervisors do. They are mostly in the playground , cleaning mess for safety and escorting children around the school. They will not be looking in every lunch box for contraband unless the school has money to waste. Please tell the school what you saw so they can manage it. This is life or death not a packet of haribo.

worriedaboutmygirl · 04/09/2019 21:48

But people who are allergic to nuts are far more likely to be allergic to peanuts than they would be to, say, lentils. So “nuts” are used as a catch all. The nitpicking about peanuts not being nuts is irrelevant to a child having anaphylactic reactions.

Sure - agree. I think I was the first person on this thread to say that the OP really ought to report this to the school. Only reason I suggested clarifying was just in case policy didn't include peanuts. Had a similar thing where I was in the OPs position with coconuts (which were banned but were in school meals). But as you say, generally a nut policy will include peanuts or safer to assume that it does because of the higher rates of severe peanut allergy. I didn't mean to derail the thread.

froglin · 04/09/2019 21:58

I have a child who is allergic to peanuts. Please tell the school and give names so they know who to keep a closer eye on.

I have done this before and the school took it seriously. They had a talk with the children, policed snacks and sent information home. It made a difference and my son is safer as a result.

Dementornator · 04/09/2019 22:02

Our school also has a nut ban. They take it seriously, as they should. There’s a reminder in every newsletter. I would definitely bring it up with the headteacher. Potentially saving a child’s life is not being ‘that mum’. I know I could never life with myself if something happened to a poor child when I could have, possibly, prevented it.

Amani · 04/09/2019 22:02

Please please please tell the school. I have a child who is allergic to peanuts. Please tell the school and give names so they know who to speak to. It's not about snitching it's about preventing a potentially life threatening reaction.

Cantsleeppast3am · 04/09/2019 22:05

Yeah just ignore this, and ignore the racist kid, the kid who's being abused. For fuck sake people would have something to say if this affected their child. Can't honestly believe some of these responses.

AgnesNutterWitch · 04/09/2019 22:10

I'm stunned at some of the replies on thread.

Yes, of course you should tell the school. It's not petty, people die from nut allergies.

Nottodayx · 04/09/2019 22:12

My DS5 has a severe nut allergy. Allergies can be fatal. The fact that the parent took the wrapper off is incredibly dangerous. What if the child with the snickers then shared with other children? Possibly one with the allergy?

Please inform the school as soon as possible, this could end in a life threatening situation.

As a parent of a child with a severe allergy, we need people to understand allergies more not ignore them.

sleepylittlebunnies · 04/09/2019 22:19

i avoid confrontation where possible but I would actually have spoken to the mum myself at the time. How difficult would it have been for her to have swapped it for a Mars bar?

CookieDoughKid · 04/09/2019 22:24

There is only one correct answer here. Inform the school asap. You have a duty to. You could be saving a child.

Yabbers · 05/09/2019 00:09

Only reason I suggested clarifying was just in case policy didn't include peanuts

I'd think a policy would just be "nuts". Otherwise you put the onus on parents to decipher whether a nut is a nut or not.

Weezol · 05/09/2019 06:44

Nor is a donut.
Well that's my 5 A Day all shot to hell...

Original poster
Anonmummyoftwo · 05/09/2019 15:37

Just thought id give a update. I did go in and spoke to the head. Other parents did aswell including the parents of the child who has the allergy. From hearing the other parents talking its not the first time this mum has did it. Last year she was called in a number of times.

OP posts:
DejaVoodoo · 05/09/2019 18:38

Good for you, OP, it’s good to know that people look out for each other’s children like this. I hope snickers mum has been read the riot act.

TabbyMumz · 05/09/2019 19:57

Why do you need to tell the headteacher? Why not just the teacher?

PeppermintSoda · 05/09/2019 19:59

Normally I agree with you that there's no need to go straight to the Head, but in this case I think it's justified as a child's safety is at stake

TabbyMumz · 05/09/2019 20:01

How do you know she's been called in lots of times? If the headteachers told you that, that's not very professional. Still cant see why you had to go straight to the head. I think it's up to her if she gives her kid a chocolate bar, but understand re the peanuts. I used to give my kids a twix or kit Katie for snack and used to put it in their coat pocket, don't see its anyones business to tell me I couldn't do that. They had their breakfast early and snack time was 4 hours later...an apple just wasn't going to fill them.

Howlovely · 05/09/2019 21:39

Tabbymumz, you think a KitKat is going to fill your child up? And you encouraged your children to hide the chocolate and eat it in secret? Great.
Why are you going on about the absolute minutae of this thread?
OP has gone to see the head because a child's life is potentially at stake and ultimately, the buck stops with the headteacher. She has also said that she has heard bits of information from other parents at the school, not from the headteacher. You clearly have a problem with schools in general.

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