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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should i have a word with school

92 replies

Anonmummyoftwo · 04/09/2019 16:30

Dp thinks i should mind my own but i do want to speak to school so asking here. Taking ds to school this morning and stopped a shop seen a mum with kids in same school she was getting bits for lunch for them. All parents were giving a list or what kids can not have in school the normal no fizzy pop no sweets ect but in big black bold writing it say no nuts that a child with a nut allergy was attending. I seen this mum put a snikers bar in both her dc lunch bags. When her oldest said mum we cant have nuts or chocolate she just unwrapped it and said well eat it fast at lunch so they dont see. Shop was busy and a few mums seen. My ds is in one of her dc class and i asked him dose she normally have things like at at lunch and he said yes. My dp thinks that i should mind my own but i think i should have a word with a teacher. What if the child with the allergy comes into contact with one of the kids. So should i have a word with school

OP posts:

sweetiepie1979 · 05/09/2019 21:44

Please do have a quiet word with them I work in a school we nearly lost a student recently because a parent was careless with lunch box items. What a careless parent how annoying!

sweetiepie1979 · 05/09/2019 21:47

Oh god and I’ll just add the whole epipen shortage...... it’s frightening!

WineIsMyMainVice · 05/09/2019 21:51

Definitely report it

TabbyMumz · 05/09/2019 21:52

"Tabbymumz, you think a KitKat is going to fill your child up? And you encouraged your children to hide the chocolate and eat it in secret? Great.
Why are you going on about the absolute minutae of this thread?
OP has gone to see the head because a child's life is potentially at stake and ultimately, the buck stops with the headteacher. She has also said that she has heard bits of information from other parents at the school, not from the headteacher. You clearly have a problem with schools in general."

How funny.....I absolutely have no problem with schools but if I want to give my child a kitkat, I will give my child a kitkat . It will be more substantial than a piece of fruit!!! Sometimes it was a waffle sometimes biscuits, whatever I fancied actually, and they were glad of it . They are it in the playground, whilst their friends ate whatever they wanted too. The teachers turned a blind eye. As they should.
She could have just told the teacher, who would have dealt with it appropriately. No need to go to the head.
And as for me "going on about the minutae of the thread" ...just taking part like everyone else....I could ask why are you focusing on me?

Actionhasmagic · 05/09/2019 21:53

If it was just fizzy drinks or sweets I would ignore but a child could react severely even if in the same airspace as nuts

Straysocks · 05/09/2019 21:57

A child's life. Worth protecting? It is that simple. If there is a no-nut policy (or other allergen) it is because a child might die. Mum of ground nut (peanut) and tree nut (all others) allergic child here.

Original poster

Anonmummyoftwo · 05/09/2019 22:04

It was another mum said she had been called in before. I dont think iv a right to tell others what they can and can not feed children but when they are putting another child at risk then yes i think something should be said.

OP posts:

hookiwooki · 05/09/2019 22:56

OP we're waiting for allergy testing to confirm peanut and check tree nuts for DS(1) at the moment. You 100% did the right thing, and I hope there are parents like you when he goes to school. His last reaction included facial swelling and hives, his next reaction could be anaphylactic.

To those of you saying OP is "that parent", you clearly don't have any idea what it's like to parent a child that could die because of what someone else brings to school. Would you stay quiet if it was a knife?

The allergic person doesn't have to eat the actual nut product to have a life threatening reaction. They may touch their mouth after sharing an object with a child who has eaten a nut product, or the proteins could cause a reaction just through skin contact.

Nut bans should be strictly adhered to, they are in place for a reason. And please, please, please if you know that the ban is being disregarded, speak up.

bellmadboo · 05/09/2019 23:00

Phone school and let them know. Children die from allergies all the time. Imagine if something bad happens and you could of prevented it from happening.

clairedelalune · 05/09/2019 23:41

Totally agree about reporting.

As a side note. (And I mention lightheartedly ... actually with my peanut allergy I am actually allergic to lentils as I am allergic to all legumes (can't eat nuts either... eating is so much fun )

justintimberlakesfishwife · 05/09/2019 23:53

@TabbyMumz there's a difference between you choosing to give your kids chocolate, and choosing to hide away a nut filled chocolate bar out of the wrapper in their bag, when school have banned nuts to protect kids with severe allergies. No child needs a snickers.
And I know a peanut is a legume, not a nut!

Amiable · 05/09/2019 23:56

My DD has a nut allergy. Please tell the school. This is not something to mess with, how would you feel if the wrong child came in contact and was hospitalised or worse?

GibbonLover · 06/09/2019 00:05

Maybe, just maybe, the teachers were all busy getting the children into or out of class? Perhaps the reception staff directed OP to the Head? Who knows? Head was clearly happy to see OP and listen to her concerns and FWIW, I think OP absolutely did the right thing.

Rejelio · 06/09/2019 00:10

Well done OP, you definitely did the right thing! Can’t believe PPs saying leave it to the lunch staff I expect they’re the ones who send their kids in with Nutella sandwiches and hope no-one notices...and the semantics about when is a but not a nut... for the purposes of a ‘nut free school’ of course peanuts are included in that!

R2G · 06/09/2019 00:11

Well done telling the school. I thought you meant tell about eating an unhealthy snack which would be daft, but Supporting a policy to protect a child. Very serious. Well done. The school aren't going to say you're that parent or it came from you. It's a safety issue really important

Stefoscope · 06/09/2019 00:25

Glad you decided to let the school know OP. I'm baffled by the idea that people wouldn't mention it to the school if it may save a child's life. The DC clearly understood she wasn't allowed nuts or chocolate at lunch, it's bizarre she thought it was ok to send her in with it anyway. Imagine how she would have felt if the allergy had hospitalized her classmate or worse. Do people really expect lunchtime supervisors, who are probably being paid the minimum wage, to have the means to examine every child's lunch?

TabbyMumz · 06/09/2019 07:23

justintimberlakesfishwife

@TabbyMumzthere's a difference between you choosing to give your kids chocolate, and choosing to hide away a nut filled chocolate bar out of the wrapper in their bag, when school have banned nuts to protect kids with severe allergies. No childneedsa snickers.
And I know a peanut is a legume, not a nut!

Of course there is, that's why I said it's different re nuts!!!! I haven't hidden a nutty chocolate bar anywhere in a nut allergy school!!!

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