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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To kick off at school

96 replies

Kplpandd · 04/09/2019 16:17

My daughter has just come back from her first day at a new school (year 1) and told me she didn't have lunch. I phoned school who said that office staff dont deal with lunches and to speak to teacher in the morning.

Am I being unreasonable to be fuming right now or should I just put it down to a blip?

OP posts:
Original poster
Kplpandd · 04/09/2019 16:18

Just to add she tells me she was too shy to ask or tell a teacher.

OP posts:
user1498854363 · 04/09/2019 16:18

Did she say why not? Was she offered anything? Is she hungry? Is she fussy eater? Is she used to school meals?

What does she say happened?

Templetonstunafish · 04/09/2019 16:19

Is it possible she didn't want anything on the menu? Is she supposed to have a school lunch and maybe just didn't eat it?

Slazengerbag · 04/09/2019 16:20

I wouldn’t kick off! I would talk to the teacher and explain that she didn’t have lunch and was too shy to mention it.

Why didn’t she have lunch? Aren’t they free school dinners now so her class would of gone to the dining room as a whole?

Tableclothing · 04/09/2019 16:21

If you 'kick off' you won't be listened to. Try to ask about it normally.

AmIChangingagain · 04/09/2019 16:22

Kick off at school?

Why not clarify what happened first

Original poster
Kplpandd · 04/09/2019 16:22

No she didn't even go into the hall. She said she put her name down for school dinners and was looking forward to it but she doesn't know why she didn't have any. Not a fussy eater at all.

OP posts:
Sexnotgender · 04/09/2019 16:22

I’d try asking politely what happened before ‘kicking off’.

Bitchfeatures · 04/09/2019 16:24

I'd be livid, but I wouldn't kick off until you know the whole story.
Are you 100% she didn't eat anything? Was she too shy to get in line? Maybe she didn't know what to do? And the teachers/dinner staff have missed it, it's not on at all but I'd get the whole story before deciding how to react.

iamruth · 04/09/2019 16:24

Ordinarily I’d always try to look at this from a school/teacher perspective but honestly? I’d be annoyed that the office staff dismissed me like that, I’d expect them to find out and get someone to call me back. It’s only 16.23 teachers do not leave at 3.15 despite popular belief and although they may be in a meeting etc this could be discussed with you this evening and if it were my child I’d want it discussed now so it couldn’t happen to someone else tomorrow

Original poster
Kplpandd · 04/09/2019 16:24

Yes you're right I should clarify what happened first. I wonder if they all go out onto the playground first and she didn't know to go into the hall. I'm not sure. It's a new school so she wont know the usual routine. I'll ask calmly in the morning.

OP posts:
Cohle · 04/09/2019 16:25

I think YABU to be fuming. As others have said, have a polite discussion about what happened and how it can be avoided in the future.

colourlessgreenidea · 04/09/2019 16:26

I’d try asking politely what happened before ‘kicking off’.

Don’t you go bandying your common sense all over the place. We’ll have none of that round here, thank you very much!

recrudescence · 04/09/2019 16:26

Your first impulse is to ‘kick off’? How utterly depressing. God, I’m so grateful to be retired from teaching.

DungeonDweller · 04/09/2019 16:27

Yabu to "kick off", just try and find out what happened. It's possible she was forgotten, didn't hear instructions, refused it, or a host of other reasons. Find out then come up with a rational next step.

Not hysterical kicking off Hmm

purplepoop · 04/09/2019 16:27

None of this makes sense.

They ask at registration what they have. Lunch or a box. Its noted on SIMS.
Kids sit down. Teachers and lunch assistants will know who has what for lunch.

gubbsywubbsy · 04/09/2019 16:27

I wouldn't kick off .. you are going to be at the school a looonngg time and you will get black listed as trouble . Just be an adult and ask politely why and what happened ? She won't starve missing one meal .

Byorderofthepeakyblinders · 04/09/2019 16:28

YABU, speak to the teacher first

VapeVamp12 · 04/09/2019 16:29

did she not get lunch because she didn't go into the lunch hall? Was she expecting to be called in, but wasn't?

LoseLooseLucy · 04/09/2019 16:30

Just attack the school teacher on sight, that'll teach 'em.

duffyluth · 04/09/2019 16:32

No she didn't even go into the hall. She said she put her name down for school dinners and was looking forward to it but she doesn't know why she didn't have any

Presumably because she didn't go to the dinner hall? Why did she not go?

DungeonDweller · 04/09/2019 16:32

Yes, a good physical assault will ensure the teacher knows your DC need their lunch as their number 1 priority Grin

Raphael34 · 04/09/2019 16:33

Why didn’t she get her lunch?? At our secondary’s they leave 4th lesson for lunchtime. They can make their own way to the dinner hall at any time during their lunch break to get their dinner. How is it the teachers fault your dd never got her lunch or wouldn’t tell anyone she hadn’t had any? I think you need to be careful before making accusations because it sounds like your dd was too shy to get her dinner, unfortunate but not the schools fault

IncrediblySadToo · 04/09/2019 16:34

You need to calm down

She won’t die of starvation between breakfast /morning tea and being collected from school

I’d have told her she should have asked her teacher what she needed to do if she wasn’t sure. Shes Y1 not R. Being ‘shy’ should not be encouraged. She needs to speak up or she’ll end up missing out in things like lunch and with toilet accidents if she’s not able to speak to her teacher

I am sorry she’s been upset/hungry in her first day, as she’s only little, but the teacher has a class full of kids, making sure they’ve each eaten lunch really isn’t her responsibility and getting angry at the school isn’t appropriate - you need to take responsibility for not knowing what she needed to do and not making her comfortable enough to speak to an appropriate

IncrediblySadToo · 04/09/2019 16:34

Appropriate ADULT.