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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To kick off at school

96 replies

Kplpandd · 04/09/2019 16:17

My daughter has just come back from her first day at a new school (year 1) and told me she didn't have lunch. I phoned school who said that office staff dont deal with lunches and to speak to teacher in the morning.

Am I being unreasonable to be fuming right now or should I just put it down to a blip?

OP posts:

BrendasUmbrella · 04/09/2019 17:53

Some of you seriously need to calm down... Why so triggered?

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 04/09/2019 17:56

Depends what you mean by “Kick Off”. YANBU to speak to somebody politely tomorrow to ask exactly what happened and to explain that it is most unfortunate that this happened on the first day of school.
YABU if you shout , scream and demand b3cause it won’t get you anywhere!

ReasonedCamper · 04/09/2019 18:03

I see you have agreed to go and calmly ask.

The make sure that your Dd will be told what to do, and that she understands.

ScabbyHorse · 04/09/2019 18:12

You'd be better off talking to her TA as they're the ones who usually work on lunch duty

LowlyHandMaiden · 04/09/2019 18:19

"Kick off"?

I despair.

MollyButton · 04/09/2019 18:28

I'm confused that if there were office staff at the school then surely there were teachers there too - why didn't the office staff get a teacher? I have never been at a school where the office staff stay longer than the teachers.

DodgeRainClouds · 04/09/2019 18:31

I’m quite shocked that people think a year 1 in a new school should know to go to lunch. I work in a reception class and would be horrified if a child missed lunch. In my school each teacher ticks the child off in the line for lunch and reminds them which queue to get in (veg, meat or salad bar). You need to calmly ask what their procedure is and they need to find out how a child went all day without food.

whattodowith · 04/09/2019 18:33

Kicking off won’t resolve anything, it’ll just make you look like a bellend. A polite chat will suffice.

Are you sure she didn’t have lunch? It just sounds quite odd that she sat in the lunch hall not eating and nobody noticed.

KitKat1985 · 04/09/2019 18:40

"kick off"? Really?

Why not politely ask the school tomorrow what happened instead?

isittheholidaysyet · 04/09/2019 18:40

So a 5 year old has been left at school by her parents. Who have no choice but to trust that the adults in this school will take proper care of the child.
A FIVE year old.

She was not given lunch. That is a major failing of the adults supposed to protect her and care for her.
I cannot think of any excuse the school could give to make this acceptable.
(Except maybe fire/flood/earthquake/war)

What else are the school forgetting to do?

This was her first day as well. How on earth is she supposed to even know where the dining hall is?

Yes OP. You need to go to school and find out what the hell happened and (presuming the child is not telling lies). You then need to find out what the school will do to take better care of your child.
(Obviously in a polite and measured way. Save the kicking off for mumsnet, like we all do)

Nottheduchess · 04/09/2019 18:49

I would definitely speak to the teacher to find out, I bet they’ll be mortified that a little one missed out on lunch. A year 1 on her first day is not responsible for missing lunch, it is the failing of the teacher/TA/lunch lady or whomever was responsible for getting the child to the dinner hall.

Purpleartichoke · 04/09/2019 18:56

It’s very concerning because at this age, the teachers are not just teaching, they are providing care. Not at the same level as in nursery, but it’s also not the independence expected in the upper grades. Someone should know where a year 1 is at all
Times.

imnotinthemood · 04/09/2019 18:59

Jeez the op has already said will calmly ask what happened .
70 odd comments later posts telling her off for saying kicking off . It's a expression I don't think she intended to march down to the school and karate chop the teacher .

Humberbear · 04/09/2019 19:04

All the schools I've worked in, the year 1's are taken straight from the classroom to the dinner hall by either the teacher or a lunchtime supervisor. They would probably be first down as most reception children are on staggered starting eg part time and often don't stay lunch the first week. I would ask her what happened at lunchtime when the children all went to lunch

MeYouWye · 04/09/2019 19:05

As someone who used to work in a school I'm less concerned that she missed lunch and more concerned that a year 1 was in the wrong place. In my experience we would be checking numbers, imagine if she had had an accident and no one had missed her...

Russell19 · 04/09/2019 19:37

Just bare in mind, teachers are not always responsible at lunch. She may hand over to a TA a dinner lady so she may not know all the facts herself. I'd approach it from an angle of... "I'm just a little bit confused as to what happened yesterday lunch" and play a bit worried/confused.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 04/09/2019 19:44

I'm confused that if there were office staff at the school then surely there were teachers there too - why didn't the office staff get a teacher? I have never been at a school where the office staff stay longer than the teachers.

Well this member of office staff was at school after all the teachers had gone today!

Our office manager’s contractual finish time is 4.30. Teaching staff are required to be on premises until 3.30 unless they are running a club or have a staff meeting (in which case they still wouldn’t have been available). I was at school until 4 today.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 04/09/2019 19:49

Oh and we had a child a couple of years ago who repeatedly told his mother that he was not given lunch. In the end we arranged to video her son happily tucking into his cooked school meal including pudding.

Child still said he hadn’t had “lunch”. Turns out that as far as he was concerned the children who had packed lunch had “lunch”, those who had school dinners had “dinner”. He WANTED to have (packed) lunch because he wanted a cool bag!

SerialGoogler · 04/09/2019 20:02

When my DS started Yr 1 in a new school year he came home on day one with a full packed lunch. Apparently he was scared the teacher would eat it all so he thought it would be safer to keep it in his bag and eat it a home. On further investigation this was a plot in Horrid Henry...
After reassuring him that his teacher was absolutely not interested in his spaghetti hoops he was comfortable eating his lunch at school from then on.
All this is to say they are a funny lot at this age. I've been told all sorts of weird things he is absolutely sure his teacher has said and when I've enquired (note, not kicked off) he'd got it completely wrong. Such as one time he was convinced he was going on a school trip to have lunch with some animals. I said it couldn't be right as school hadn't let me know. Turns out she was just telling them about a new book she was going to read them called something like 'Picnic with the animals."

SweetpeaMidnight · 04/09/2019 20:08

Oh bless her. All the hot dinners are ticked in at our school, if someone is missing we know and look for them. Kids often miss the whistle whilst busy playing, especially if its windy out! Yr R/1 come straight in so aren't expected to be responsible for getting themselves to lunch.

ChinkChink · 05/09/2019 17:06

Did you find out what happened OP?

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