To opt out of water park rides?

[BemusedTraveller]

I've name changed for this as it could be outing.

We're currently on holiday in Spain with two young teenage DCs and today we have a highly anticipated and very expensive trip to a huge and spectacular water park.

The trouble is I hate them and have always suggested DH either goes alone with the DCs or I come but just sunbathe and swim instead while we're there (I'm early 50s).

DH has always insisted I get involved but this year I've put on weight (I'm still upper reaches of a size 12) and last night my DD commented that while I still look lovely in clothes, in a bikini I'm different, and made huge type gestures with her arms, to which everyone fell about laughing.

I'm therefore dreading more than normal the idea of wandering around this park and standing in queues in a bikini all day. Would I be unreasonable and selfish to go along but not go on the rides and just sunbathe and swim etc?

I'd actually be having a serious chat with your husband.

He needs to man up and do stuff without you, I wouldn't be standing for him having a go that the ticket fee is wasted.

I'd also be clamping down on these little comments and dogs about your weight. Your children are really impressionable and it's clearly rubbing off on them.

Urgh.

how rude!

and last night my DD commented that while I still look lovely in clothes, in a bikini I'm different, and made huge type gestures with her arms, to which everyone fell about laughing.

That was very rude of your daughter and of everyone else to laugh too. If it was me I'd be telling them to go on their own.

Your DH sounds a total knob. His 'gentle' ribbing about your weight is what allowed your daughter to behave so badly.

If my husband or my children spoke to me like that they would be told it was totally unacceptable. I certainly wouldn't indulge the husband with me on the day out, and letting him be cross at me for not going on the rides. He sounds like a right catch. Value yourself more OP, and don't let your H treat you like shit. And don't let your children pick up on his habit.

Your daughter was rude but your husband is worse.

I'd be having "gentle fun" with him about the fact he is incapable of going anywhere without you. Well it wouldn't be "gentle" fun actually the sad fuck.

This thread has probably gone off the grid by now but I really appreciate all your comments.

My DH has a lot of positives: very loyal and faithful and really good at pulling his weight around the home. He also seems (annoyingly) as fit now as when I met him, down to a quite physical job and hobby, so he notices any physical change in me more than most I guess.

The big issue is his controlling (and needy) behaviour which, as I've said, is the cause of most of any disputes we have. I don't really like to discuss any negative aspects of our relationship with friends, so this thread has been very illuminating and given me the perspective I needed - thank you 😊

"My DH has a lot of positives: very loyal and faithful and really good at pulling his weight around the home."

I have a cheese and pickle sandwich which also has a layer of shit in it.

It's really delicious.

Apart from the shit.

You sound timid op. Tell your DD not to be so bloody rude. Tell your DH what YOU want to do not him! Take control!

I feel your pain. My family love water parks and I hate them! I actually booked a holiday staying on a water park this year as I knew they would enjoy it. I went on a few rides towards the end of the holiday but even then I was told off by dh and my eldest because I had a face like thunder and clearly wasn't having fun.

Dh is like your dh everyone has to do everything together it drives me mad. I would love a couple of days on my own being boring but that's unlikely to happen.

Jesus, no fucking way would I be going on a water ride, that's my idea of hell, but also no fucking way would be DD be going anywhere after that comment! I'm raging on your behalf!

I don't mean this in a harsh way but you sound like a doormat - controlling needy DP, kids calling the shots and your DD speaking to you about your weight like that. It's appalling. I think if you could work on your assertiveness you might reap rewards.

OP, on a different, cautionary note, you better nip your DD's attitude in the bud, as PPs have said before it is very unkind (I hope she is not teasing chubby friends, too?), but it is also potentially damaging for her, how will she feel if in the future she were to put some weight on? and given you are a 12 it wouldn't take a lot of weight gain for her to feel rally bad about herself!

I hope you enjoyed the waterpark, OP. I always used to be in charge of valuables at these things - suited me fine as I had no interest in the 'activities'.

Do not let your silly family undermine your confidence. It took me many years not to be shy and self critical and believe me it's very liberating when you finally look at yourself and think "Fuck it, this is me and actually it's not at all bad!" Point out to your DH and DD that making digs about your perfectly acceptable weight is saying so much more about them than you.

Bikinis all the way, lady!

It has nothing to do with the bikini and everything to do with being controlled by a selfish man-child and disrespectful children. Honestly OP, is this how you want your children to grow up and treat their future partners, because it strikes me they are learning from the best 😒.

@WatchingTheMoon, that is my favourite Mumsnet comment of recent times. And profound, too.

OP, your DH needs to grow up and parent his own children without Mummy (sorry, you) coming along. This thread, and the parade of pathetic manchildren who just hang about mutely waiting for attention on the thread about ‘What does your OH do if you’re doing your own thing?’ have been a depressing eye-opener.

And end his comments on your appearance. You can already see the impact on one of your children, quite apart from the fact it’s sapped your own confidence.

As you grow older you realise No One can make you do anything you dont want to!.Like me I am not keen on the water so usually have a chat to other Water Resistant Mums!.Often in the Jacuzzi !.As far as DD goes, at 12 she is getting to the teenage years when all Mums fat or thin are just sooo embarassing!.Take no notice and rock your Bikini!

Op your DH sounds like arse

And you sound as if you need to stand up for yourself

You should have told him you weren't going instead of giving
In to emotional blackmail

Your daughter sounds very, very rude. No way would I ever allow either of mine to speak to me like that. Although they wouldn't dream of it anyway

If your DP is like mine, it's the fact he is responsible for the DC for the day when in fact he wants to be the big kid too.

Happy Sunbathing!

How old is your daughter? She was incredibly rude and depending on her age I'd consider not taking her on the outing at all.
I hate water parks too, yanbu.

The whole thread didn't load. Just caught up now. God your DH is a pain in the arse!

If I'm coming across as timid that's not so, but there's only enough room in our family for one unreasonable person, so in front of the DCs and especially on holiday I'm usually the diplomat.

I've slipped on occasions in the past couple of weeks though, more than usual, and it's gone horribly the other way (I think I've threatened to book in to a local hotel a few times plus fly home alone!).

We tend to reform very quickly though and looking back (we've got two days left) it's been a really lovely holiday! 😂

“We tend to reform very quickly though and looking back (we've got two days left) it's been a really lovely holiday!”

You do know that a lovely family holiday does not usually involve one of the family members being laughed at, forced to do things she doesn’t want to do and wanting on several occasions to fly home early or go and stay in a hotel?

God you have unfeasibly low standards of what constitutes a ”lovely holiday”. It must be exhausting keeping up the wonderful middle class family facade all the time.

Diplomat or doormat?

Sorry to sound harsh but your family should not be poking fun at your weight. And it does sound as if DD has picked it up off DH.

Your daughter was so rude to you. I'm plus size and I love seeing people in whatever swimwear they want to wear.

Your husband sounds very petulant.

You told him you didn't wish to go to the park, he showed off and threatened to spoil the kids enjoyment by cancelling so you agreed on the basis that you would sunbathe only.
And now he's having a go at you for wasting the entrance fee.

I'd be telling him in no uncertain terms that next time you will not be wasting the fee and will not be attending. Also that he is a twat.

Laughing at you, poking fun of your weight, not admonishing your daughter for her rudeness, neediness and and controlling behaviour...just because he's good with the hoovering doesn't give him carte blanche to treat you like this.

I hope this thread gives you a bit of a wake up call tbh, and I mean that in a nice way. He should be treating you better than this.