To opt out of water park rides?

[BemusedTraveller]

I've name changed for this as it could be outing.

We're currently on holiday in Spain with two young teenage DCs and today we have a highly anticipated and very expensive trip to a huge and spectacular water park.

The trouble is I hate them and have always suggested DH either goes alone with the DCs or I come but just sunbathe and swim instead while we're there (I'm early 50s).

DH has always insisted I get involved but this year I've put on weight (I'm still upper reaches of a size 12) and last night my DD commented that while I still look lovely in clothes, in a bikini I'm different, and made huge type gestures with her arms, to which everyone fell about laughing.

I'm therefore dreading more than normal the idea of wandering around this park and standing in queues in a bikini all day. Would I be unreasonable and selfish to go along but not go on the rides and just sunbathe and swim etc?

I'm at the park now - went to the top of the first slide they went on and couldn't face it, so I'm now sunbathing by a pretty pool surrounded by trees while they go off on all the slides 😃

As I mentioned, my DCs seem fine with this but my DH is unfortunately one of those people who struggles to do things without me. This is the first time in six years that I haven't gone on the rides and, with all your nice comments too, I'm feeling fine about it!

I have to say my DD12 is usually wonderful and I'm hoping this was one of those silly comments that just came out wrong. However my DH does regularly poke what he calls 'gentle fun' at my weight, mainly so I'll do something about it, he says.

We've been together for 24 years and until a decade ago I was a size 10, but since then (mostly through white wine!) I've increased to a size 12. I do think my DD has picked up on his attitude to me.

Your dh sounds like a knob
You've gone from a 10 to 12, it's not much.

However my DH does regularly poke what he calls 'gentle fun' at my weight, mainly so I'll do something about it, he says.

Jeez that's not on at all :/ Is he some sort of adonos himself? Size 12, age 50 sounds fantastic to me and I wouldn't be giving the wine up for any bikini ............or man!!!

Enjoy your sunbathe

They are teenagers they don't need their parents trotting round after them at a water park.
When mine were young teens I would take them to a water park (DH stayed behind at hotel) I'd park myself by a pool and they were instructed to report back to base every hour or two. DH has never gone on rides but I use to before I had health problems. Once the got to 15+ they went without us and we stayed at the hotel and saved a fortune.

I've just been admonished by my DH for wasting my entrance fee if I'm not using the rides, but he said yesterday that if I didn't come then none of us would go!

His inability to do anything without me is probably one of the primary causes of any tension in our marriage (way more than weight comments actually!).

I’m posting again because of your “D”D s comment. How can it be ok for her to say that to you?
You are a size 12, so in her daily life she will encounter many many larger people than you, she really needs to know not to comment.

You someone missed the f*ck you 40s. That is when you finally realize you should just be doing what makes you happy.

Skip the rides. I hate them too. I use the time to relax or to have extra time doing the things I enjoy that the rest of the family finds boring.

And your children need a serious lesson in body shaming.

And posting yet again because of your husband’s comments. Try poking some gentle fun at his inability to think and act for himself. He sounds like very hard work.
I’d also be telling him that any more comments about weight and he’d be doing all the jobs I don’t like single handed.
You have a lot of power there op, as he hates doing stuff alone ,you can use it to change his behaviour. Threaten to not join in with stuff you don’t like if he doesn’t cut the criticism ( dressed up as gentle fun) and follow through a few times.

YANBU for opting out if you don't like water slides but please don't feel that your appearance or weight are reasons one way or another to influence your behaviour. Your daughter was being obnoxious. Judging people on their appearance is nasty behaviour and your DH should not have laughed or encouraged her. Ok teenagers can be very judgmental but parents have to model decency. I'm annoyed on your behalf.

@Ohyesiam we think along similar lines 😂

@Purpleartichoke exactly - I'm going on Mumsnet, Spotify, Daily Mail while they do more 'fun' things!

Your husband sounds like an asshat. Who is he to poke “gentle fun” at your body? It’s only fun if both parties are enjoying it.

Your daughter was being mean to you, this is unacceptable. You and her father should be united in pulling her up on disrespectful behaviour.

I hope you have a wonderful time sunbathing today.

Your DH is pathetic and rude. He is a poor example to your DC. Why do you put up with it?

I’m in my mid 40s and my teenage DDs comment on me looking good for having 4 children flabby bits and all. I’m a size 8/10 and still wear bikinis on holiday, there’s all shapes and sizes and no ones cares.

Now my lot are older and can all swim and go on the big slides with DH I camp out with the bags on a sunbed with the books and drinks and they know where base camp is and off they go. I hardly ever go swimming as even abroad it’s too cold for me.

I would be talking to your DD about body shaming and people come on all shapes, sizes and colours and that’s just how it is.

“However my DH does regularly poke what he calls 'gentle fun' at my weight”
He should have stopped doing this the first time you asked him to.

I'd have said, that's a shame we're not going then
Call his bluff
Don't let him manipulate you

My DH is unfortunately one of those people who struggles to do things without me.

No wonder it causes tension. I'd hate that. So he can't go out with his own dc without you?

Next year, you stay at the villa while they go to the water park...

my DH does regularly poke what he calls 'gentle fun' at my weight, mainly so I'll do something about it, he says.

What a tool. Is he the same weight and size as when you met him 24 years ago, or is he bald with a paunch??

He sounds pretty nasty - needy, controlling, putting you down in a 'it's for your own good' way. Nice.

Ugh if my husband had continued to 'poke fun' at my after my first demand to stop he'd be my ex-husband by now.

Don't allow yourself to be put down by his patheticness,

You can hold their phones, take photos if they want you to, and generally be very helpful towards their enjoyment, if you do not want to take part.

Or as you suggest, sit and perhaps read a book? Before you talk to your DD re body shaming.

So is your dh a slim God like creature with the muscles of his youth?
Honestly going from a 10 to a 12 is hardly worth obsessing over....what is wrong with your dh? Why does he put you down?
Does he take care of dc while you go to gyms and bike rides on your terms? Have you had time for yourself to counter the natural aging process with some healthy exercise ? Does your dh facilitate this?

Tell your dh when you want his opinion you will give him it.

Bloody nasty harping on about someone's weight it isn't gentle fun at all.
Same for your dd.
When I took my kids to universal they went on the water slides I didn't I went in the pools. The heights and drops terrify Me! They didn't say one word as they know me. I watched them wishing I could do it though
I was a damm sight bigger than a 12 then too but I was enjoying myself. My kids knew I was unhappy with my weight but told me I was beautiful and sod everyone else😀
Enjoy yourself and have a stern word with your dh when you get back to your holiday home.

Would I be unreasonable and selfish to go along but not go on the rides and just sunbathe and swim etc?

Not at all - you do just what you want to do.

We usually take our elderly mother in law with us. She only goes on the lazy river and wave pool. She's happy enough to do that which is absolutely fine. I won't go on the fast slides, but OH and DS do.

I'm 62, size 12, and I'm bloody wearing a bikini. Yesterday a younger woman complimented me on the one I was wearing.

Your DD is a rude minx and needs a sharp talking to. Your DH needs to grow a spine.

Enjoy the water park in whatever way suits you best!

She wouldn't be going either with an attitude like that. Who the hell does she think she is?

“I'm 62, size 12, and I'm bloody wearing a bikini”

How brave!!

Not in the least, Bert, I think it's one of my best looks! 😁