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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stop the coup demo instead of meal with DH

91 replies

PaulaProctor · 02/09/2019 09:46

Our DC will be at their grandparents for one night this week, so I suggested a meal out with DH.
Since then I found out there is a 'stop the coup' demonstration in our town. It coincides with when I would be meeting DH in the town he works in.
We hardly ever get to go out together so DH is annoyed that I want to go to the demo instead of meeting him for an evening out.
He sees the demo as pointless and ultimately not achieving anything. I see it as an outlet for my utter rage at the savage man who has been allowed to take the reins of this country in such an undemocratic way and he is going to destroy us because he fundamentally doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself and his position of power. I am talking BJ here of course.
SO, AIBU to want to ditch a rare night out for a demo?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 02/09/2019 09:48

Yabu
I'd rather go for dinner and you agreed to that first

FinallyHere · 02/09/2019 09:49

Could you not do both? Meet at the demo, give an hour of your tune and then cut off for a meal.

Compromise, the secret of a harmonious live together. If either one of you is unwilling to compromise, there may be resentment that needs to be unpacked before you can move forward.

Original poster
PaulaProctor · 02/09/2019 09:49

I did, but I see this as extenuating circumstances...

OP posts:
Original poster
PaulaProctor · 02/09/2019 09:50

According to DH I can't meet him any later or he has to hang around in town waiting for me and he doesnt want to come to our home town to go out. Hmm

OP posts:
MaximusHeadroom · 02/09/2019 09:52

Would you rather tell your kids that you were out there demonstrating or at dinner with your DH?

He can come with you and share a romantic kebab at the chippy afterwards Grin

AmIThough · 02/09/2019 09:55

Yes prioritise a 'demonstration' that's likely to have very little impact over anything over a nice evening with your husband Hmm

FWIW, the way he became PM is much more democratic than the way Corbyn is now hoping to get into power but ok!

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 02/09/2019 09:55

Given that you hardly go out together just you and your DH and you have a rare chance to do so without the children plus the fact you suggested the meal to begin with I can see why he is pretty annoyed.

He's right the demo will go ahead with or without you. I would think it more important to honour your agreement and go for dinner together.

mummmy2017 · 02/09/2019 09:56

Be honest the demo will achieve nothing.
Go to dinner, and just take a photo of the demo as it passes no one will know , but you can Facebook it and it will reach more people, than a faceless body in a crowd ..

Sirzy · 02/09/2019 09:57

Yabu.

You have made plans for a rare night out.

Alsohuman · 02/09/2019 09:58

It would be no contest for me - demo every time. It’s really important that this apology for a government is held to account.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 02/09/2019 10:00

I would go to the demo but with DH. But then I've stood on picket lines with DS when he was at primary school, so he would have understood it was important to me. You could go for a meal after.

Tolleshunt · 02/09/2019 10:05

FWIW, the way he became PM is much more democratic than the way Corbyn is now hoping to get into power but ok!

Oh dear, the tiresome tit for tat we seem to be stuck in, in this country. Does it never occur to you that perhaps we should expect better of all our politicians, rather than excuse them on the basis that somebody from the other tribe might to something slightly worse? That it would be better to think through issues and how best to respond to them, rather than just do a knee-jerk? No wonder our political system is in the state it is.

OP, YANBU. If the march is important to you thenof course you should go. Why can’t DH wait for you? Try turning the tables: if you, and the meal, were important to him, he would wait a while.

MaximusHeadroom · 02/09/2019 10:07

FWIW, the way he became PM is much more democratic than the way Corbyn is now hoping to get into power but ok!

Biscuit
AmIThough · 02/09/2019 10:09

@Tolleshunt I don't disagree that we should expect better of all of them.

IMO the Conservatives should have elected a new leader and we should then have a new general election.
But that's not how the system works. It's not Boris Johnson's fault.

Shoxfordian · 02/09/2019 10:12

Going to a demo will make no difference at all.

pasturesgreen · 02/09/2019 10:15

Can't you do both? What time is the demo anyway? You and DH both go, stay for however long you feel like then go for dinner. You staying for all or just part of the demo is going to make sweet fuck all difference anyway.

Alsohuman · 02/09/2019 10:17

Johnson prorogued Parliament. I’d say that’s absolutely his fault. Who else could be blamed?

BonnesVacances · 02/09/2019 10:21

Go to the demo on your own and then meet DH for dinner.

And tell him that if everyone thought the same as him, there'd be no one protesting for anything, ever! But also that if everyone going took their apathetic DP, there'd be twice as many people there.

Tolleshunt · 02/09/2019 10:22

That’s it, AlsoHuman. No, he’s not personally responsible for the current political set-up. Yes, he absolutely is responsible for deliberately trying to block our democratically elected representatives from scrutinising the manner of our exit.

Given he is unelected as PM by the electorate, and therefore has no actual personal mandate as PM, the prorogation is therefore even more reprehensible and undemocratic.

Malvinaa81 · 02/09/2019 10:25

There has not been a coup.

So there is no need for a demonstration to stop one.

Lots of people didn't like Thatcher- but we all had to put up with her.
Same with Blair.

Alsohuman · 02/09/2019 10:27

Neither Thatcher nor Blair closed down Parliament.

InterestingView · 02/09/2019 10:34

YABU and ridiculous.

Original poster
PaulaProctor · 02/09/2019 10:38

Both Thatcher and Blair did things that people came out in droves to protest against. DH has called BJ savage but he doesn't see the demo as achieving anything. He sees practical solutions to things and think we need to prepare for global events on a personal scale.

I will talk to him about having dinner somewhere else...

OP posts:
LtJudyHopps · 02/09/2019 10:38

I wish there was a vote on this one. YABVU. You don’t make plans and then cancel when something else comes along!

pinkyredrose · 02/09/2019 10:41

Ffs put your husband first instead of acting like an angry anarchist student!