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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stop the coup demo instead of meal with DH

91 replies

PaulaProctor · 02/09/2019 09:46

Our DC will be at their grandparents for one night this week, so I suggested a meal out with DH.
Since then I found out there is a 'stop the coup' demonstration in our town. It coincides with when I would be meeting DH in the town he works in.
We hardly ever get to go out together so DH is annoyed that I want to go to the demo instead of meeting him for an evening out.
He sees the demo as pointless and ultimately not achieving anything. I see it as an outlet for my utter rage at the savage man who has been allowed to take the reins of this country in such an undemocratic way and he is going to destroy us because he fundamentally doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself and his position of power. I am talking BJ here of course.
SO, AIBU to want to ditch a rare night out for a demo?

OP posts:
FuckFacePlatapus · 02/09/2019 16:21

@Alsohuman The Remoaners are to blame for every bit of this, the Referendum was decided by a vote which at every opportunity given they have done their best to stop it. Democracy my arseHmm

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 02/09/2019 16:22

If you are generally politically minded and quite active in that regard then your DH will have known this about you already. If this is the first time you have ever expressed robust political views then I suppose he is entitled to feel surprised.

For what it is worth my view is that some things are more important that dinner out and this is one of them. It is a pity that your DH won’t come with you and catch a romantic sneaky meal / takeaway after.

Krisskrosskiss · 02/09/2019 16:25

I mean how long is this demo gonna be? Not more than a few hours surely and you wouldnt have to stay the whole length of time... I'd have my doubts about any man who got stroppy because I wouldnt have dinner with them at the exact time they wanted to have dinner basically because they didnt want me to be passionate about something they weren't personally interested in... that's just a little bit controlling isnt it? Even if he doesnt want to go himself of he really cared about you as an individual hed say 'I can see this is very important to you, let's meet up afterwards and do something'

MagpieSong · 02/09/2019 16:26

I'd go to the demo, then go to dinner - but we often do demos together and as a family so it wouldn't be unusual for us. Personally, I am with you on this. I agree with Krisskrosskiss that it is a rare occurance and should take priority. Many would disagree with me, but dinner is something that can be rearranged or done afterwards - most demos can be relatively quick to go to. A local rally is smaller and will not last as long as a large march organised a long time in advance, but even a long march doesn't take all night. Would he compromise seeing as you feel strongly about it? He shouldn't make you feel guilty for feeling strongly about something and wanting to show support. He might feel demos will make 'no difference', but unless he himself is coming up with the big global solution to change things then it is worth a try. Demos have been successful in the past.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 02/09/2019 16:26

And in my view it is absolutely not pointless. Please do not confuse a person’s stance on Brexit with the early suspension of parliament. Even some leavers disapprove of this action and believe it to be undemocratic. It is a huge affront on our democracy and a stand against it matters.

Brefugee · 02/09/2019 16:52

Go together. Sometimes plans do have to change - if you feel as though attending would be good for you, do it.

The Monday gatherings in Leipzig started off as something relatively small and they spread and spread and in the end The Wall came down. Due to other things too but the demos were a hugely important part of that.

BigFatLiar · 02/09/2019 16:56

If you'd rather go to the demo go, if you'd rather go to dinner with your OH go to dinner. If you want to go to the demo don't force him to go if he doesn't want to.

If I were your OH I'd be a bit put out if you called off the dinner to go to a demo, put in my place in your priorities.

Saddler · 02/09/2019 16:56

Heard it all now

Dogsarebetterthancatsok · 02/09/2019 17:00

It’s not a coup

JacquesHammer · 02/09/2019 17:03

I’d be so disappointed if my husband didn’t appreciate how important something like this was.

YANBU OP. There will be other time for dinner

Peanutbutterforever · 02/09/2019 17:23

Go for dinner, you accepted that first. There are other marches.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 02/09/2019 17:36

You could write BJ a strongly worded letter, getting out all your frustrations and go for dinner with your DH. Win win

If you do this, I can guarantee BJ will never even know about it. It will fall on the desk of a drafter in No 10 who will log that you have written, categorise it as "complaint about government decision" and send you a standard postcard back thanking you for writing. In about 3 months, a report will be produced for the comms team showing how many letters came under that category, and it will just feed into stats on how long it took for you to be sent a reply.

Writing to the PM is unlikely to do anything. He doesn't even see a lot of the letters sent in by VIP correspondents personally. It does not matter if the letter is strongly worded or not, you may as well say "Boris, old chap, I'm a little bit unhappy at this decision". That would be categorised exactly the same as "BJ you are a disgrace to the human race".

Being there at a demo is much more visual a way of showing your dissent.

Original poster
PaulaProctor · 02/09/2019 17:49

Thanks for all your interesting replies.

I put it to DH that he could come back from work, meet me in town and I would put the money from the train ticket towards dinner.

We are going to watch a film and have a take away after the demo (which only lasts one hour and ends at his usual arriving at the station time).

So, even though all is wrong with the world in general, all is balanced in this little situation Wink

OP posts:
PostNotInHaste · 02/09/2019 17:59

Glad you have managed to sort it. I think you are right and would have done the same. Luckily my DH was all fir coming with me to one we went to at the weekend so wasn’t an issue for me.

Alsohuman · 02/09/2019 17:59

Excellent result, OP, compromise is always good.

@FuckFacePlatapus, no idea why you singled me out but the only two people who are responsible for prorogueing Parliament are Johnson and his puppet master, Cummings.

Tolleshunt · 02/09/2019 18:05

FuckFacePlatypus you win the award today for highest level of delusion on MN, up against some stiff competition.

It’s really amazing how some people can be so doggedly wedded to ideology (or so comprehensively manipulated by propaganda), that they fail to grasp the reality that is before their eyes.

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