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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Stop the coup demo instead of meal with DH

91 replies

PaulaProctor · 02/09/2019 09:46

Our DC will be at their grandparents for one night this week, so I suggested a meal out with DH.
Since then I found out there is a 'stop the coup' demonstration in our town. It coincides with when I would be meeting DH in the town he works in.
We hardly ever get to go out together so DH is annoyed that I want to go to the demo instead of meeting him for an evening out.
He sees the demo as pointless and ultimately not achieving anything. I see it as an outlet for my utter rage at the savage man who has been allowed to take the reins of this country in such an undemocratic way and he is going to destroy us because he fundamentally doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself and his position of power. I am talking BJ here of course.
SO, AIBU to want to ditch a rare night out for a demo?

OP posts:

Selmababies · 02/09/2019 10:58

The majority of these replies are so depressing.
If, as you say, going to the demo will provide you with an outlet for your anger about the situation, then go to it!
You won't regret deferring a meal with your DH occassionally, but you may always regret not standing up to be counted.

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 02/09/2019 11:01

Honestly I’d rather go for dinner, would I cancel dinner for this no I wouldn’t.

This demo will achieve what? When will you people realise the government do as they wish, they really couldn’t give a fuck about your demo. It will achieve absolutely nothing..

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 02/09/2019 11:03

The majority of these replies are so depressing.

Its not depressing. The reality is 1 person not going to a demo will not make a difference. The OP wants to go to the Demo instead of spending quality time with her DH, which she admit is a rarity.

In the long run no one ever lay on their death bed wishing they had spent more time protesting political change rather then with the people they love and who are important to them.

I'm not saying the demo is not important to the OP but she had already made plans to spend time with her DH. This presumably is also important to her and therefore she is indeed unreasonable to not honour those plans.

chomalungma · 02/09/2019 11:08

People telling you not to go the demo probably have their own agenda.

As do those telling you to to the demo.

Personally, if you feel strongly about this, then make your voice heard.

chomalungma · 02/09/2019 11:11

n the long run no one ever lay on their death bed wishing they had spent more time protesting political change rather then with the people they love and who are important to them

Depends on the effect that political change had, surely.....

Some people have laid down their lives for political change so their family and loved ones can have a better future....

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 02/09/2019 11:13

The reality is 1 person not going to a demo will not make a difference

But if everyone had this view, nobody would go and things would continue on without any dissent, by people sleepwalking into it because they couldn't be arsed to put themselves out

chomalungma · 02/09/2019 11:14

But if everyone had this view, nobody would go and things would continue on without any dissent, by people sleepwalking into it because they couldn't be arsed to put themselves out

This.

Alsohuman · 02/09/2019 11:15

Multiply one person by many thousands and you swiftly see how ridiculous that argument is.

chomalungma · 02/09/2019 11:21

When will you people realise the government do as they wish, they really couldn’t give a fuck about your demo. It will achieve absolutely nothing

For every person who demonstrates, there are probably many more who feel the same way but haven't been able to demonstrate. These people will make their views on a subject known at the ballot box.

The power of the people should not be underestimated.

Wereeaglesdare · 02/09/2019 11:22

To the dickhead that said about corbyn, the people wanted corbyn in power and didn't want another blairite leader. Time we get true labour in. Sick of the shitty attitudes to corbyn as soon as Johnson is mentioned it's pathetic. The man isn't even in power and he gets blamed for fucking everything. By working class people no doubt shame on you who vote for tory scumbags who are working class.

OP this is about your principles and standing up for what you believe in and if you feel that you need to do that you go right ahead and you do it. Atleast you can say you tried to make a change. I have a baby and no childcare otherwise I would be there too to be on the right side of history.

Why can't your husband go with you and you grab food after.
Oh sorry this is mumsnet where everyone believes thay we should put our fellas before everything even our beliefs. Wait unless he called you fat or watched porn LTB.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 02/09/2019 11:25

Multiply one person by many thousands and you swiftly see how ridiculous that argument is.

I appreciate that but in this situation the one person (the OP) not going really wont make a difference. Others will still go and the OP can show her support in other ways and I'm sure she and others will do so. Just as they would if they had arranged to go to the Demo and then been too unwell to do so. You can still make a difference even if you do not go to a Demo.

However that doesn't change the fact that choosing to go to the Demo rather than spend time with her DH as planned is still unreasonable.

Alsohuman · 02/09/2019 11:26

What other ways are available to show her disgust at democracy being binned?

ChicCroissant · 02/09/2019 11:31

I'm not in favour of what Boris has done, but there's no way I'd cancel a meal for it tbh! You can show what you think at the next election.

Justanotherlurker · 02/09/2019 11:39

By working class people no doubt shame on you who vote for tory scumbags who are working class.

And momentum and some labour supporters wonder why they are losing support.

Inb4 "muh right wing media!!!"

OP go to the demo if you feel strongly about it, the fact you are asking for confirmation almost seems like you are treating it as a chance for some instagram likes rather than something in which you strongly believe

Chunkers · 02/09/2019 11:46

You could write BJ a strongly worded letter, getting out all your frustrations and go for dinner with your DH. Win win!

Ligresa · 02/09/2019 11:50

I can't think of anything nicer than a lovely meal out with my dh.

Hard to think of anything worse than ditching that for a miserable demo.

Wonkybanana · 02/09/2019 11:52

OP how would you feel if the roles were reversed? You had plans for a child free dinner with your DH, all arranged, and then something came up that DH felt strongly about and wanted to go to (on his own) instead. You didn't feel so strongly but thought that approaching it in a different way was better, no need for him to back out of the dinner?

RosesAndRaindrops · 02/09/2019 11:53

Yeah, I'm with your DH on this one.
You say you rarely get time together, you make plans to have dinner, then ditch him when something better comes along?
Er no, that's well rude sorry. You made plans with him first.
YABVU.

Ligresa · 02/09/2019 11:58

Tbh, if everything goes tits up, having a loving happy relationship is probably the best way to weather it. Worth investing time and energy in.

Alsohuman · 02/09/2019 11:59

Yes, definitely write Johnson a strongly worded letter, I’m sure he’ll read it and change his policy immediately.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 02/09/2019 12:09

Yes, definitely write Johnson a strongly worded letter, I’m sure he’ll read it and change his policy immediately.

To be honest he would probably take as much notice of it as he would the Demo so neither is a more worthwhile use of the Op's time.

newtb · 02/09/2019 12:09

There's a history of PM's not being elected - Jim Callaghan, Gordon Brown, to name but 2. Plus ça change plus la même chose.

Original poster

PaulaProctor · 02/09/2019 12:13

First @pinkyredrose 😂😂😂 anarchist student 😂😂😂 I was an apathetic student in the nineties so I finally have some fire in my belly about something in my 40s.
I am not on Instagram so I wouldn't be tagging myself etc. I fucking hate myself in photos so really it is not for likes.

The reason I posted on Mumsnet was because my DH is being sulky about it but I genuinely believe that this is an exceptional circumstance. DH often guilts me into things but I just can't keep reading the lies BJ spouts and not show my outrage. An election is a manipulative thing anyway because those in power use it to their advantage in situations like this.
DH is of the same opinion as a PP who said that the people in power don't give a fuck. I still think that I should on this occasion show that I do give a fuck.

OP posts:

Chunkers · 02/09/2019 12:16

The point of the letter is an outlet for her rage, clearly neither the letter or demo will make a difference to BJ.

Alsohuman · 02/09/2019 12:17

@newtb, these demonstrations are nothing to do with Johnson being unelected. They’re about him prorogueing Parliament. A bit of Delboy French doesn’t prove you know what you’re talking about.

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