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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Friend helped herself to Calpol while house-sitting

254 replies

Usernamqwerty · 31/08/2019 17:43

Got a message from my friend (call her L) who had been house-sitting and dog-sitting (for no pay) for her friend ('D') who has a lovely massive house while D was away. L told me that she felt unwell and helped herself to some Calpol in the house. However, she forgot to replace it and now D is going bananas at her saying it wasn't there when her son needed it. L doesn't know what to do... was she BU in using it in the first place? 🤔

OP posts:

Bambamber · 31/08/2019 19:53

If she is so notorious for doing this, why do you all keep having in your house when you're not there?

ThirstyGhost · 31/08/2019 19:55

Sooooo lucky to have a friend who will stay in your house to dog sit like that for nothing. We have an anxious rescue who can't be left on his own. She could get off her tits on all the medication in my cupboard and create jam art on the wall for all I care as long as DDog has been looked after lovingly in his own home.

onalongsabbatical · 31/08/2019 20:03

I do unpaid house/animal sits through an agency. It's an exchange - I get a hol, they get a responsible housesitter. It is absolutely standard to be shown round at the beginning and to be told to please help myself to anything. I think the issue is that she didn't say, by the way, you're now out of Calpol. If I used something up - especially a medication - I'd replace or make sure the house owner was aware.

Original poster

Usernamqwerty · 31/08/2019 20:04

Oh, I've started some debates here 😆. I wouldn't normally begrudge someone some jam (I'm not made of stone!) but that was just one example of her helping herself to stuff without asking first. If she'd told me she was hungry, I would have made her something from a jar or packet which was already open. I was saving the jam for something else and because I am paranoid about getting ill from food (we got the norovirus on Christmas Eve!), I followed the instructions on the jar.

Opening someone's stuff without asking is rude IMO or CF as you would say here 😉.

OP posts:

Chopbob · 31/08/2019 20:07

Ha ha ha this wild. You are all nuts! Its calpol and jam ffs

mathanxiety · 31/08/2019 20:13

It's 'only calpol' until your baby needs it at 1 am and there's none left because a grown adult used it and didn't bother telling you or replacing it.

CanuckBC · 31/08/2019 20:14

I have a dog and cats. Whenever I have a critter sitter over I tell them to help themselves to whatever they want or need. Be it medication that is not prescribed, jam, legal drinks for them etc. It’s their home for the amount of time they are staying here. If there is something I don’t want them to have, I would put it away.

Gasp, I also pay them to take care of my home and critters! I also ask if there is any food/drink/snacks they would like! I want them to like being in the house so they spend time with my critters.

L is batshit to expect someone to stay just for the pleasure of being free in her home!

CanuckBC · 31/08/2019 20:15

Oops! I think I messed up the initials! You get my drift though

JacquesHammer · 31/08/2019 20:21

It's 'only calpol' until your baby needs it at 1 am and there's none left because a grown adult used it and didn't bother telling you or replacing it

Except this didn’t happen so it would seem a little OTT for D to be so annoyed wouldn’t it?

I think D needs to pay for proper dog sitters. Although I would imagine that would cost substantially more than a bottle of Calpol which by the OP’s admission was easy to replace.

tigger001 · 31/08/2019 20:33

When my friends are in my home, they can help themselves to anything. If I was precious about anything I would probably put away somewhere.

It's an overreaction to go "bannanas" for a first offence, but I would be angry if I went to use Calpol upon my DS falling ill through the night and it had all gone without being told so I could replace it.

mathanxiety · 31/08/2019 20:33

JacquesHammer Except this didn’t happen so it would seem a little OTT for D to be so annoyed wouldn’t it?

However, she forgot to replace it and now D is going bananas at her saying it wasn't there when her son needed it. OP
The impression I get from the statement by the OP is that she did need it, and that there was none when she went to get it.

You would only need it if you suspected the baby was in pain or because the baby was running a high temp, so I believe my assumption is correct here.

Yes, it's easy to replace, but equally it's easy to either tell the woman she used it up, or replace it herself.

It's thoughtless and callous to use up a baby's medicine and walk away.

Spingtrolls · 31/08/2019 20:34

Like I said up post I buy when needed.
There were that it was needed and there was none.
There were times it was needed and couldn’t be used.
I could go on. In the grand scheme of things it is ‘only calpol’.
I can understand if you are in remote area. But with a 24 hour Tesco down the road, doesn’t sound like it.

JacquesHammer · 31/08/2019 20:37

The OP said “I think D was more annoyed at the principle of L helping herself to stuff and not saying anything“

Doesn’t really suggest a mass panic because they’d run out!

mathanxiety · 31/08/2019 20:47

She is 'going bananas' because it wasn't there when her son needed it.

I would surmise that she is also angry that a principle of politeness has been ignored by the feckless L.

But she did need it and found none.

LillithsFamiliar · 31/08/2019 20:50

I think leaving a child without medicine is pretty poor tbh. We had a year when DC kept getting ill and had very high temps. If I'd gone to give them Calpol and it was missing because a house-sitter had finished it, I wouldn't be happy. It's not so much that they used it (although I am in the camp of why would an adult take Calpol - it's obviously for DCs?) but the fact that they didn't let me know so I could replace it before the DC needed it.

JacquesHammer · 31/08/2019 20:52

I would surmise that she is also angry that a principle of politeness has been ignored by the feckless L

The feckless L who is dog sitting for free....? In that situation wouldn’t you work on the basis “she’s doing me a favour, happy for her to use whatever”.

I think D should say something to L. If only to give L the opportunity to refuse to dog sit again for someone so highly strung!

mathanxiety · 31/08/2019 20:55

She isn't owed the last drop of the baby's medicine for dog sitting, JacquesHammer

mathanxiety · 31/08/2019 20:57

If she's not happy to dog sit for free it's passive aggressive to help herself to necessities instead of telling D and the OP that she would like to be paid.

JacquesHammer · 31/08/2019 20:57

She isn't owed the last drop of the baby's medicine for dog sitting, JacquesHammer

Your hyperbolic turn of phrase is amusing me

JacquesHammer · 31/08/2019 20:59

If she's not happy to dog sit for free it's passive aggressive to help herself to necessities instead of telling D and the OP that she would like to be paid

Using painkillers is passive aggressive now? God your life must be a trial to you!

Isn’t the most likely event that L simply forgot? In which case D would be a twat to mention it when L was doing a favour.

Or are you fondly imagining L laughing evilly whilst deliberately chugging calpol to deprive D’s kids?

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 31/08/2019 20:59

Lol at the idea that L is stockpiling for Brexit crunchymum 🤣

LegoPiecesEverywhere · 31/08/2019 21:01

Gosh no good deed goes unpunished.

I would certainly not begrudge a friend minding my pets for FREE Calpol, jam or the entire contents of my house. She forgot to replace it and was unwell. Big deal. D was totally rude and ungrateful. I hope L never does her a favour again. I also hope D stocked up the fridge for L and gave her a large gift on return but I suspect not.

mathanxiety · 31/08/2019 21:02

There was no medicine left when D needed it for her baby. It's very likely she used it all as she is an adult and the dosage for an adult is a lot of Calpol. How is 'last drop of the baby's medicine' hyperbole?

The alternative is that D is a raging harpy who needs to take a chill pill.

LegoPiecesEverywhere · 31/08/2019 21:02

Also everyone is assuming there was a screaming baby in the middle of the night who needed Calpol. Op has made no mention of the age of the child or that they are a baby. Also no time of day mentioned.

daisychain01 · 31/08/2019 21:04

It never ceases to amaze me what people get annoyed about.

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