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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Friend helped herself to Calpol while house-sitting

254 replies

Usernamqwerty · 31/08/2019 17:43

Got a message from my friend (call her L) who had been house-sitting and dog-sitting (for no pay) for her friend ('D') who has a lovely massive house while D was away. L told me that she felt unwell and helped herself to some Calpol in the house. However, she forgot to replace it and now D is going bananas at her saying it wasn't there when her son needed it. L doesn't know what to do... was she BU in using it in the first place? 🤔

OP posts:

LolaSmiles · 31/08/2019 18:44

I think it was weird to use Calpol but if that's all there was then it's reasonable to use it. It's not reasonable not to tell anyone though.
It sounds like this friend is a bit of a chancer and helps herself to stuff all the time. I'd imagine having no Calpol for a poorly child was the straw that broke the camel's back

Crunchymum · 31/08/2019 18:45

Why does L need so much medication?

(Not that Calpol is going to do much for her, but its been mentioned she helps herself to medication in other instances.... maybe she is stockpiling for Brexit )

mathanxiety · 31/08/2019 18:49

I think L is a bit of a cheeky fucker here, and D isn't one bit unreasonable.

You need to ask L to stop helping herself when at yours if you don't like it. She is way too free and easy with other people's stuff.
(But jam will keep for years in the fridge and it's perfectly fine to eat.)

You don't use up a baby's medicine and not tell the mother. You don't use a baby's medicine, full stop.

YY to NotSuchASmugMarriedNow and others - L could easily have gone out to the 24 hour supermarket to get herself some liquid pain relief for herself.

Baguetteaboutit · 31/08/2019 18:50

I reckon D came back from holiday and L had been using her toothpaste, eating her marmalade, showering with her body wash, using her make-up and with each half-used discovery she consoled herself that L was cheaper than a dog sitter but then lost her shit when her kid's running a midnight fever and she finds L guzzled the calpol.

IdblowJonSnow · 31/08/2019 18:53

I have and would use Calpol if no alternative meds, it does take the edge off!
Wouldn't be baby sitting again for that friend!

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 31/08/2019 18:54

Was there none left at all?

Did L not think if there was only a little left it's best not to take it? That said, I'd have been mildy miffed at L but I wouldnt lose my shit over it.

StarlingsInSummer · 31/08/2019 18:56

I wouldn’t mind L using the carpool but I’d be a bit annoyed if she’d used the last of it and neither mentioned it nor replaced it, and I’d only found it at 3pm when DS became ill. I doubt I’d mention it though, if D had just house sat for me. So I think they’re both being a bit unreasonable.

mathanxiety · 31/08/2019 18:57

Agree Baguetteaboutit.

elvis86 · 31/08/2019 18:59

*I think L is a bit of a cheeky fucker here, and D isn't one bit unreasonable.

Are people missing the fact that L was house and dog sitting for a friend?!

Was she unreasonable to use anything in the house? Condiments? Should she have invested in some motorway-services-style sachets? Would you have expected her to bring her own loo roll? Or is it ok for her to just count the sheets she used and replace the exact amount before she left?

TheWernethWife · 31/08/2019 19:00

I'm confused about the words "helped herself to Calpol". What was she supposed to do, phone D and ask for her permission. Bloody hell, if someone was dog and house sitting for me with no pay, they could "help themselves to anything" - think D is the CF in this case not L.

Spingtrolls · 31/08/2019 19:03

And the ridiculous jam story.
Come on, you cannot have been that interested in it considering no one else in the house had eaten any.

Mummyoflittledragon · 31/08/2019 19:07

It was jam made from fairy poo. Only explanation.

Timandra · 31/08/2019 19:12

I don't think it's at all weird for her to have used the Calpol. It is brilliant on sore throats.

Sceptre86 · 31/08/2019 19:13

She should have taken some paracetamol instead of calpol or waited until she got home to take some. I don't think she was unreasonable to take it but she should have replaced it if the bottle finished or at least mentioned it to the other friend so she could have got some in. Next time she should think twice about dog sitting for free and always keep some paracetamol or calpol sachets in her handbag!

KUGA · 31/08/2019 19:14

Bring back hanging.ffs

mathanxiety · 31/08/2019 19:16

elvis this is what I said - "You need to ask L to stop helping herself when at yours" if you don't like it.
If the OP is fine with it (but I don't think she is) then no need to bring it up.

If she has said 'help yourself to anything you fancy' then L could assume she meant what she said, though it would still be strange to take that literally.

Politeness would dictate that you don't use up the last of anything and also that you don't open a brand new tub or jar or tube if there is already one opened. It makes a difference if there was already an open jar of jam and she casually opened a new one.

Also, you wouldn't use a personal item like toothpaste, lube, etc. Using up a child's medicine or using the entire contents of the only box of necessary items like tampons is cheeky fuckery and incredibly rude. Same goes for using all the loo paper.

You have to replace all the necessary stuff you use up.

She should have brought along her own calpol or other medical necessities if she was to be there for any length of time.

elvis86 · 31/08/2019 19:22

mathanxiety - that's not what you said.

You said that D isn't one bit unreasonable and that you think L is a bit of a cheeky fucker here and way too free and easy with other people's stuff.

I cannot believe you would genuinely begrudge a friend using loo paper whilst house and dog-sitting for you!

How do people like you actually maintain friendships?!

Reastie · 31/08/2019 19:23

I take calpol if I need paracetamol as I can’t swallow tablets and the ones that fizz upset my stomach. It’s no biggie you just take the adult medication dose. Costs a small fortune in comparison though. We spent a lot on meltlets when I had a csection! I have nurofen meltlets for the same reason (although these are aimed at adults)

user1493413286 · 31/08/2019 19:26

If it all got used then of course the one who used it all is unreasonable. If my DD needed calpol and I couldn’t find any because someone had used it then I’d be livid. My DD is 2 though so can’t wait for me to go to the shop when she’s screaming in pain with her teeth still coming through

KurriKurri · 31/08/2019 19:31

If D lives close to a 24hr supermarket, then surely it was just as easy for L to go and get herself some paracetamol as it ws for L to go and get more calpol.
But anyway I think they are all mad - why doesn't L have any adult meds in her house, why doesn't L bring her own meds. I don;t think house and dog sitting for free entitles you to do whatever the hell you like in someone;s house. But you should be allowed to use any food or cleaning type of stuff.
But OP found the jam eating a bit annoying - I would find someone eating jam less annoying than an adult guzzling calpol. But I wouldn't have an attack of the vapours about either 'crime'.

Yestermo · 31/08/2019 19:41

You and D are very tight. A dog sitter costs upwards of £30 a night.

MindyStClaire · 31/08/2019 19:42

I'm on the fence about the Calpol - not unreasonable for L to use it, but not great that she didn't replace, and if I found myself without in the middle of the night with a sick child, I doubt I'd be at my most rational.

The jam story is jaw droppingly stingy though. Who would deny their friend a bit of jam?! If she'd asked to open it would you actually have said no?!

TatianaLarina · 31/08/2019 19:46

I don’t think anyone in this story is very intelligent.

mathanxiety · 31/08/2019 19:47

I cannot believe you would genuinely begrudge a friend using loo paper whilst house and dog-sitting for you!

You are right not to believe that.
I wouldn't begrudge loo paper . Or a box of tissues, or rolls of kitchen paper, etc.

But an entire box of tampons or a child's medicine that were neither mentioned nor replaced - yes. Because that is cheeky fuckery.

I also wouldn't ask a friend to house sit or dog sit for me for free. But heyho.

justasking111 · 31/08/2019 19:50

When we went away left two dogs, two cats, hens and ducks. Filled fridge and freezer with food paid £40 a day for friends daughter and boyfriend to stay. But if I found in the middle of the night the Calpol was gone I might have gone loco.

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