In thinking that men don't leave their wives and children for an OW with kids?

[CheezePlant]

Surely this is very unlikely to happen right? As it's just jumping from one family to another? And for the most part they leave because they can't cope with the whole family situation?

Correct me if I'm wrong. And I guess I CAN see that maybe some people who are both married just truly fall in love but how horrible to leave your own children to essentially go and live with someone else's?! How must that effect the children growing up too?

@Courtney555 my DP and a friend's partner left their wives because they could no longer put up with their behaviour.

Both men have no problem doing housework, cooking, looking after children and animals.

OP I worked at a place where it seemed that a quarter of the people had decided to not only cheat but then shack up with a non-single colleague regardless of whether they had children or not. It was a running joke of how not to be sucked in.

My Dad did, twice. It happens. He then went back to Mum after a year with the OW. 11 years later, rinse and repeat, with a family friend, whose kids were adults, as were my brother and I by that point. That one lasted.

As you can see from theseamy replies, they do!

My poor dd. I'm so worried about her. Her dad left 5 years ago (in fact, this weekend) and she is really struggling. Her behaviour is horrendous. Massive anxiety. The things she comes out with. She definitely thinks the OW dd (same age) is favoured over her. It breaks my heart.

Her little sister was only just 12mths when he left, so honestly, it hasn't affected her on the same way. She does get upset as to why her dad can't live with us though.

I bloody hate men. 17 years FFS! I haven't met a decent one yet. I don't think I'll ever fully trust one again

A woman can be fertilised then dumped with little social penalty.

Unfortunately I do think that this is very true. I got dumped whilst pregnant to my BF of some years. He didn’t cheat, but he definitely wanted out of responsibility. He’d had kids previously and been married. We met 5 years after his separation, and I foolishly thought he was quite the family man because he had the kids more than the mother. I was wrong. Both parents in this case used the separation to go back to single lives again whilst their children still needed them. Not good.

My DF also ran off whilst us children were young, he didn’t like the responsibility and we didn’t see him for months afterwards. We were too young to feel angry with him, just totally confused. Now DF acts as if he was always there, he wasn’t. I tried to talk to him about it but he refuses to acknowledge he abandoned us. He infers it was his marriage at fault. It wasn’t. He was just selfish.

So hard! My own childhood was definitely broken by my father leaving. Utterly broken. And now my own kids have had to go through the same.

What’s going on? Are we so pro divorce and choice that we dare not call into question people leaving the family?

Ethics. Morals. Decency. Respect.

We all need this. Its starts within us. Its starts in our daily lives. When we enter a shop we should strive to be the best customer the shop assistant has ever experienced. Demanding service as a matter of right is wrong. But that's the trend it seems - it's all about "ME". If we can be gentle in other ways we start to become different.

The best thing a man can do is look after his children. Then after that the mother of his children, even if they are not together. Other women come further down in priority.

It's not rocket science. But it is common decency.

I suppose men and women have always had children to different partners.
The difference is they often stayed with their spouse due to societal pressures and had affairs. Now it's easier for the cheated on partner to !I'm them out, or the cheated to lea e for the ow/om.
Thinking about it lots of my school friends didn't look like their siblings/parents at all. Nowadays most do.
In fact I had a distant relative who looked totally different in every way from her siblings. Her personality was different too. Turned out she was the result of her mum having a affair with another man.
I'm not suggesting that everyone who doesn't look like their father is not their father 's child, but it does make you wonder.

My DH did exactly this. Left wife and 4 children for me (I had 3 children at home at the time)

Men are no more subject to 'group think' than women are. The reasons for leaving a family are many a varied - and rarely formulaic.
Despite MN loving the 'Marry the mistress create a vacancy' 'Once a cheat always a cheat' platitudes.. they are rarely realistic. Human beings are complicated and their relationships even more so.

A lot of men are just bored with their partner and want something new. Hence the reason why affairs are so common.The kids issue isn’t really a stumbling block as in general the men who have done this were not that into kids anyway with either their first wife or 2nd. For me they are quite selfish and it’s all about their needs and wants.

My ex husband left me and our 4 kids, for a women with 2 kids. They are the same age as my two youngest. My kids have chosen not to see him

My xh did. The ow had a child the same age as ours so being a dad wasn't the reason, he never did say why.

My dad left my mum for a woman with a daughter exactly the same age as me.

Same with me my ex dp left me when my son was new born for a woman with one son
They married had two more kids and he adopted her son
This reduced my maintenance to 0
However they moved abroad. But a few years later he got her to come back to the uk where he told her he was going back abroad and they he had someone else
A woman with one kid and he’s just had another one in his 50s
Makes me sound like bitch but it serves his first wife right and I occasionally see her out when I’m
With my DH and I feel 100 percent smug that he did to her what he did to me but only 100 times worse as she had to completely start again with nothing