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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I’m wasting my time with this man

113 replies

TheNameChanger1 · 30/08/2019 17:50

First time posting on AIBU...here goes!
Will keep this brief. I’ve been dating a man for nearly three months now, he has been single for three years after a long term relationship ended.
He called me today while I was at work which is unusual for him and he told me he had just found out his ex has had a baby with her new partner and he is very upset. His exact words were: “I think I’m about to throw up.” He said he’d also called his mum as well to speak to her about it.
He said he thinks he would have taken the news much worse if he wasn’t dating me, as I’m a good distraction and we are getting on well Shock He said he couldn’t bare to be single knowing his ex is loved up and now has a baby.
I’m just surprised he felt the need to share that with me. He also said he wanted to congratulate her but was worried that would open old wounds. He then shared a quote on social media saying: “It should have been me.” Cue lots of people responding to that saying WTF is this about?
There’s been a few other comments during the course of this very brief relationship about how she was always ‘the one’ and how he’s finally forgiven himself for letting her go.
This is madness, right? And I should walk away?

OP posts:
TheNameChanger1 · 30/08/2019 21:33

Sooooo...I’ve given him the boot 👍🏻
Funnily enough, when I gave him my reasons he said I’d ‘got the wrong end of the stick’ and pretty much denied the whole conversation we had earlier in the day. He kept saying: “you’ve misunderstood and are making things up in your head.” HmmOh and the social media post was nothing to do with the ex apparently. YEAH RIGHT.

Anyway, I stood my ground and it’s over. Now sitting at home with a bottle of wine watching Netflix feeling like Bridget Jones 😂

OP posts:
PanamaPattie · 30/08/2019 21:39

Gas lighting as well. Enjoy your wine. Wine

SparklyMagpie · 30/08/2019 21:40

Aww nice one OP! I'm sorry because you said you liked him,but boy does that show you eh? Little shit 😂😂

Hey nothing wrong drinking wine feeling like Bridget, atleast you're no longer a prop playing second fiddle !

I'm on the wine too so I'll raise you a glass, well done! 🥂

JudasHisCarrot · 30/08/2019 21:41

He tried to gaslight you too?! You're WELL rid. Well done OP. Enjoy your wine🍷 Onwards and upwards!!

Ohyesiam · 30/08/2019 21:42

Bright jones was a fine woman!
Well done x

Sunflower20 · 30/08/2019 21:43

I wouldn't even call him to dump him, just ghost the bastard

Frownette · 30/08/2019 21:44

Enjoy, have a happy evening!

Elieza · 30/08/2019 21:46

Yeah, walk, you deserve better. He still loves her. Even if he tries to convince himself he doesn’t. He doesn’t even realise what he’s doing to you. Sorry.

1CantPickAName · 30/08/2019 21:46

Good for you, he’s a twat 🍷

madcatladyforever · 30/08/2019 21:47

I would be furious and dump him immediately. He is ridiculous.

mcmooberry · 30/08/2019 21:53

Och you're definitely well rid even if it's sad as it started out so well, he sounds like a buffoon.

ChristItsAlive · 30/08/2019 21:58

This thread makes me very happy Smile OP you’re a superstar. Well done for setting a boundary.

(I’d say block and grey rock/ignore is the best strategy but is it awful that I want to see if he puts a maudlin post up about you dumping him next? Blush)

Patroclus · 30/08/2019 22:04

Get him blocked or prepare to be bombarded with 'ive made the biggest mistake of my life' cliches or him turning up with a radio.

FizzyPink · 30/08/2019 22:13

He sounds awful OP. Get out now while it’s still early days

FizzyPink · 30/08/2019 22:14

Oh sorry, I see you have. Well done you!

Comps83 · 30/08/2019 22:16

I bet this isn’t the first time he’s been dumped for this

gingerbiscuits · 30/08/2019 22:22

I agree - but don't just walk - bloody leg it!! He's not the one!!

BumbleBeee69 · 30/08/2019 22:22

Christ Op well done for drop kicking this clowns arse into oblivion. Enjoy your wine lady Flowers

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 30/08/2019 23:33

Holy shit OP, well done for ditching him. You didn't dodge a bullet - you dodged a flipping nuke head!

Enjoy the rest of your night/freedom Wine

whattodowith · 30/08/2019 23:48

I’m pleased you dumped the twat. I was going to say you should dump him for mentioning having babies after three months let alone the ex stuff!

Techway · 31/08/2019 00:00

So pleased you followed through. Wishing you luck as you deserve it.

soapona · 31/08/2019 00:08

Good for you. Don't go back, enjoy Netflix's

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 31/08/2019 00:11

Well done OP. Massive lucky escape too. “It’s in your head” is red flag territory.
Hope the wine went down well.

dollydaydream114 · 31/08/2019 00:13

he said I’d ‘got the wrong end of the stick’ and pretty much denied the whole conversation we had earlier in the day. He kept saying: “you’ve misunderstood and are making things up in your head.”

Oh Christ, so he's a gaslighter as well? You are SO better off without him, OP. Wine

SorryDidISayThatOutLoud · 31/08/2019 00:21

Well done OP. No one should have to hear about anyone's ex unless they are the ones asking about it.

Much better to break it off than to be second best to someone.

We are proud of you!!