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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I’m wasting my time with this man

113 replies

TheNameChanger1 · 30/08/2019 17:50

First time posting on AIBU...here goes!
Will keep this brief. I’ve been dating a man for nearly three months now, he has been single for three years after a long term relationship ended.
He called me today while I was at work which is unusual for him and he told me he had just found out his ex has had a baby with her new partner and he is very upset. His exact words were: “I think I’m about to throw up.” He said he’d also called his mum as well to speak to her about it.
He said he thinks he would have taken the news much worse if he wasn’t dating me, as I’m a good distraction and we are getting on well Shock He said he couldn’t bare to be single knowing his ex is loved up and now has a baby.
I’m just surprised he felt the need to share that with me. He also said he wanted to congratulate her but was worried that would open old wounds. He then shared a quote on social media saying: “It should have been me.” Cue lots of people responding to that saying WTF is this about?
There’s been a few other comments during the course of this very brief relationship about how she was always ‘the one’ and how he’s finally forgiven himself for letting her go.
This is madness, right? And I should walk away?

OP posts:
Comps83 · 30/08/2019 18:17

3 years as well
He needs help
What are you going to do?

TheNameChanger1 · 30/08/2019 18:17

Supposed to be meeting his parents tomorrow but looks like I’ll be breaking up with him this evening.
Thanks for the replies! I am a bit of an over thinker so wanted to make sure I’m doing the right thing hence the thread

OP posts:
TheNameChanger1 · 30/08/2019 18:19

@Comps83 I know, 3 years is a long time.
He said he’s been angry at himself for messing things up with her and he has only recently been able to forgive himself.

OP posts:
bobstersmum · 30/08/2019 18:21

Pathetic knob, get rid.

wonderwhat · 30/08/2019 18:21

Blimey. He really posted that on social media? What an attention seeking weirdo. Dump him for that alone! Yukk!

SparklyMagpie · 30/08/2019 18:22

Ahaha you should tell him " I am pleased you told me all this and you'll be pleased to know I'll be fucking off! Thanks fucker!"

Governoress86 · 30/08/2019 18:23

I agree with PP, you need to get rid, he clearly is not over her and being in another relationship will not help that.

macpumpkin1 · 30/08/2019 18:23

Don't walk away... ..RUN!

TheNameChanger1 · 30/08/2019 18:23

“Pathetic knob” Grin

OP posts:
Kplpandd · 30/08/2019 18:25

It's a shame for you OP as none of this is your fault but he's clearly still hung up on her. I think you should dump him tonight and sleep well knowing that nobody will be using you as a distraction any longer xx

TheNameChanger1 · 30/08/2019 18:26

Just a random musing here but he’s always saying that he really wants us to settle down and have a baby...I’m now thinking that’s so he can be ‘even’ with his ex

OP posts:
DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 30/08/2019 18:26

To be fair, he pretty much dumped himself. I saw a post on here today which just about summed this man up "He's just a man. They aren't special, there are loads of them".
The next one will be better!

DishingOutDone · 30/08/2019 18:26

he's not over her so can't give himself to you completely - thank fuck for that!! Talk about an unwanted gift ...!!!

TheNameChanger1 · 30/08/2019 18:26

@Kplpandd that’s a lovely post, thank you Flowers

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 30/08/2019 18:27

I agree with you OP, if hes coming out with that shit he's doing it as competition to show his ex " look I've moved on aswell" christ that is low

cosytoaster · 30/08/2019 18:27

Agree with everyone else, walk away before you get any more invested.

NoMustardPlease · 30/08/2019 18:28

Definitely 100% RUN, not walk away.

TheNameChanger1 · 30/08/2019 18:28

I like that @DontDribbleOnTheCarpet
It’s just bloody hard trying to find a decent one Grin

OP posts:
powershowerforanhour · 30/08/2019 18:30

Hand him a wooden spoon as a leaving present. Cos he didn't get his winner's trophy and you're not willing to be the runner-up prize.

SeigneurLapindeGrantham · 30/08/2019 18:30

Goodbye
^
To him not you

Miniloso · 30/08/2019 18:35

He’s been honest with you at least - but extremely insensitive and disrespectful nonetheless. Leave now before you are too invested.

Moondancer73 · 30/08/2019 18:37

Totally wasting your time, he's plainly not worthy and his behaviour was very immature and hurtful. I'd tell him and then dump him. What a stupid man. His loss Thanks

Comps83 · 30/08/2019 18:37

You could post your own memes on sm before blocking him on everything , see how he likes it
But no . Just ring him . I wouldn’t even bother saying it to his face after the way he’s gone on and the shortness of this ‘relationship’. I’d tell him exactly why too

To think I’m wasting my time with this man
To think I’m wasting my time with this man
C0untDucku1a · 30/08/2019 18:38

Please
Dont walk
Away.

RUN!

TheNameChanger1 · 30/08/2019 18:53

Cracking up at the wooden spoon suggestion Grin

Love those memes from @Comps83, especially the first one!

I’m just about to call him to break it off.

OP posts:
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