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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I’m wasting my time with this man

113 replies

TheNameChanger1 · 30/08/2019 17:50

First time posting on AIBU...here goes!
Will keep this brief. I’ve been dating a man for nearly three months now, he has been single for three years after a long term relationship ended.
He called me today while I was at work which is unusual for him and he told me he had just found out his ex has had a baby with her new partner and he is very upset. His exact words were: “I think I’m about to throw up.” He said he’d also called his mum as well to speak to her about it.
He said he thinks he would have taken the news much worse if he wasn’t dating me, as I’m a good distraction and we are getting on well Shock He said he couldn’t bare to be single knowing his ex is loved up and now has a baby.
I’m just surprised he felt the need to share that with me. He also said he wanted to congratulate her but was worried that would open old wounds. He then shared a quote on social media saying: “It should have been me.” Cue lots of people responding to that saying WTF is this about?
There’s been a few other comments during the course of this very brief relationship about how she was always ‘the one’ and how he’s finally forgiven himself for letting her go.
This is madness, right? And I should walk away?

OP posts:
1forAll74 · 30/08/2019 18:56

A bit of a saddo man I think, I wonder what else he will come up with when he thinks about the past, and his ex. There is no knowing of course,but you will maybe find out if you still keep seeing him. !

Patroclus · 30/08/2019 19:49

He does facebook quotes and 'forgiven myself' cliches. Thats enough.

Hotpinkangel19 · 30/08/2019 19:55

Hope it goes well OP. You deserve so much better!

SparklyMagpie · 30/08/2019 20:01

Hope you're alright OP!

Please don't let him talk you round, I can already here his tears and that tiny little violin he's playing

Remember you are so much better than a prop

RocketRacoonsFurryBalls · 30/08/2019 20:07

He doesn’t even deserve a phone call. Just block him everywhere and you’re done.

What an absolute tool!

soapona · 30/08/2019 20:14

I once spoke to a guy online dating he was so bitter about his ex moving on. Then started rambling on about he had moved in with her to her house for 6 years and he was raging he had no claim on her house. He didn't believe in marriage and she split up with him as a result then met someone and got married and had a baby within the year, I thought go girl! Did not message him back, especially after him droning on about how he would be insisting on a pre numpital if he got married (must have thought he was a catch). My house is worth at least triple the price of his. A complete twat.

Stampy84 · 30/08/2019 20:14

Yes, another who agrees to get rid of the bird brains

nanbread · 30/08/2019 20:15

What did he say OP? Hope you're ok, onwards and upwards

PerkyPomPoms · 30/08/2019 20:16

He sounds a right fool

healththrowawayx · 30/08/2019 20:16

Oh dear. I didn’t think it was that bad until his post. That’s ridiculous. She’s the one that got away it seems, where does that leave you?

mcmooberry · 30/08/2019 20:17

I might have understood him feeling rattled and upset by his ex having the baby but the "Should have been me" comment on SM is just unbelievably disrespectful to you. You have done the right thing ending it.

littlepaddypaws · 30/08/2019 20:32

he's realised you are too good for him, well done for getting out !

Ninabean17 · 30/08/2019 20:39

You're absolutely doing the right thing by finishing it. He's been very disrespectful with his comments, I think it's clear where he's at. Hope you have a peaceful evening.

Doormat247 · 30/08/2019 20:40

Glad you're dumping ASAP, it would only get weirder. That Facebook post was ridiculous and pathetic.

I had an ex like that, always banging on about his ex being the one and how he struggled to get over her. They got back together when he dumped me and they lasted 3 days GrinGrinConfused. Then he spent the next year trying to get back with me and trying to break up my relationships Hmm.

TowerRavenSeven · 30/08/2019 20:42

Give him the boot.

Wonderland18 · 30/08/2019 20:42

I hope you chuck him!

SandraOhshair · 30/08/2019 20:47

I hope you've binned him off now. That FB post was sooooooooooooo disrespectful. Never mind the rest of it!

Jojowash · 30/08/2019 20:53

Let go.. he obviously still has huge amount of feelings for her and not the sense to cover it. He's clearly oblivious to your feelings and all wrapped up in himself and how he feels.

He must also still be keeping tabs on what's she's doing to know that.

Not only that, he's airing it on Facebook, no doubt people are messaging him privately to find out what the quote was about. Would be interesting to see what he wrote to them.

I personally would have a comment under that quote. It's out of order. It should have been me?? Wtf how insulting to you.

"But it's not you. Clearly you still have feelings and have publicly made me look like a dick. Get over it on your own, I'm not being used as a distraction, I'm better than that"

georgialondon · 30/08/2019 21:01

Don't be someone's distraction. You have to be their main event! You'll find better.

dollydaydream114 · 30/08/2019 21:03

Well done for ending it, OP. You deserve so much better than this.

BlueJava · 30/08/2019 21:08

Sorry OP, I am with the others! YANBU! There is no way he is over her and I think staying with you is a bit of an insult after he's come out with that lot! But look on the bright side - you have found out and there are better guys out there! Sorry though!

BenjiB · 30/08/2019 21:14

Don’t walk away, run .... fast!

JudasHisCarrot · 30/08/2019 21:15

Good luck with the call OP. Glad to see you know your worth ♥

fandabbyfannyflutters · 30/08/2019 21:24

How did it go?

ohfourfoxache · 30/08/2019 21:30

Wow, what a specimen....

You’re well rid

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