I'm a young mom, I already feel as though people doubt my decisions and choices when it comes to my dd because of my age and I've been in situations where it's seemed as though older women feel as though they know better than me because of this.
I had my dd almost 4 months ago and from day dot my dm has constantly put me down about my decisions regarding dd. I know no one knows my dd better than I do, but dm acts as though she knows better.
A few examples - dd is a cold baby if that makes sense lol, it could be super hot but if I undressed her to a nappy (like my mom would) she would be freezing! So when we had the heatwave recently, my mom undressed dd down to her nappy, I felt her chest and she was freezing! So I started to redress her, dm walked in the room, gave me a dirty look and shouted "why are you doing that?! She's going to be boiling".
-My dm insists on giving dd "tastes" of everything, I have nothing against people who give their dc tastes of foods but personally it's not something I want to do with dd. Multiple occasions dm has tried to give dd a taste of foods, I've told her no numerous times and dm has done it anyway, even snatching food out of my hand to give dd it.
-dm insists on giving dd baby food as soon as she hits 4 months. I've explained I don't feel she's ready yet and want to wait until I think she is, whether that's when she's 4 months or afterwards. Dm has gone out and bought her baby food anyway and says when I'm not around she'll give dd it anyway.
I've explained to dm the general advice is bm until 6 months old, so if I don't feel she's ready until then I won't be giving it her, like said, she's claimed she'll do it when I'm not around anyway. She's also said health care professionals who advise this are spreading "bullshit" and she's had lots of kids her selves so she knows better 🙄 I told her she may have had lots of kids, but she's not my dds mother, so she doesn't know what's best for her like I do.
There's plenty of other situations where I've dealt with dm making me feel like she knows better, for example when she little text me saying she knows how to look after dd better than I do.
It's really bothering me, I know I'm a really good mom to dd. Dm has no reason to treat me/act like this. Dd is healthy, safe and putting on weight amazingly.
She makes me feel like an awful mom, she makes me doubt myself, and as though she knows better and could do a better job. It's really affecting my mental health.
After putting up with it for almost 4 months, I finally told her today how it made me feel. She told me there was no need for my attitude and that she hasn't actually given dd any food so there was no need for me to be so upset. I told her she hadn't YET but she tells me she will while I'm not around and also has gone against my wishes on other things so I don't trust her.
She's then text DP and told him I'm out of order and he needs to have a word with me.
AIBU to feel the way I am? And was I unreasonable to finally tell her how I felt?