Confessions of a Mumsnetter

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I have never ever seen Downton Abbey and don't intend to.

I don't work hard and spend lots of time on social media during work hours
I have loo brushes and use bleach
I'm fat
I don't have kids
I leave my washing on the line overnight.
I open the door if someone knocks it.
I watch love island.
I welcome unexpected visitors
I genuinely don't understand why people on the baby boards can't decide for themselves what to call their children.

I never dust
I poo at work
I have never watched ......strickly, Game of thrones or Harry Potter
I own a loo brush
I like the name Evie (I wasn’t aware there was an issue with it)
I’m not keen on babies
I think teenagers are great
I drink waaaaay too much
My washing stays out all night on a regular basis

Ah, I love pooing at work - what could be better than getting paid to shit!

I never met my mother-in-law and she was alive for 5 years after we married.

I can't stand most people and I detest other people's kids
I never cook from scratch
My DS spends as much time as he likes gaming and eats whatever he wants as he's slim.
I judge people with overweight kids
I voted Leave
I'm obsessed with Russia, I adore Putin and I'd move over there in a heartbeat if the opportunity should present itself

@allthegoodusernameshavegone Our dog's called Evie and neighbour's daughter is too.

I let my dog walk off lead and his recall isn't always perfect anymore
I let my washing get darked on
I don't clean my house very often and therefore don't give a shiny shit who wears shoes inside
My in laws babysit a LOT
My husband never sends me on spa days when I look stressed
I eat off the DCs plates when we're out and they aren't looking

I read the Daily Mail.
I allowed my MIL to visit me after I gave birth.

I was a teacher for six years, and marking your kids’ work was So. Freaking. BORING. Lost days of my life to that.

I absolutely love having unannounced visitors. My grandparents’ home was always HQ for family and friends, and I like that our place is becoming that way as well.

I had evening guests to my wedding, because there were certain people I just didn’t like enough to pay for two full meals for. We had a free bar though, so swings and roundabouts.

I’m a landlord 😬

I have never had a Subway

I love my mil
Loo brush ✅
Love Wine 🍷
Never seen GOT

I let my dog sleep on my bed. And, if it's cold, in it.
I have loo brushes (plural) - one per loo.

It doesn't cross my mind to take my shoes off in my house (and I wouldn't dream of expecting anyone else to)
I loved it when people talked to my babies
And, most shockingly perhaps, I let workmen use my downstairs loo.

I haven't started saving for a pension for DS.

No idea what zoflora is.
I love my PIL.
Guests can leave their shoes on!
I don’t mind giving people money for their wedding present.
I have a loo brush.
Don’t know what the constant biscuits are all about
I think a lot of the people on MN are bonkers (but I still love it)
I don’t like cleaning and I love my cleaner and if I could I’d move her in and have a housekeeper to boot!
I think my baby is the bees knees but bathtime is not my favourite (despite what Tv led me to expect)
I love tv - pretty sure it raised me and although baby doesn’t watch it I’m pretty sure I’ll be lax on that one

I own a loo brush, I dont meal plan or batch cook, I let my children have 2-3 hours screen time on weekends and through the holidays if we aren't going out (I quite like a peaceful cup of tea and scroll through the mumsnet boards) I sometimes dont change my bed sheets for two weeks, I dont iron, I swear terribly, i dont hate my in laws, i have to wash towels after each use as my children are filthy rotters, oh, and i smacked on digestive biscuits spread with carnation caramel tonight whilst watching a program about transporting trains about the UK- not an avocado in sight!!!

Penis beaker was the first thread I commented on That's a stealth boast, @ToEarlyForDecorations

I care about birthdays - my own and other people's.

I love Christmas
I don't have a meltdown if I discover my teen DD and/or her friends have sniffed alcohol AND I have brought my underage child booze to take to parties.
I own two loo brushes
I wash bedding/towels officially every fortnight actually hopefully once a month. Ish. Unless I forget.
I have taken class A drugs
I am capable about seeing the world and people's situations in shades of grey instead of in only black and white terms. And I think thalking things through, compromise and negotiation are all good things.

I seem to be seeing @LaMarschallin on every thread I'm on at the moment, I think she's very funny [as in, I read a funny post on a thread and then look at the OP and it's her. It's happened about 4 times today, including on this thread) and am considering PM'ing her to tell her this, but think she might think I'm over-stepping/stalking, so I won't.

I'm SUPER proud that there are several threads in "Classics" which I know I'm on (not under this name, which I've only had for a few days). Really properly proud.

Also, there was a thread earlier this year about "funniest thing you've ever read on MN", and one poster quoted something I'd written. I died and went to MN heaven.

(the last two are things I can't brag about in RL, as very few people know I'm on here, and those that do... I wish they didn't!)

When posters write things like "she sounds like a spoilt madam" or "my smacking hand is itching" or "you're not punishing hard enough" I hate on them, but rarely post this sentiment.

I've never had a Subway
Never been to Spain.
Take a bucket upstairs to pee in at night-time as our loo is downstairs.
If I'm having an afternoon kip on the settee I will never answer the phone or door.

Neither my husband nor I have any hobbies.

Oh, and I leave washing out on the line overnight. Frequently. Sometimes for several days, and I don't even care.

Fantastic thread!

My son has just come out of prison after a 2 year sentence for drug dealing and all bar my close family think he was working away

I didn't breast feed and find it unnatural
I didn't mind people touching my bump / holding my newborn
I like Boden
I do 80% of house work and I loooove it .

I wash my bedding once a fortnight.
I have toilet brushes in my bathrooms
I hate the abbreviations on here and don't know what half of them mean.
I never cook - my husband does.
I don't have any kids.
Bought Zoflora but thought it was gross.
I let workmen use my loo.
I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting someone.
I buy the Daily Mail on Saturday's for the TV guide.
I also think Evie is a nice name.

Not only was Penis Beaker not funny it was very likely fiction.