Confessions of a Mumsnetter

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I have never ever seen Downton Abbey and don't intend to.

Singlebutmarried wtf

I voted Leave
I have a toilet brush
and a pedestal mat around the toilet
I don't see that most housework needs doing
I've never considered looking after my family wifework or childcare or parenting
I judge fat people

I let the dishwasher repair man use my loo.

I regularly stay in the hotel with my partner when he works away. It is in no way stealing to stay with your partner in a hotel that their work have paid for.( I don't eat breakfast)

I can’t drive so my DM or DH drive me or I use my legs and walk.
I let my baby watch Little Baby Bum on Netflix.
When he was weaning he threw all his lunch on the floor for the dog so I gave him a pack of Heinz corn crisp things rather than make something else (then had a cry in the kitchen).
I leave the wet clothes in the machine way too long.
I leave the dry clothes in the tumble way too long.
My washing line is in permanent shade and a giant spider lives in it so I’ve just left it alone. For 7 years. You’re welcome spiders.
I’ve just been given an eternity ring and I love it.
Bras and bedding get washed when Mercury is in retrograde or thereabouts.

I've never dipped DH penis in a beaker

@ChangedMyNameYetAgain I think you'll fit right in with your judgement of fat people. You sound lovely

I work in the sex industry I love my job and I earn good money from it. If you saw me in the playground you would have no idea I just look like a regular mum of 4.

I eegularly stay in the hotel with my partner when he works away.

I was so tempted to say, "That's a coincidence. I regularly stay in the hotel with your partner when he works away ".

But it wouldn't be true.

I agree though, it seems fine (and my OH has had breakfast when he's stayed with me )

I don't think being a SAHP is harder than going to work. (I was a SAHM for 4 years and it was a fucking breeze compared to life now where I'm constantly rushing from one place to the other).

I have a loo brush.

I hate cooking and cleaning and will find any excuse to get out of it.

I wash my towels and bedding when I can be arsed, which is normally when they go a bit manky.

I can have a pair of jeans on for a week at a time. If they don’t stink and they’re not grubby then who gives a fuck.

I have no idea what Zoflora is.

I have those gas and electric meters with a key and a card. I hate them and I always forget to top them up.

I once forgot i had a tampon in for 3 days.

I'm on maternity leave and my husband and I still split the housework 50/50

I couldn't give a flying fuck about how anyone parks.

and I hate that little biscuit emoji. Done to death, change the biscuit.

I fed my teenager out of date shrink wrapped pasta and pesto tonight
He ate it in his bedroom wearing his dressing gown as he has only been on PC gaming since getting up at 2pm.

I don’t care who uses my loo or wears shoes in my house (no point, see no. 1), i dont believe you can catch a disease from a smell.
I like comfortable shoes but I don’t get those “in” trainers

I loved boarding school and so did my all my school friends.

I drink more wine than the guidelines suggest.

I have a loo brush.

My car has a 3.2l petrol engine.

Never watched Downton or GOT.

I think drugs should be legalised.

I bought some zoflora ages ago after I’d kept seeing it mentioned on here but had never heard of it before... it’s still sealed as I’m not sure what to actually do with it!!

I don't think the penis beaker, cutted up pears or snapped and farted threads are remotely funny

Agree

And will add

I like to eat Pombears

My DC love fruit shoots

We all eat Greggs saussage rolls, even sometimes while actually walking around town.

I think most of us here are liars.

I have a partner who pays for me travel to him. I only go because he lives in a typically desired resort abroad. If he lived in the UK I wouldn't be with him (I do realise how horrible that sounds)

I took my husband's name when we married.
We have always had joint bank accounts.
I sort out presents for his side of the family.
I do most of the housework but do ask for 'help' if necessary.
Zoflora stinks.
I have never made a Yorkshire pudding.

And I don't believe the 'you owe me a new keyboard because I just spat out my tea' nonsense for one minute.

I change the bedding/towels once a month and cloths & sponges even less
I don't work hard and haven't given a shit about any of my jobs, I've managed to browse the internet 9-5 for months on end at several of them. I have yet to find a "fulfilling career that I love", I collect my money and am the first to go home
I don't do any sort of non-compulsory insurance, like travel, contents or jewellery

I let the gas man use the loo today with a jovial "You do so at your own risk!" and a hearty laugh. I had put bleach down it this morning - thank god. And there's a loo brush in there too. And I didn't ask him to take his shoes off.

I weaned my son before 4 months - he's fit and healthy.

I squish those massive house spiders but leave smaller ones alone.

I don't answer the door.

I have 3 children but have never been 'broody'.

I left my children at birthday parties from about the age of 5 onwards because, let's be honest, I'm never getting those 2 hours of my life back and the sight of all the mums standing over their children while the poor things ate their party food (and in some cases the mums went round the table and chose the food for them "Tarquin - do you want a cucumber sandwich poppet or a naice ham sandwich?" ) used to get right on my tits.

I don't think the penis beaker, cutted up pears or snapped and farted threads are remotely funny

Ok but what about Sharon or T Rex?