Confessions of a Mumsnetter

[PlaceYourItemInTheBaggingArea]

I have never ever seen Downton Abbey and don't intend to.

@RainingFrogsAndHats But it will get DARKED on!!! And spiders will rub their willie's on it!!! Think of the children!!!

My three year old DD will only wear dresses, loves pink, my little pony, and anything that sparkles... and for the first time, I'm loving it too. Her enthusiasm is infectious!

I’ve never even heard of Zoflora 🤷‍♀️

I love my in-laws - although that could be connected to them living in another country 😏

If either my husband’s family or mine were in a position to provide regular childcare I would leap for joy, and tell them while my son’s in their care the rules are basically whatever they find appropriate.

After giving birth, what I most wanted was an immediate and non-stop flow if visitors admiring my beautiful baby 😁

We have on a few occasions practised controlled crying (only ever need to do it for one evening) and each time it’s broken a pattern of waking up in the night. Definitely hasn’t taught child that there’s no point crying if he wants something!

I can’t deal with loo brushes, sorry (it’s having something that’s been scrubbing poo in the house) but I do have a Toilet Duck stick thing that you attach a paper pad to and flush the pad when done.

I’ve never been able to separate sex and love and am slightly baffled that others apparently can.

I’ve never watched Strictly, X Factor or Love Island. Read most of the GoT books but stopped because they started to make me want to wash my brain out. Also they got a bit shit. Watched one episode and the way the show treated women pissed me off too much to watch more. Have watched Downton Abbey (my mum watches it) but thought it was crap. Ditto Poldark and I don’t even think he’s attractive.

When my baby was breastfeeding, instead of spending precious time bonding I scrolled mn for hilarious CF threads.

I’m basically only on mn for the hilarious CF threads (there haven’t been so many lately, but the summer before last there was plenty to keep me entertained!)

I think you can choose to stay in an unsatisfactory marriage ‘for the kids’ and not be a pathetic abused doormat. Actually I think it’s often quite a mature, brave and selfless decision.

Children on the bus annoy me. I don't care that their parents haven't slept, I don't care that they're only young, if they're screaming I get a bit annoyed.

Breakfast is a porridge pot in work, not organic seed chia things.

Im overweight but not particularly fussed, I have other priorities and I just eat what I fancy. No gym although I walk loads

Don't like line of duty. Have tried, can't get stuck in. It's quite boring and slow really

Never really got into Harry potter think it's all a bit far fetched

Think keto,5:2, all random diet plans eg exante, SW, are a con. They put far too much emphasis on weight loss which isn't healthy and it's all a bit extreme now

My mum is emotionally abusive, and we have issues, and no I won't be giving up work to.look after her when she's ill

I do tend to ask a man to open a jar thsn another woman

Lush products are fab - I don't really care that they've negative views of police, their products are amazing

I think everyone's got a right to their own beliefs. I think standing outside shop doorways shouting about your God and handing out copieds of your holy text, is inappropriate regardless of what religion it is

My meals are based on convenience, timing, availability, speediness and taste as opposed to balancing proteins and fats, carbohydrate content etc

I use baby wipes
I love McDonald's
I HATE paper straws
My husband washes up
We have a toilet bin
I let my kids watch you tube so I can get on with work
Chocolate has been breakfast a couple of times
I don't like other mums in general
I love a nap
I sometimes park in parent and child even when my kids not in the car

I am old, but still consider that my opinion is as valid as anyone else’s on here.

I am old, but refuse to be held responsible for all the ills of the world.

I believe in the saying “it takes a village to raise a child”.

I like to holiday outside the UK.

I parked in a parent and child bay today with my 13 and 11 year old. It was great right next to the door at M&S 👍

I don’t like Boden
Hate Strictly, BGT, Bake Off et al
I don’t want to see pics of your pregnancy test
I smoke

I’ll get my coat

I have no children, but park in the P&C spaces if I’m visiting the supermarket really late at night/middle of the night. If your kids are little enough to need them, then they should be in bed at that time of night!

As a teacher who is very able to keep a class of 30 teenagers quiet all at once with some very simple behaviour management tactics on a regular basis, I’m pretty sure most people could get their much smaller children to behave more nicely by being a LOT more firm with them, and giving them instructions in a voice which shows you actually mean what you say... yes, I have particular parents in mind thinking about this...

I have never laughed tinkily or tilted my head in response to anybody in my entire life.

I have five children and I don't care about overpopulation in other countries in relation to this.

I had c sections essentially to preserve my fanny as best I could.

I’ve never watched GOT, Harry Potter or Star Wars
I wash our sheets every couple of weeks
We asked for money at our wedding
I think it’s ok to drink while your kids are in the house

I’m basically only on mn for the hilarious CF threads (there haven’t been so many lately, but the summer before last there was plenty to keep me entertained!) PLEASE tell me you are thinking about the wedding/MoH is a CF thread @csa26?

I fucking LOVED it. I'm on it!!!! Lots!!!! both of them!!!! That's one of mine that are in Classics.
I still think about it too.

I wear full make up every day but never take it off at night.
I only do the dishes a couple of times at week at moment
I've never cleaned the inside of my err 20yr old cooker

I tell my H I’m going to the gym when really I’m sat in the pub garden reading the paper, drinking lattes and chain smoking.

I asked for contributions for my honeymoon and my wedding budget was greater than £21.50.

I don't use Zoflora because I'm not a seventies housewife.

I actually really like it when people pop in unexpectedly, which they do quite a bit round where I live.

Can't get on board with a mooncup and call tampons exactly that: not once in my life have I ever heard "sanpro"

My neighbours smoke in their garden and I don't mind it.

It sounds to me like NCT classes and the like are an invention to save the NHS money by encouraging more women to NOT take advantage of medical advances by selling them the image of the “perfect all-natural childbirth”.

When surely history and biology show us that human birth is extremely dangerous and ridiculously painful, and surely we should accept all the drugs, epidurals and elective c-sections we could possibly take? Why are we being encouraged to subject ourselves to many hours, or even days, of agony, followed by the high possibility of injury?

We all know that if men gave birth, they’d have invented far more effective methods of achieving less painful and traumatic births by now!

When my dd couldn’t be arsed to practice her instrument I let her give it up altogether. This is shocking where I live. Also I let my dds get their ears pierced from aged 10 rather than insisting they have to wait until they are 32 like everyone else.

I'm chronically unobservant. Even really obvious things - I just genuinley haven't noticed or realised.

I don't get the 'popular' stuff - Poldark, Bodyguard, Downton, Doctor Foster etc through to Game of Thrones, Star Wars etc - no interest in them at all. Makes me very tedious I guess

Sachastark precisely!

I'm a slattern and only clean my house when expecting visitors when I display my show pineapple in a fruit bowl and Molton Brown handwash and white fluffy hand towels in downstairs loo where there is also a loo brush.
I do not own a pooh knife nor a penis beaker.
My children have eaten their breakfast in the car on the way to school.

No! Is there another classic CF thread I haven’t read! Amazing!

It was Workzilla and a couple of others (and of course that was just the gateway to things like the Mexican house thief...)

Some more confessions:

I don’t know how to do the ‘tagging a previous poster’ thing (like this, RainingFrogsandHats?)

If food isn’t walking out the door by itself, it’s fine to feed my family, and yes yoghurt is what even pasteurised milk turns into (I make it regularly. Intentionally, I mean...)

Despite this attitude, our grocery bill was regularly in the £800/month mark for 3 adults and a baby. Admittedly since I took over the shopping from my husband, it’s gone down to around £400-500. But I can’t get it much below that (we’re vaguely keto - husband because he’s diabetic, me because otherwise I get fat - which doesn’t help).

I actually think “that doesn’t work for us” is a pretty rude (and also just weird) way of saying “no”.

I have a loo brush, and I'm not afraid to use it.

I let my DCs watch TV a lot when they were young, and when they were older they set their own bedtimes.

We usually eat dinner around 7.

I have a little bathroom cupboard stocked with tampons and pads that anyone including guests can use.

I have a bathroom bin and a bathroom recycling bag too.

Never watched Strictly Come Dancing or the US equivalent either. Or GoT or X Factor or Downton Abbey, or any of the rest of it. I actually rarely watch TV. I like crunchy gravel mysteries though. I resisted years and years of exhortations to read Harry Potter and haven't seen the movies.

I love wedding registries, money as gifts, and baby showers.

I drive a 4x4.

I left my DCs at birthday parties and playdates, participated in carpools when they were young, and brought highly inappropriate snacks and drinks to T-ball games for the team when it was our turn (wildly coloured American drinks and Ho-Hos to be exact).

Don't get the fondness for school uniform around here, and I believe it is absolutely, 100% possible to teach children to read using mixed methods.

I have never cancelled a cheque.

@csa26

Just put an "@" in and then copy and paste the OP's name in after it.

But doing it in bold or italics works fine too, because unless the OP's turned their notifications off, they get an email telling them they've been mentioned in a post.

As you probably have. x