AIBU to reject a regular lift in a dirty car?

[BettySundaes]

Met a mum at a regular activity my DD goes to, got chatting and found she lives very close to me. We take the train to said activity she drives and offered us a regular lift.

Both mum and daughter seem nice, well dressed etc but I was shocked when we got in the car. Not just rubbish everywhere, crumbs on the seats, grimy carpet just the pits - I felt like I needed a shower after the ride. I've grinned and borne it a few times and we have now had the summer break but I really would prefer to take the train. Activity starts back next week - what excuse can I make though??

This is MN at its finest - whatever position the OP takes, people rush to be the opposite.

Wash your towels only every other day?? You desperate slattern - raise your game.

Don't want to get a ride in someone's dirty car? You total princess - my car is a skip.

Yeah, yeah.

I thought everyone hoovered our their cars weekly and washed them Sunday mornings

On Wisteria Lane, maybe.

These lyrics came to mind

And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco Bay
And you realise you can't make it anyway
You have to wash the car
Take the kiddies to the park
Don't marry her, fuck me

Blimey, if this is all you have to worry about in life, I genuinely envy you!

Start wearing hazmat suits

Does it smell? That’s the thing that would get to me!
Say you want an opportunity to spend more time with DD as you had a tricky summer and you’ve decided to get a train again together for alone time grab a coffee etc. Also that your planning to read more this year and you’ve been listening to audio books too and enjoying immersive reading which is so the when others are around so you’d love the time to do that on the train
Good luck

I was once given a lift home from a lovely work colleague whose car smelt the same as a dustbin. You couldn't see the carpet for rubbish & I'm sure the smell originated from rotting Mcdonalds takeaways. I felt like throwing up & luckily could open the window as it was warm outside. Never again. It was quite something!

You ought to see ours .

I thought everyone who had children had cars like you describe though?!

^Er no they don’t. I can’t stand dirty cars. Says a lot about someone if they can’t be arsed to clean the interior of their car clean and tidy.

Our previous family car looked like that. DH won’t let the current car get that way so no one is allowed to eat in the car at all. It really was abysmal, we just didn’t care for it.

Having said that, if I offered someone a lift and they declined purely because I had a few crumbs on the seat I’d think they were a bit batshit. The train can be awkward, a car journey is generally quicker and easier so to decline for this is daft imo.

Our taxi driver to primary school had (I assume) a medical problem and used to drive while sitting on a pile of stained towels as he would frequently shit himself while driving and didn’t seem embarrassed or try and conceal the fallout in the slightest.

At the time us (as kids) just knew he had constant bad diarrhoea but that he didn’t want to not work hence “pushing through”. Seemed in a way courageous and commendable at the time but thinking back...

He was a lovely man, but if it’s anything near as bad as that then YANBU.

My car is pretty vile with dog hair and general grime everywhere and also a few cobwebs!! I give my colleagues a lift home 3 times a week and they are so grateful...show some humility!!

The shock on this thread is making me grasp for the first time why so many English people seem to spend weekend mornings hoovering their car.

If my life ever gets that unexciting, I’m going to commit hara-kiri.

You're kidding, aren't you?

This thread seems to indicate most people drive around in utter filth.

Yes, good idea. offer to clean her car for her if she lives near to you. But lots of people have mucky cars, it's not a big deal really. Maybe if you do have another lift, you could wear one of those forensic type outfits,and she might get the idea , that you don't like dirty car interiors !

I honestly dont understand why so many people are excusing such a filthy car. OP YANBU to not want to get into a portable bin.

A few wrappers/receipts and some crumbs and dirt is fine but when you can't see the floor for old food wrappers, the chairs are clearly dirty, even the seatbelt audibly has crumbs in as well as being sticky, that's just disgusting.

I don't have a car now (realised I didn't need it as we have good public transport and most things are walkable) but when I did it would occasionally get a bit messy but the footwells weren't portable dustbins and you didn't need a wet wipe after touching anything in the car. It doesn't take long to clear out the rubbish every once in a while and give the mats/seats a wipe down.

A friend of mine's husband never clears his car and one time he was giving me a lift home after I had babysat their kids and as I opened the passenger door a load of empty energy drink cans cascaded out of the foot well when I tried to get in. It took 2 minutes to gather them and dump enough of them in the recycling so there was room for me to put my feet on the floor. There is no excuse for a car to be so full of rubbish beyond laziness.

My car has been described as a mobile handbag in the past. Yes, there's stuff in the footwells but it's not easy finding space for several shopping bags, cool bag, oversize atlas etc. In the last few weeks the car has also been used for transporting furniture, stuff for the coup, secondhand bricks, and dogs. It's a country workhorse not a show pony. None of my friends has a problem with that.

Sounds like you are describing my car...I'm getting a shiny new one next week and I won't be offering anybody any lifts in it

I once saw a man piss in a bottle on a train, which then spilt everywhere. I have seen people puke everywhere on trains. I have even seen a man having a wank on a train. I have always wondered why they have upholstered seats on public transport and not wipe clean seats. That is potentially what you are sitting in every train ride you take. I would take your friend’s crumb-ridden, sticky car over semen-soaked train seats any day.

a train with lord knows how many sweaty asses been on the seat, plus the random talker, nose clearer, loud chewer, no deodorant wearing strangers V a few crumbs and wrappers?

Bring on the crumbs and wrappers lmao

@BettySundaes YANBU!! A filthy car is disgusting and most sane people wouldn’t want to ride in one either. If your feet can’t touch the floor of the car because it’s covered in rubbish then that’s a bridge too far. UGH, gross. Definitely tell her you’ll be taking the train from now on. Hopefully she doesn’t ask questions.

I'm fairly relaxed about many cleaning-related things (am always amazed at the towel and bedding cleaning threads and don't think not showering every single day is 'grim' necessarily), but I have a real thing about unidentifiable crumbs, old food packets and anything half-eaten. I would already have stopped taking the lifts - the description of the crunchy seatbelt is particularly sickening!

I use public transport a lot and am regularly disgusted, but at least you have a choice of seats or can even stand. It's also less confined a space.

I fear the future, when apparently we will all be sharing driverless cars. If anything like trains, people will leave takeaway containers and chewing gum all over the place - and there will be nowhere to escape from it

Comments about being 'batshit' or precious - yeah, quite probably I am, but I genuinely find this stuff stomach-turning!

A lot of the replies are over the top.
If she offers again, just reply along the lines of 'thanks very much but I'm going to get the train as it's not any hassle and we enjoy it'. You can always soften it with something like 'looking forward to seeing you and hearing about your summer'