To find him infuriating

[littleyellowjuicecup]

So every week I do the food shop. I take 2 toddlers with me, do the shop and arrive home as DH gets home from work. He then packs the shopping away.
I’m just getting mightily annoyed with his constant lack of care when putting things away.
He wastes us so much money on a weekly basis because he puts things in the wrong place.
This weeks effort was putting the pot of chilled carbonara sauce in a cupboard instead of the fridge to find 2 days later, a cook from frozen meat joint that specifies it must be kept frozen was put in the fridge so needed chucking as I’m not sure if you can cook from chilled.
The bottle of fresh chilled orange juice ended up in a cupboard along with some dairylea dunkers.
It pisses me off that we have probably wasted £10 this week on fresh food that needs to be chucked.
It’s the same with the laundry. I wash and he puts away. This week I’ve found jumpers in the pyjamas drawer, and pyjama tops in with the t-shirts so it takes me forever to find coordinating items.
Went to take the kids swimming last week, but couldn’t find their armbands. They were in the garage with the paddling pool toys 🤷‍♀️
He is a 40 year old man and acts like a man child. Why can he not put stuff away in the correct places???

Last week was fresh cheese filled tortellini in the kids snack cupboard and 2 frozen pizzas put in the fridge.

Strategic incompetence?

What is his response when you point out these mistakes?

Go to Aldi. Buy 1 blue bag, 1 yellow, 1 green, 1 red.

Blue bags go in the freezer
Yellow the cupboards
Green the fridge
Red the cleaning/bathroom stuff.

Stick a sign on the fridge.

And tell him if he doesn't get his arse in gear then you'll divorce the lazy arsehole.

His response to the shopping is usually “well you could always put it away yourself”

He hates wasting money, so I’m not sure he would purposely do it.
I just think he’s careless. Or hopeless?

My DS19 puts my shopping away, I’ve never had to explain- he can read!

And I’m sure the temperature of the item holds a clue as to where it belongs?
Room temp = cupboard
Cold = fridge
Very cold = freezer
Hardly rocket science right.

Surely you see these items in the wrong places when you get something from the fridge/cupboard?

Yes he's an idiot but I can't see how that much food can go bad before you see that it's in the wrong place?
At least he tries.

I agree with him - if it's that much of an issue, do it yourself.

I would say if you like food in a specific place just do it yourself. 5 minutes, done and no more annoyance.

I think he's not bothering as he doesn't want to do it.
So why don't you swap jobs - he does the shopping, then entertains the children while you put the shopping away? Even better he could take them with him shopping and you could use the time for housework (or just me time).
Similarly if he can't put the washing away - then swap - he does the washing and you put away.

We tried swapping and him doing the washing and I do the put away.
He didn’t read the labels, shrunk loads of clothes, put darks in with lights and turned everything a murky grey.
Also he rams the washing machine full and only puts a tiny amount of powder and fabric condition in, so the clothes stank and didn’t wash properly.
I just feel like he’s a child. Surely a 40 year old man should be trusted to put 4 bags of food shopping away?

I would say if you like food in a specific place just do it yourself.

So if a grown adult can't work out that frozen stuff goes in the freezer, the other adult in the house just needs to pick up their slack and do it all themselves to facilitate the incompetence?!

I would say if you like food in a specific place just do it yourself. 5 minutes, done and no more annoyance

He’s not putting cheese on the jar shelf instead of the cheese drawer, he’s putting floor for the fridge in the cupboard. The OP isn’t being fussy about things not being in a “specific place”, her DH is being an incompetent idiot

Yep strategic incompetence.
He’s not going to learn because he doesn’t want to.
Re the shopping you can pack all fridge stuff together all frozen stuff together.

His response to the shopping is usually “well you could always put it away yourself”

That is exactly what the lazy arse manchild wants you to do.

Read the update concerning washing, he’s definitely at it!
Is it only housework he’s inept at?

I agree, this is deliberate.
If he is being "incompetent" then you could: stop doing his washing; give him jobs that he can't get wrong: cleaning the bathroom comes to mind. and take a long hard look at whether you can be really bothered with this "game playing" at home.

LTB
I’m irritated by him and I don’t even know him let alone have to live with him. I’ll say prayers for you as he sounds like a knob

On a tangent but why would you take two toddlers shopping when home delivery exists???

Do an online shop and put it away yourself? Taking kids shopping is to stressful lol.

I’m with @Gardai he’s giving me the rage 😡

Because if I do a Lidl shop I spend maybe £70 and if I do an online shop I spend £100.
There’s nothing I would love more than to do an online shop!

He does this because he doesn't want to help and doesn't give a damn about you.

By doing an absolutely crap job of anything he's asked, he's hoping you won't ask.

It really is that simple.

Don't do anything for him. Stop washing, cooking. Hide his phone charger and keys. Play dumb when he asks. Make life uncomfortable and annoying for him, but don't pretend to know anything about it.

See how he likes being irritated by someone not giving a damn.

My eldest son can be quite lazy at times. I do this and it is most effective. Talking about it doesn't get me anywhere. Making life uncomfortable for him in little ways does get him to buck up.