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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Help me with bedroom situations!

102 replies

Emcont · 28/08/2019 19:17

My DD's are 4 and 6. At the moment we co-sleep in my kingsize bed in the 'master bedroom' while DH is sleeping on the bottom bunk in the girls bedroom. This has been working fine for us up until now. DH goes to work very early and we have co-slept from birth, so it's just worked.

But now they're getting bigger and they have more 'stuff' I'm contemplating swapping bedrooms with them and taking the very small, barely double, bedroom.

Currently their bunk beds will separate to two single beds. Do I keep these or opt for a double bed for them to share? I've seen this mentioned quite a lot in my research while trying to decide what to do!

Would it bother you if you had a bedroom that fit your bed in and not much else?!

OP posts:
underneaththeash · 28/08/2019 19:19

Your poor DH.
Just put them in their bunk room, the 6yo is old enough to be in the top bunk.
Why on earth as an adult would you have the smaller bedroom?

WhyBirdStop · 28/08/2019 19:22

This seems like madness, your adult husband has been consigned to a bottom bunk for six years?! Put the girls in their bunk beds, get some decent storage in there, where would you put all of your stuff in the smaller room? Maybe some additional toy storage in the living room if necessary.

RebeccaRae · 28/08/2019 19:22

I doubt they will want to share a bed for much longer, so I would keep the bunk beds rather than shelling out for a double they won't always want.

Is the room with the bunk beds too small for your daughters to share? If so, you and your husband will have to take it but I think the lack of space will become annoying to you in time.

flumpybear · 28/08/2019 19:23

My DS 7 sleeps with me and DH scoops him into his own bed when DH comes to bed - DD is 11 nearly and still occasionally wants to sleep with me - but she's nearly my height so DH can't move her lol

Emcont · 28/08/2019 19:23

DH is fine. I should have clarified that it was his idea to have this set up at present rather than transitioning them into their own beds.

And because they have a lot more stuff than we do, we only really use the bedroom to sleep in where as they play in theirs.

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Lazypuppy · 28/08/2019 19:23

I can't believe you have actually been living like this for 6 years?

Your poor husband!

WaterSheep · 28/08/2019 19:24

Poor DH, I can't imagine it's been very comfy sleeping in a bunk bed for 6 years.

Put them in bunk beds and let your husband back into his bed.

Emcont · 28/08/2019 19:25

He hasn't been in their bed for 6 years.

Sorry, my post is obviously unclear. We did have two kingsize beds pushed together and all slept in one room. Then we bought them bunk beds to try and transition them into their own room. We persisted for a while but carried on as we were and he jumped at the chance to stay in there. Think he was just a bit fed up of being kicked all night!

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100timewforgotten · 28/08/2019 19:25

You need to put the girls in their original bed and let your partner back into his bed. How are you ever intimate?

flowery · 28/08/2019 19:25

If they have their own beds why would you consider getting rid of them and replacing with one bed for them to share? Confused

WhyBirdStop · 28/08/2019 19:26

DS is 9 months he sleeps in his own room. There was no transition needed. Now however you might have a ruckus on your hands. I'm gobsmacked you even conceived the younger one!

Dontsweatthelittlestuff · 28/08/2019 19:27

Split the bunks and push them so they are side by side like a double but have individual bedding and duvets. Make a big deal about taking the girls out to choose their own set and get your husband back into an adult bed.

WhyBirdStop · 28/08/2019 19:28

This should've stopped before you bought the second king-size bed for whole family sleeping. Ridiculous.

fluffyjumper · 28/08/2019 19:30

It's totally your choice and what works for you. If you dont spend much time in your bedroom and only use it to sleep and dress then you dont need the space. Do the girls play in thier room and use the space? I crept into my twin sisters room to sleep till I was 14.

I wouldn't rush and buy any furniture just yet and trial it. If it doesnt work then you haven't lost anything.

My dd and niece are 6 and 10. They are so close and sleep at each others houses most nights. They also share a bed and joke they are half sisters as me and my twin are identical. This works for our family, we do explain to strangers about the half sister to avoid any confusion.

katewhinesalot · 28/08/2019 19:30

Bunks will give more floor space. asa pp said, let them choose their bedding and offer incentives bribes to stay in their rooms.

Likethebattle · 28/08/2019 19:31

People do understand sex can be had outside the bedroom?🙄 Asking how they get intimate and how the my conceived the second child is not 2 hard to understand surely.

Emcont · 28/08/2019 19:32

@WhyBirdStop Why is it ridiculous? We have an abnormally large master bedroom which allowed for the space for two kingsize beds. Everyone was happy and we all got good a night sleep.

We have all enjoyed co-sleeping up until the last year or so when we got rid of the second kingsize bed and got the bunk beds.

Their bedroom isn't big enough to have the beds as two single beds and still have room to play. That's pretty much my reason for wanting to swap, so they can have all their stuff in their bedroom rather than in ours and all around the house.

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Elisheva · 28/08/2019 19:32

My DH and I have the smaller bedroom, my two DSs share the largest bedroom. We wanted them to have their own place to play and as they got older to chill and spend time by themselves/with mates. We thought that the rest of the house is ‘ours’. Our room is big enough for a king size bed, two wardrobes and chest of drawers, which is all we need really.

ThisHereMamaBear · 28/08/2019 19:34

We are in the process of doing this. I now love our cosy and compact room. It's such a shame co sleeping is so frowned upon. My dh has slept on the sofa for the past year. His idea as it means he gets a full night sleep and I can feed ds in bed without getting up a million times.

Emcont · 28/08/2019 19:34

@Likethebattle Sex must be confined only to the bed and in the missionary position only Wink

Thank you for the suggestions!

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thecatinthetwat · 28/08/2019 19:34

Ok op, I totally get where you're coming from.

Why don't you ask them what they would rather do. I would definitely consider having the smaller room yourself, if that makes the most sense.

I've thought about this myself, but for now my kids are looking forward to bunk beds. They're usually quite appealing to kids. Maybe even just transition one for now, if the older one is keen and younger one not for example.

You've got options, ask the kiddies what they like the sound of.

Jennifer2r · 28/08/2019 19:35

If you're so set on it why are you asking?

EdtheBear · 28/08/2019 19:36

Op I can just about see the logic of kids having the bigger room. But they need to sleep in their own room. I think I'd sell it to them that if they sleep in their own beds for 6 weeks you and DH will swap rooms with them.

Emcont · 28/08/2019 19:37

@ThisHereMamaBear Exactly that. Our youngest still wakes quite frequently during the night. So not only does he have a comfy bed on his own (They are decent mattresses and a single bed for an averaged size man isn't the worst thing, no?) but he also doesn't get woken up multiple times a night!

I do wish co-sleeping wasn't so frowned upon. We have loved it. If they weren't getting so big then I would carry on until they decided they wanted to stop.

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Emcont · 28/08/2019 19:38

@Jennifer2r Because I like opinions and seeing what other people would do.

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