Help me with bedroom situations!

[Emcont]

My DD's are 4 and 6. At the moment we co-sleep in my kingsize bed in the 'master bedroom' while DH is sleeping on the bottom bunk in the girls bedroom. This has been working fine for us up until now. DH goes to work very early and we have co-slept from birth, so it's just worked.

But now they're getting bigger and they have more 'stuff' I'm contemplating swapping bedrooms with them and taking the very small, barely double, bedroom.

Currently their bunk beds will separate to two single beds. Do I keep these or opt for a double bed for them to share? I've seen this mentioned quite a lot in my research while trying to decide what to do!

Would it bother you if you had a bedroom that fit your bed in and not much else?!

I’m sorry there’s so much judgement here from people regarding your choice to cosleep. We don’t but I have a number of close friends who do and if it works for you then that’s great.

We just swapped out daughter from the smallest bedroom into the second bedroom as there’s room for her to play and sleep. We made the smaller room the guest room because it barely gets used and it was a wasted space.

Speak to them and see what they think - having a room to play in may aid the transition for them to sleep in their own room when they’re ready.

I don’t think the adults need the bigger room. I often wondered this as a child!

I would take the smaller room if it will accommodate your large bed and has enough storage for your clothes etc. I would keep the beds as bunks even if the room is huge, the floorspace will be great for playing and if you have plenty of storage it will be much easier to keep the room tidy. If they get the bigger room I would insist that all of their stuff stays in it though. Eventually you could split their room and give them a bedroom each if needs be.

I would move them into the bunks. My 6 yo ocassionally sleeps in with us if she's awake just a bit too early and I can't sleep properly. I often wonder if people who co-sleep because their child still wakes up during the night are actually the cause of that as the child gets disturbed by the other sleepers moving about.

If your room is massive could you divide it to make a play room or toy storage room?

I would not give them your room until they have slept in the current room with bunks for a couple of months the only reason I can think for you not moving is if either of you work from home and need a dedicated office space which would not fit in the smaller room obviously if you had a second reception room you could use that as a office but 2 bed houses generally don't have 2 reception rooms
you don't want to move them into larger room then swap them back as they are the same sex they can share the room long term and as it is big enough for 2 king beds it will be big enough when older to have some sort of room divider for a bit of privacy

When my kids were little (we had four in a three bedroomed house), we had a double bed in a single room. Our clothes stayed in our original bedroom, but we gave up our room for the reasons you give. The kids needed the space. We had to climb over the bed to get into it, and there was no room for anything other than the bed.

When we put the house on the market, we had to restore the 'master bedroom'. In our next house, we again took a smaller room (but we did then have three double bedrooms).

It's not ideal, but it didn't bother me.

Me and dh have the smaller bedroom in our house whilst our kids share the much larger 'master' room.

All we do in the bedroom is sleep, whereas the kids do play and it's big enough for them to have separate areas so it made sense for us to have the smaller room.
We don't have a wardrobe our clothes are in a big storage cupboard in the big room but we're used to it now.

I won't lie, I'm looking forward to moving to a 3 bed house in a few weeks but I don't regret how we had the bedrooms here.

I think swapping bedrooms is a good idea and there is nothing wrong or unnatural with your choice to bed share. It’s not for me because I’m a very light sleeper but for humans it’s the most natural thing in the world.

It makes perfect sense for the kids to have the larger room if they’re sharing and have more space. Just keep the beds as bunk beds. They will get used to it although it may take some time. You will need to make the decision to move them and really stick with it. They will try and get back into your bed but you need to remain strong. I like the idea that someone else posted about taking them to choose their own bedding. Maybe let them choose some decorations for their room too. But don’t buy them a double bed to share. They won’t want that for ever. Maybe push the two singles together for a while to help with the transition.

We have the smaller bedroom, I think it makes more sense for children, who actually hang out in their room, play on the floor etc to have space as DH and I only go to our room to go to bed.

But seriously, how can you possibly have a half decent intimate side to the relationship with these arrangements?

If you only have 2 bedrooms, which are an abnormally large master and a very small double, is there any way to move an internal wall to balance the room sizes out a bit?

My DH has been trying to convince me for a couple of years to swap rooms and the only thing that's stopped me so far is that the back room is very dark which hasn't been a problem for the girls as all they've done in there is play during the day.

And because they have a lot more stuff than we do, we only really use the bedroom to sleep in where as they play in theirs.

These two statements contradict each other. If you don't use your bedroom for much besides sleep, why do you care if the room is dark? I would switch.

No way! You and untie husband in the master bedroom and put the kids in their room. Wow I can’t believe you are even thinking of anything else. On another note how is your marriage doing?

You and your*

On another note how is your marriage doing?

Why would you ask such a daft question? Especially when the OP has already said her marriage is fine

Transition them across to their own bedroom with the bunk beds, they are old enough to understand and should be fine. Buy them some special duvet covers (let them choose) and make it as cosy as possible- fairy lights are good. They will be ok in time.

I do feel sorry for your DH, single beds are not comfortable for adults.

Seriously, what is the big deal about giving the master bedroom to the kids? Where you all shoved in box rooms as a kid or something?

I think you're getting a lot of unnecessary criticism OP, if cosleeping (with dh separate) has been working for you, then that's great! Ignore the naysayers.
As to current arrangements, I agree that parents in the smaller-double room and kids in the huge-room makes sense (and from experience cleaning up when the kid in the top bunk is sick is a lot more work than non-bunk beds).
Agree that you could push the beds together for one big sleeping area, or depending on the room layout an "L" shape can also work.
Most importantly don't be afraid to try it. Other than kitchen and bathroom it's not that difficult to switch rooms around - I've had bedrooms downstairs and living rooms upstairs, half and half, a bed in the living room with sofa and main TV, and I have one person who thinks sleeping in the conservatory (or a tent in the garden) is the best treat in the whole world, and yes that's year round.
Find what works for you/r family, that's the only thing that matters here :)

I do feel sorry for your DH, single beds are not comfortable for adults

Well maybe if you're over 6 ft and weight 20 stone they aren't.

Couldn't think of anything worse than co sleeping. Don't you have a sex life?

@100timewforgotten I couldn't think of anything worse than not getting a decent night sleep. And with our youngest still waking multiple times during the night, having her wake up for a cuddle and cuddling her back to sleep instantly is heavenly for us.

My sex life is absolutely fine, thank you for your interest

Couldn't think of anything worse than co sleeping. Don't you have a sex life

Do you not have an imagination?

I’ve never read a more judgey and unhelpful thread! Poor DH 🙄 and seriously, the poster who said who cares if it was his idea really? Infantilise men that much that we won’t let them choose to sleep in a single bed?? 🤦‍♀️

I love it when I very occasionally get to sleep in the bottom bunk (only when the 3 year old is ill and wants to sleep in my bed with my husband!) There is no reason a single bed should be uncomfortable for an adult.

Also, you are allowed to have sex outside of the bedroom, just for the benefit of the posters concerned about the OPs sex life 😂

OP I would have the small room if I were you. Ask the girls if they’d like a double together (the bunk beds pushed together) or have them as bunk beds, get a reward for doing a week/2 weeks/whatever you feel is appropriate

@Emcont Yeah let the kids have the bigger room, if you and DH are cool with the little room!

And ignore the bashers. Some people can't help themselves.

As for 'adults cannot be comfortable in a single bed.' What tosh.

Much more comfortable in a single bed than squashed up (in a double,) against someone all night, with them farting, and snoring, and coughing, and hoiking the quilt off you!

And why do some people think you only shag if you share a bed???

Some bizarre posts on here. And some very narrow-minded people!