Help me with bedroom situations!

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My DD's are 4 and 6. At the moment we co-sleep in my kingsize bed in the 'master bedroom' while DH is sleeping on the bottom bunk in the girls bedroom. This has been working fine for us up until now. DH goes to work very early and we have co-slept from birth, so it's just worked.

But now they're getting bigger and they have more 'stuff' I'm contemplating swapping bedrooms with them and taking the very small, barely double, bedroom.

Currently their bunk beds will separate to two single beds. Do I keep these or opt for a double bed for them to share? I've seen this mentioned quite a lot in my research while trying to decide what to do!

Would it bother you if you had a bedroom that fit your bed in and not much else?!

Can you remodel upstairs to portion off part of the master to make another child bedroom and then they have a room each?

First of all each to their own and I would emphasize what works for one couple may not work or be ideal for another couple.

However, as a parent of a 25, 22 and 19 year old 'children' just be careful that you end up doing too much for those kids when they are growing up. I generally gave top priority to all y kids activities and i sometimes wonder was it all too much.

In my humble opinion your master bedroom is for you and your husband and your children will have to find their playrooms in other places. Dont let your kids become too attached to theor bedroom as, when they become teenagers, they may never leave the room (or hardly ever).

You have worked hard to pay for your house, you should take advantage of the comforts. The kids can get used to the bunk beds etc and it will make them appreciate better and bigger rooms when they can pay for it themselves.

I genuinely look at my screen like to the judgemental comments. DH sleeping in a comfy-more-than-large-enough-bed-in-peace must mean I have a shit marriage and no sex life.

Ladies, if you're not having sex in your marital bed in the missionary position, you're doing it wrong!

My step son has recently had to go in to therapy because at 12, he has terrible separation anxiety and can't sleep alone after co sleeping with his mum for years. She is woken in the night constantly by him crying and complaining. It works for some I'm sure but it can also be hugely problematic. I'm also not sure that putting the kids in the master bedroom as they have more stuff is giving them the right message about the position they have in the family. It's you and DH who work and pay the mortgage and should be obeyed and respected by your kids. I'd be concerned that they might end up self important and you downtrodden. What would you do when they're older?

We did it until we got our loft extended. We had the smallest room, as you said, we only sleep in it. Two DD’s shared the master bedroom, all the toys were in there, so house was much clearer. You do you.

To everyone talking about the hierarchy of the house, when my mum has the smaller bedroom she made it clear that I had the biggest bedroom because the lounge was hers - obviously I was allowed in it but my stuff had to go back to my room when I did, and if she wanted to watch a film or whatever (or even have sex, in the lounge😱) I had to go to my room

My step son has recently had to go in to therapy because at 12, he has terrible separation anxiety and can't sleep alone after co sleeping with his mum for years

My autistic kid co slept until he was 12 and had no bother going into his own bed. It was time. Your point is?

I'm also not sure that putting the kids in the master bedroom as they have more stuff is giving them the right message about the position they have in the family

Ah man I properly laughed at that, brilliant

If the room is big enough for 2 kings, get a partition wall put in, then you keep one side with your king bed, one daughter gets a single in the other side and the other has the other room.

My kids all chose to cosleep with each other for the first 10 years or so, despite separate bunks, they would often be found in a pile on the bottom double. We stopped this when we got a bigger home, but it was their choice. Little kids can be like puppies, wanting to sleep in a heap. But as they grow bigger they should have some privacy and so should you.

I would give the children the biggest bedroom like a PP said I only use it for sleeping I wouldn't need that much room.

Will the kids sleep together and you back in with DH? If its working for you all then fair enough.

Realised you said that all along, Doh!

Anyway I would still give the kids the biggest room.

If you put the four year old in her own bottom bunk she will most likely no wake multiple times in the night.

*not

If the small room is dark, I think it would be nice for them to get the big bright room since they will be spending time in it playing , etc

@Hairydogmummy perhaps the co sleeping was the result of sleep issues and separation anxiety rather than the other way around. We had to lay with both of the boys, through various periods, before they could get to sleep. They can't boot us out of their rooms fast enough, these days. DS1 is still an insomniac (like his mum!) but is less of a PITA with it than he was when he was 4.

No suggestions not already made and no judgment, but this has reminded me how much we loved co-sleeping when the dc were little. We stopped when DD1 was 7 ish and DD3 really didn’t want to. DH and I loved the whole sleeping in a heap thing, and if the DC have a daytime nap they still do it, despite being late teens/early 20s.

God forbid a man/husband/father makes way for his kids to co-sleep with their mother.

Fucking hell 🤣 this place sometimes...

I sleep in with DS. Hes 2. I feed him to sleep too. We do what is right for our family and it works for us. OH sleeps in the double bed and gets a decent nights sleep (which he needs because he works and I dont) whilst I sleep with DS who wakes multiple times in the night.

There is nothing wrong with that. It works.

OP your set up is fine and if it works for your family, it works. Not wiote sure why people are being so judgey about it.

I think it's important for kids to have a bedroom where they can play and sleep. That way they associate positive things with the bedroom and ultimately, in the long run, feel more comfortable sleeping in their own whenever they are ready to take that step. Lots of happy memories to comfort them.

My ds and dd have the master with en suite. I hate en suites and they have a lot of stuff. Dh and I have a normal double.

Laughing at some of the crazy Victorian stuff on this thread. The children's 'position in the family' 'obey and respect'
Co sleeping is brilliant. Our happy team loves it.

I’m trying to picture the house layout. It seems okie a very strange design - one bedroom wide enough for two king size beds side by side (a king size is 6ft 4 inches wide here so i assume it’s the same there) so that’s one room that’s at least 13 feet wide (including space to walk around the beds) but the other room barely fits two separated bunk beds side by side? Who designed that?

I’d move a wall and even out the rooms.

Do you intend for this home to be your final family home where the kids will be teens? If so and the master is massive, can you (when they are teens) put up a fake wall to give them both their own room and privacy? If so then that would sway me to giving them it. Presuming no more dc are planned that is.

If you're all still happy with the current set up, why change if they're not yet ready to go in their own beds? Won't you all just end up in the smaller room together? With DH still in the bunk in the large room.

Does the smaller room have enough room for your clothes and getting dressed in?

At our previous house, our room was only big enough for our bed and 1 wardrobe and 1 set of drawers. So we had half of our clothes in our room and half in the spare room (that room wasn't big enough for all either). We ended up using the spare room for getting dressed in. That got a bit tedious and would have been more awkward as dd (4) gets older.

We don't have that problem in the new house.

If there's enough space in there and you won't mind a smaller room go for it.

A king in UK is 5ft wide x 6ft 6 long. A super king is 6ft x 6ft 6.

But yes it's still a massive room to get two kings side by side.

I used to live in a street of identical modern three story terraces and loads of people had put two dc on the master bedroom and taken the second room themselves. It does make sense as children have more stuff. I think it's really important that children have somewhere to play where they aren't being overseen by an adult. They need to play all those imaginary games freely and they need to learn to sort out things with siblings without an adult stepping in and telling them what to do.