To refuse to drive

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I've always lived in city centres. Now I'm in the countryside because DP wanted to give it a go, but our house is a 2 min walk away from the train station. We're also a 10 min cycle away from a supermarket.

Everything I want to do is in town, all my friends live in cities.
I'm sick of people (mainly DP's family) having a go at me for not driving. I do realise in many ways I would have loads of freedom with a car. But to be honest I can't stand them.

I hate the idea of putting your life in other peoples hands (other drivers). I absolutely hate seeing dead birds and rabbits by the roadside. I can't stand the fact that despite living in the countryside I have to worry about my cats, because drivers come bombing down the 30km/h road. I hate the noise, I hate that when I cycle through the fields even, just taking in the surroundings, I have to get right onto the verge to let them past.
Plus, there's the environmental aspect.

In my ideal world, the only vehicles on the road would be delivery and emergency vehicles as well as taxis, and governments would plough shit loads of resources and efforts into creating top notch public transport.

Anyone else feel the same?

Do you never travel in a car as a passenger? If you do, you’re being massively unreasonable.

Can you actually drive?

It sounds like you're afraid of cars.

Yes I do! I totally admit it can be convenient. But I dont travel as a passenger to somewhere I couldn't get to myself on public transport (I go because I'm going with someone else and they would rather take their car).

Do you have DC?

Yes, I am actually afraid of cars. I'm afraid of hurting someone or something, for example. I just dont want that responsibility!

It's perfectly reasonable to not want to drive as long as you can get everywhere you need to go without asking anyone else for a lift. And it sounds like you can, so it's all good.

Not sure about removing cars from the roads and replacing them with public transport in rural areas though. You'd have loads of empty minibuses driving round all day causing pollution with hardly anyone on them, so would be worse for the environment than people just driving where they need to go.

Decent public transport for towns though should definitely be a priority though.

In an ideal and simplistic world that would be just dandy

That's a good point about the empty mini buses actually.

Good for you. The less people that drive the better.

No, I don't have children, and I guess that does change things!

Do you travel as a passenger in a car? Do you have DC?

YANBU to dislike the environmental impact of cars but rural life is pretty dependent on driving, I’m afraid. Electric cars mean that it is finally possible to run a car in an environmentally conscious way.

Is there a deeper reason why you don’t want to drive?

YANBU if you don’t need cars generally and are rarely in them, but if you rely on family/friends for lifts a lot of the time @or your partner does all the driving that is a little more selfish.
Other people are very reliant on cars though, not just laziness or habit - but genuine needs for commuting etc, living in places with little public transport. So it’s not the same case for everyone.
I commute by train and don’t drive much in the week, but it’s very convenient for doing the big shop, visiting family, visiting places in the countryside with no transport links etc.

So actually you haven't got anything against driving other than the fact that you're afraid to try.

I do not think that your environmental reasons for not driving actually stack up.

It sounds more like you're so determined not to drive that you're frantically citing reasons why it's a bad thing.

I live in the country and although there are (very occasional) buses here, I wouldn't have any quality of life if I didn't drive.

Replacing cars with public transport just would not work in todays society. People's working patterns and commutes would cause so many issues.

Unfortunately yes, having DC does change things.

I have been driving since I was 17 but when I had DC1 the car became an absolute essential.
The DC wouldn't have been able to go to the schools I wanted without or do their million school age hobbies.

Doesn't mean it's right or the same for everyone but it's my experience.

I'm just sick of being made to feel a bit pathetic for not having a car. On the very, very rare occasion that I'm doing something outside of town, I map out my journey, and a conversation might go like this:
Them: Shall I pick you up?
Me: No it's fine, I know how to get there.
Them: But you're going to get the bus?
Me: Yeah!
Them: Let me pick you up!
Me: No honestly it's a really simple journey.
Them: Its only 10 minutes out of my way though!
Me: Well if you're sure? That's kind of you, thank you!

In all fairness it's only DP's family who do this to me though. They literally use their cars for the smallest most basic thing (like driving his nephew to school which is a 20 min walk away....). I think it might just be a bit of a culture clash.

Also isn't having a car a massive added expense?

It doesn’t sound like you actually want to live in the countryside, and as long as you can’t drive then it won’t be a realistic prospect for you to live there long-term (especially with DC). Is there perhaps a little bit of sabotage going on here to ensure that you move back to a town or city one day?

YANBU OP

If you are able to get where you want/need to be via foot, cycle or train then I can totally understand why you have no desire to drive

I drive but try to avoid using my car for short or unnecessary journeys

Much better for all our health and the environment if less cars on the road!

I used to be afraid of cars and driving them. I felt like I would hurt people with the car. I failed numerous driving tests due to my crippling driving anxiety. I tried a hypnotist and I lost that anxiety, I passed the following test and have been driving ever since.

I dont care if people dont drive as long as they dont expect lifts.
Also anyone I know who's proclaimed they have no reason to drive have always changed their mind once they have children.

Ah. So you don't have children. Oh well. Let's see what you say once you do.

I mean yes, cars are scary! They're big pieces of machinery moving at high speed! To be honest the thing that bothers me most is the animal thing.

Sounds like you have a whole lot of excuses because you would rather not drive.

“Does anyone feel the same?”

No

Sadly there are a growing number of people for whom the concept of going anywhere further than the house next door without taking the car is an alien concept

I like in a large village. Its amazes me how many people use their car rather than walk when running errands that would involve walking even the shortest of distances