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AIBU?

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Original poster

Family fall out dog incident

189 replies

violashift · 26/08/2019 17:19

I didn't see this happen but it has caused a massive extended family fall out on what was a lovely bank holiday.

At cousins house ;my sister and Bil are there with nephew age 5. He is playing in the hall with his brother.
The dog comes in initially wagging tail but within seconds the dog is having a go at my nephew who is about dog height.

My sis filmed all of this as she was filming the kids playing in the hall but dropped the phone when the dog went close to her son.

Pics attached. Brother in law kicked the dog in panic and pulled nephew away.

It all kicked off after that my cousin blaming the brother in law for kicking the dog and refusing to except anything was wrong saying the dog wouldn't hurt him.

Guess I am asking for advice on the next steps. Sis is shaking thinking the dog could have nicked an artery and cousin is annoyed the dog got kicked.

We have all left.

===================

edited by MNHQ - images removed by request

OP posts:
Sceptre86 · 26/08/2019 19:22

Some dog owners seem to think dogs are more important than children, they are not in my eyes! I would never leave my child alone with a dog where I was not close enough to intervene by any means necessary. We live on an estate where many people own dogs, dd loves them and always wants to per them. She is 3 but knows she can't just bound over to them , she has to wait for mum or dad and ask the owner if it is ok to pet the dog. I would actively discourage ds to pet a dog as he is boisterous and could easily upset a dog without meaning to, he doesn't yet understand that dogs need space and might not want to be petted by an over eager, loud little boy!

Your cousin needs to wise up and I would not be taking any child around theres whilst their attitude is poor.

Sceptre86 · 26/08/2019 19:23

*theirs

Original poster
violashift · 26/08/2019 19:23

I'd have kicked the dog too - to break contact and to ensure the dog was distracted away from the child to the person kicking - no brainer in that situation

Yes it does seem to have worked in this situation. He wasn't wearing a collar I don't think.

OP posts:
Winterlife · 26/08/2019 19:30

Kicking a dog who may or may not be behaving aggressively is going to provoke it and make it more likely to bite.

Not necessarily. Dogs can read emotions. If the father was angry (rather than fearful), a dog reacting to human aggression may very well back away. The best demeanor around a dog is calm assertiveness. However, dominance can work as well.

I would report this. The dog is a danger to children, and its owner doesn't seem to care.

frumpety · 26/08/2019 19:32

There are two types of dog owner in this situation

  1. the one who would be absolutely mortified and would take measures to ensure it never ever happened again , this does not necessarily mean PTS. The dog could easily be muzzled in future situations or be kept completely separate, if the owner could be arsed to put the effort in now, understanding that their older dog may not enjoy family gatherings as much as them.
  2. The one who proclaims loudly that it cannot possibly be anything to do with the situation that THEY have put the animal in. It must be everyone else's fault that they invited a load of people round, got drunk and failed to respect the fact that their dog is a dog who doesn't do well in confined spaces with children they don't live with. But hey, lets blame the 5 year old child and their parent for the lack of insight of the dog owner. Hmm
Aridane · 26/08/2019 19:33

Dog should be put down - those preliminary stills are appalling.

And as for all the 'was the dog provoked?' questions , FFS

Littlechocola · 26/08/2019 19:34

I love my dog but if she did that my reaction would probably be to kick her away too!

You need to report your cousin.

BlueCornsihPixie · 26/08/2019 19:38

All dogs present a risk to children really.

I think as an owner it's your responsibility to ensure your dog is supervised or kept out the way. At all times. I know it's their house but if they arent prepared to supervise their dog then they shouldn't be inviting young children.

It is not up to the 5 yr old to behave appropriately around dogs.

Dogs are a lot of work, because they are animals. No one gets a dog by accident, it's just part and parcel of owning a dog, and if you aren't prepared to do this then you shouldn't have a dog and you certainly shouldn't invite young children round

Whilst kicking the dog was maybe not ideal, this was a dog going for a young child's neck, it's a perfectly natural reaction in the situation

The cousin is 100% in the wrong. And it's owners who don't recognise the risk their dog presents to others that cause the problems.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 26/08/2019 19:47

Honestly I would not get involved. You didn't see what happened. Let them fight it out between them.

Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 26/08/2019 19:47

What could the dog do next time?

To another child, maybe?

From your Cousin’s reaction, you may need to consider that this isn’t the first incident of aggressive behaviour.

I think you need to photograph the injuries and speak to the police. Even if there is family pressure not to. You don’t want to risk injury to anyone else.

I hope you nephew is OK Flowers

Tonnerre · 26/08/2019 19:48

Has your sister taken photographs of the marks on her child's neck?

If a dog has gone for a child's throat and caused injuries, there is no question whatsoever that it was justifiable to kick it away. The fact that the dog was snapping and growling justifies it even more.

I suspect your cousin't over-reaction is an attempt to deflect blame from her and the dog. It's good that everyone else who was present seems to be presenting a united front.

SleightOfMind · 26/08/2019 19:48

Dogs are a lot of work, because they are animals. No one gets a dog by accident, it's just part and parcel of owning a dog, and if you aren't prepared to do this then you shouldn't have a dog and you certainly shouldn't invite young children round

This. Exactly.

Tartsamazeballs · 26/08/2019 19:51

We had similar in my family- grandparents got two spaniels and they grew up with the family kids. 2 years on one of the dogs goes for one of the toddlers who is giving granny a hug. The incident is swept aside. A few months later similar happened again.

The stance of the parents was "don't care what you do with the dog but we aren't going to be coming over whilst you have it". Grandparents got in a row but eventually the bitey dog was rehomed.

I'd never have my kids near a dog that is unpredictable like that. If your cousin is enough of a twat not to respond appropriately then that's a shame but you can only control your behaviour.

Emilyontmoor · 26/08/2019 19:52

Everyone is at fault here, both parents and dog owner should have been carefully supervising and guiding the interaction at very close quarters. The parents should have been holding the child and teaching him how to act around a strange dog, NOT letting him run around, but be still, stand in front of the dog where he can see them and stroke them gently, again where they can see them. Those are the only circumstances under which children he does not know and trust interact with my dog, and even with children he does know I would have to be absolutely sure that they knew how to behave around him. The owner should have supervised the interaction as well. A ten year old lab cross is very likely to grumpy around children (adults and other dogs too) , especially if they are running around in an unpredictable way? It was predictable.

2beautifulbabs · 26/08/2019 19:57

Defiantly would have kicked dog too if it had gone for any of my children but agree animals and young children should never be left alone it's a recipe for disaster

CallMeOnMyCell · 26/08/2019 19:59

I would have kicked the dog too. My mum’s dog nipped my DSS on the hand completely unprovoked when he was two. There was no blood and DSS was fine (but shocked and crying). My mum was horrified and wanted him put to sleep. We convinced her not to but the dog was never allowed around children again and locked away at all family events etc.

crazycrazyworld · 26/08/2019 19:59

He needs to stfu! If I were you I would call the police if a dog attacked my dc.

BlackNoir · 26/08/2019 19:59

Report to the police and let them decide what happens to the dog.

MotherOfLittlePeople · 26/08/2019 20:01

Cousin is being unreasonable. Needs to take responsibility for the dog. My MIL has a dog that has snapped at my eldest twice, didn't get her thank god! But for that reason and the fact she won't separate dog and my child she can't go over alone and now barley does go over at all.

Hangingwithmygnomies · 26/08/2019 20:02

@adaline sorry I thought you meant completely unsupervised. Agree with you completely. When we had our dog, even though she was used to children as we had her before my DS1 was born, I would always supervise and/or put her out of the room if there were lots of people, especially children

Wildorchidz · 26/08/2019 20:03

*The parents should have been holding the child and teaching him how to act around a strange dog, NOT letting him run around, but be still, stand in front of the dog where he can see them

The child was playing with his 2 year old brother when the dog appeared on the scene. Within seconds the dog was at the child’s neck. The child did nothing to bother, irritate or provoke the dog.

MisterOnion · 26/08/2019 20:04

If I thought anything or anyone was about to hurt my children, they'd get a kick from me too. He just intervened, maybe it was for the better, maybe not, but cousin just needs to accept it's happened, what can she do about it now?

LaMarschallin · 26/08/2019 20:06

Sorry, not the point of the thread I know, but does anybody own a dog (especially a large one) that isn't a big softie/softy or soppy?

Or are they all out of the same mould with no difference in temperament?

Bunnybigears · 26/08/2019 20:11

LaMarschallin my dog is medium sized and isnt at all a soppy softie, he likes my children on his terms, he doesnt like other children, he especially dislikes little girls. We work with his temperament and don't put him in situations where he would feel stressed. If people ask to stroke him while we are walking him I say no.

LaMarschallin · 26/08/2019 20:17

Bunnybigears

my dog is medium sized and isnt at all a soppy softie, he likes my children on his terms, he doesnt like other children, he especially dislikes little girls. We work with his temperament

As far as I can recall, that's first post on MN about dogs that - when a description has been used - hasn't been on the softy/soppy lines.

I thought it was unlikely that all dogs has exactly the same personalities. However I don't know much about dogs.

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