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Original poster

Monica’s Mother from Friends-esque comments...

123 replies

Igetknockeddownbutgetupagain · 26/08/2019 15:31

I’ve been re-watching Friends and very aware that Monica’s Mother is incredibly similar to my own...

So I’m asking for those shit comments you get, that make your hackles rise and really make you want to flick said person in the middle of the forehead Grin

My favourite recent one -
Just had my hair coloured a lovely shiny copper. Had lots of compliments and I’m very happy with it.
My mother opens the door to me, looks quizzically at my hair and says ‘Gosh, doesn’t your hair look orange at the moment’. I just smile and say, ‘well I like it’.

OP posts:
AdelaideK · 26/08/2019 22:01

Some of these are awful.

Isn't it sad so many mothers and grandmothers are critical about looks and weight?

Alwaysgrey · 26/08/2019 22:12

My mum. When I was a child she told me I wasn’t the kind of daughter she wanted. These days she frequently tells me I wasn’t raised right (I’m well mannered, kind, helpful and doing my best to raise two children with special needs). She also gives me lots of “advice”.

sarahC40 · 26/08/2019 22:13

Recent ones: oh look, you've got a big spot (thanks).
Relating to younger ds exam results who has overcome so much: do you know I think he's going to surprise us (talk about damning with faint praise - luckily I have the kind of relationship with her where I can tell her to stfu and she rephrased)
On me dropping a day to go to 80% at work: oh you've looked like you've needed this for at least a couple of years.
It makes me laugh because her mother was notorious for this and much worse- my dm told me to out a pillow over her face if she became like her mum.

Glitterblue · 26/08/2019 22:21

My granny is the queen of comments in our family:

"I'm glad you lost weight, your cheeks were all puffed out like a hamster" - followed by blowing her cheeks out. I was a 14 at my biggest.

And:

"Why do you wrap your cardigan round like that, are you trying to hide all your fat?"

Parttimewasteoftime · 26/08/2019 22:30

My DG said to me when pgnt with 1st DC "you sure the scan was right and only one in there!?" Miss her every day ♥

DesMartinsPetCat · 26/08/2019 22:49

“Mabel’s got herself a little job. It’s nice for her to have some pin money”

Snap!

My (utterly lovely, usually) mother when I told her I got a big promotion-

“That’s nice. Really though, there’s no shortage of women who’d love to be at home cooking Mr. DesMartinsPetCat’s dinner while you’re sitting in an office making pocket money to get your nails done”.

I earn £110k. My husband would hate to have a housewife.

Olderthangoogle · 27/08/2019 03:16

*I have a PhD, and I am well known in my industry as an expert (not bragging, but relevant). Oxbridge graduate.

It took me winning trivial pursuits one Xmas for my Mum to say “oh I didn’t realise you were quite clever”.
Okay, Mum. Thanks.*

That's hilarious. Did she not attend your graduation? Do you have an older high-achieving sibling? (I have one of those who I admire to bits but will never match up to) Smile

KickAssAngel · 27/08/2019 04:08

When I got a new job that included teaching 6th form A levels for the first time:
"Oh, I hope the old grey matter is up to that."

Even worse - I got an MA (whilst working full time and raising a child with a disability) - and she's never even mentioned it! Not so much as a well done email when I completed it.

Nonameslob · 27/08/2019 04:48

Just a couple of many! You're not pretty or clever so focus on being a nice person or no one will want you. Said repeatedly to me throughout childhood. I hear it in my head all the time and I'm nearly 50.
When I got an unexpected promotion to a very responsible position, I wonder how long it'll be till they realise you don't know what you're doing.
I could go on but it's too depressing!

Milkstick · 27/08/2019 08:37

I have a friend like this. Too many little barbs to remember but the first is still fresh: trying on some clothes she'd brought round for me and when I was in my bra she said, disappointedly, "oh, you actually DO have a nice figure." She had clearly been feeling good about herself in comparison until that moment.

DogHasEatenTheSqueaker · 27/08/2019 08:51

I am self employed and (appreciate this makes me sound like a dick) am quite in demand in my particular field. It's been bloody hard work, but very rewarding.

When discussing an exciting potential new client with my mum (few days a month extra work) I was told:

'Don't overstretch yourself darling. After all, you're only working as a placeholder until you have a baby.'

Yup, that's what I've been up to for 15 years, just killing time and twiddling my thumbs 🙄

FenellaMaxwell · 27/08/2019 08:59

On my wedding day: I had to ask her how I looked. “Oh you look fine. Although I do think that other dress would have been nicer. Now how do I look?” 🙄

couchparsnip · 27/08/2019 09:07

On finding out I was on the pill at 17 my mother was so shocked and disappointed. Apparently I had put her in a bad position because she had to keep this from my father.

MsTSwift · 27/08/2019 09:12

My granny told me at 18 that I was “absolutely perfect except for your hair and your handwriting “ 😁

Batqueen · 27/08/2019 10:42

Last time I saw her:

‘I thought you were going to get your eyelashes done’

They had been done, just a couple weeks ago so it was quite a subtle difference. I saw her looking at them thinking they looked different before she asked, and that’s how it came out. Hmm

Crinkle77 · 27/08/2019 10:54

Years ago I flunked my a levels and didn't get the grades i needed to go to my university of choice. I got a place in one of the 'new' universities. Anyway ended up really loving it there and came out with a 2:1. I was thrilled to bits and felt vindicated after the a level cock up. Anyway on the way home from picking up my results I was in the car and she turned round and said that my dad had said employers might not take my degree result as seriously because it was 'only' from such and such a uni. I was completely crushed and thought you fucking birch you knew exactly what you were doing there.

She always used to make comments about wearing too much puppy or my skirt being too short after taking ages to get ready and trying to look nice. She could never give a compliment.

Original poster
Igetknockeddownbutgetupagain · 27/08/2019 11:15

My sister told a story of a recent occurrence where our mother got into her car with her and the first thing she said was - oh your foundation is DARK today.

Like she could do ANYTHING with that info, sat in her car driving seat, ready for an outing.

And I’ve had other people point out the spot...I never understand this. I feel like saying - ‘Thanks... I have no concealer or spot cream and can do nothing with this info. Cheers though!’

OP posts:
MrsGaryLightbody · 27/08/2019 12:42

I'm one of three siblings, sadly one of them died tragically.
After the funeral, which I'd organised, paid for and dealt with. Run around a crazy woman so not to put upon my mum who was obviously devastated. We were sitting reminiscing and she blew my mind by saying " I'd be able to cope if it was you or your other sibling dying .. " I replied oh that's harsh ... to which she retracted and said " well obviously not sibling as she has young children " Confused
In other words I would cope better if you'd died MrsGary !
Cheers Mum

theemmadilemma · 27/08/2019 14:58

I'm currently actively trying to put weight on a malnourished body, so having opened up about my issues I excited said I'd put on some weight:

Don't put on too much weight, you are a slim built person and excess weight doesn't suit you.

Cheers Mum. She's awesome in every other way, but she'll cut you on your weight.

MsTSwift · 27/08/2019 15:04

As a pp my mother in law calls my earnings “abit of pocket money”. I am a solicitor.

meandIBD · 27/08/2019 15:07

NC for this as outing...

5 years ago I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, prior to being diagnosed I lost a lot of weight due to the constant shitting...

My mum "well now you know what it is, you'll have to be careful not to put all that weight back on."

I'm a size 12/14 usually.

Areyoufree · 27/08/2019 15:08

Was given the only singing part in a school play. Went up to my Mum afterwards, and when she wasn't forthcoming with any praise / criticism anxiously asked "Was I okay?". "You were very clear." she replied.

Thanks, Mum.

The80sweregreat · 27/08/2019 15:18

My mil is evil and said some horrible things (she denies it all the time though)
She is a textbook narc!

KatharinaRosalie · 27/08/2019 15:34

sitting in an office making pocket money to get your nails done
I earn £110k.

Does she know that or really thinks you are getting your nails done for 110K?

SportingInjustice · 27/08/2019 16:18

I hate/love this thread.

I have so many - loads pretty much variation on what has been said before; I don;t think I've had a single conversation with my mum since the age of 13 (I'm 42) without her mentioning my weight.

Some that definitely stick in the mind though:

"My new neighbour's daughter looks exactly like you. it's uncanny, you could be separated at birth. She's always going on about her beautiful daughter though, which is strange 'cause you're obviously not."

looks me up and down in a new outfit and sighs dramatically
"I know it's the style now for women to just let all their flab hang out and not care how awful it looks, so by those standards, yes, it probably looks fine"

"You seem to have lots of friends. I just can't understand it, you're so boring."

**upon giving me pyjamas 4 sizes too large for christmas"
"what's the problem? I'm sure they will fit you. I can't really differentiate sizes after a 14, i's all just fat sizes after that"

Similarly to PPs, she constantly refers to my very senior level job as "pin money" and often asks if I've had a busy day, running around making the bosses' cups of tea. When I once exploded from pent up frustration, and tried to tell her what my work entails and the respect I get in the industry and was told "nobody likes a woman to be a clever clogs" .