Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Monica’s Mother from Friends-esque comments...

123 replies

Igetknockeddownbutgetupagain · 26/08/2019 15:31

I’ve been re-watching Friends and very aware that Monica’s Mother is incredibly similar to my own...

So I’m asking for those shit comments you get, that make your hackles rise and really make you want to flick said person in the middle of the forehead Grin

My favourite recent one -
Just had my hair coloured a lovely shiny copper. Had lots of compliments and I’m very happy with it.
My mother opens the door to me, looks quizzically at my hair and says ‘Gosh, doesn’t your hair look orange at the moment’. I just smile and say, ‘well I like it’.

OP posts:
Yeahnahyeah1 · 26/08/2019 17:28

Oh i got too focussed on looks 😂 she also comments that I ‘had so much potential’ with a wistful sigh every time she sees me re my job and I apparently settled too young for someone completely below me when I married (I was 25 and he’s bloody outstanding)

MrsGaryLightbody · 26/08/2019 17:31

My people Smile
My mother commented with full head tilt when I told her my long term partner and I were over as he'd come out as gay .. oh no what are you doing to these men !!!
On the basis that previous guy was alcoholic.

Cheers mum Confused

BeyondMyWits · 26/08/2019 17:36

coming from the airport after picking her up (6 minutes after picking her up - not seen her for 2 years - SIX minutes ... we always count it nowadays and play granny's bingo) -

she said to my teenage daughters - we can take the lift - looks like mummy needs to take the stairs.

TheCatsACunt · 26/08/2019 17:36

Whenever I visit her, my mother is obsessed with me brushing my hair. At least 3-4 times a day I’ll get some variation on the following:

“I’ll just wait here while you brush your hair before we go out”

“Why don’t you pop these clean towels in to the bathroom when you run upstairs to brush your hair”

I’ve just started accepting the standoff and saying I don’t need to brush my hair.

For the record, I have perfectly tame mid-length hair that I brush morning, night, and as needed during the day. It’s never unkempt.

Yeahnahyeah1 · 26/08/2019 17:37

Oh!! And when I got my previously waist length hair cut into a bob (I loved it and had texted to say so before I got to hers) she said, with head tilt, ‘oh gosh... well... I suppose it’s a good thing hair grows back’

Medianoche · 26/08/2019 17:37

On the day my brother got his A level results (AAA), my mother called me in glee saying ‘I couldn’t remember what you got, but I knew it wasn’t straight As’.
She couldn’t remember, because she’d never asked me. I got AAAC, so while not straight A’s, I was a little put out that she thought his results were so much better.

Topsecretidentity · 26/08/2019 17:42

@Yeahnahyeah1 oh wow on your wedding day even. That must be so stressful to deal with those type of comments and comparisons all the time.

I get the one about my husband too from my mum... she'll say "oh I was discussing with Linda and your sister, and we all agreed that you married beneath you and your DH has done very well for himself". I definitely haven't- my husband is exceptional. She also gets overly critical of my career even though she's never had one and I've achieved things many mothers would be proud of. I think it's because she's living her life vicariously through her children and is disappointed with how her life turned out due to all the sacrifices she made for us/ has been lost since we flew the nest . So I try not to take her comments to heart because I know they are not from a happy place.

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 26/08/2019 17:46

Mine is obsessed with me getting old (I'm 39.) I'm too old to have long hair, wear jeans, go to the pub with friends etc etc. I think she can't understand why I'm not exactly like her (probably because she's in her 70s!)

Yeahnahyeah1 · 26/08/2019 17:47

Yep, she’s a peach @topsecretidentity ... to be honest tho, it doesn’t actually affect me much anymore. If she wants to be a bellend, she can be, my life is pretty good regardless!
It sounds very much like our mums are similar, I truly believe she’s only so negative about me and my life because hers hasn’t worked out in the way she wanted at all.

Doobigetta · 26/08/2019 17:51

Mine greeted me on the doorstep once with “oh, isn’t that a horrid colour!”, referring to my cardigan.

She also said, every time my wedding dress was discussed, “well, the thing is you won’t be a young bride “

She’s getting worse as she gets older. I think she thinks she’s terribly witty and hilariously outrageous, but it’s just weird and rude. Especially as she’s quite a meek-looking little person.

FiveFarthings · 26/08/2019 18:02

Following the birth of DD, I was really puffy and swollen due to all the drugs I’d been given. After a couple of weeks, I’m starting to get back to normal. Darling mother comes to visit, opening line as she steps through the door - ‘Relieved to see all that weight is coming off’

Really?! Following the birth of your first grandchild via emergency c section, that’s your biggest concern and the first thing you say to me?! Geez thanks Mum!

OhLookHeKickedTheBall · 26/08/2019 18:05

I have terrible posture as every time I sat up straight I'd get comments from mine about flaunting my boobs. The way I walk was constantly criticised too, only realised a few years back that even my highly critical xmil hadn't seen anything wrong with it, and she'd pick any hole she could find. My academic achievements were out down because my sister got some AStars and I only got some As. AStar didn't exist when I took my exams, not that I'd have got them of course but it's not compatible. She's not been able to say much since I managed to get a first in my degree and came top of the department, my sister couldn't possibly outdo that only equal it so we don't talk about it. Except when my cousin didn't do as well in a levels as he'd hoped and she wanted advice about for him about clearing - I never went through clearing 🤷‍♀️

She also offered me some money to buy a wedding dress as otherwise I'd just 'look bloody awful like usual'. I decided to take the money after that comment and when she tried to make a point about how nice I looked I thanked her for reimbursing the cost of the dress I'd already bought before her offer and covering the dcs outfits too. Proper cat bum faced me. Was a great gift

RelaisBlu · 26/08/2019 18:07

I had the opposite of being told my husband wasn't good enough for me - my mother seemed to think I wasn't good enough for him! My sister married someone awful (they are divorced now) whilst my husband is a delight, loved by all, but my mother would say "You're very lucky you know" in a tone of real grievance as if my sister deserved the "nice" husband and I deserved the horrible one! And I was definitely not imagining it - I would see other people's faces when she made such remarks.

Of course it goes with out saying sister is her favourite....

BBCK · 26/08/2019 18:10

I’ve put on over a stone in weight lately and although I don’t look bad, it doesn’t feel like my natural weight. I remarked to my mother that I needed to lose weight as none of my clothes fitted and I couldn’t afford to replace them all and she responded: “No need to lose weight, you look much better like that. You usually look really haggard and awful”

GetOffTheTableMabel · 26/08/2019 18:14

In front of me, to cousins, “Mabel’s got herself a little job. It’s nice for her to have some pin money”.
Mabel had got herself a serious job on £50k pa fte. And although I was bricking it after 11 years out of the workforce, I was making a material difference to our family’s quality of life. I did, with great restraint, politely put her straight.

buttonz · 26/08/2019 18:22

My mother -

"I keep getting calls from an Indian call centre. It's making me feel quite racist".

"I can't bear all these Muslims coming over here and taking our benefits"

She was frightful when I had a black boyfriend.

As far as nasty comments to me are concerned, she used to call me a "boy mad tart" when I was 12.

She was a slap happy, manipulative old sow. She nearly broke my jaw when I was a child and accidentally dropped some photographs on the floor.

She would attack me with a rolled up newspaper - a weapon that was more painful than it sounds. My ears were ringing.

Verily1 · 26/08/2019 18:27

On saying I was pregnant ‘why would you want to do that?’

buttonz · 26/08/2019 18:28

She also accused me, when I was 16, of faking an eye test. She refused to let me wear my specs, as she believed that any sane man would not want a woman with glasses. I had headaches and suffered from poor vision for years.

FurrySlipperBoots · 26/08/2019 18:33

Last time I saw my grandmother she said to my mum:

'You were a lovely baby and a beautiful child, but look at you now...'

And not in a good way.

Swishyswash · 26/08/2019 18:35

If I went to see my mother in new clothes, her first comment would always be to ask what size the clothes were.

After a while my standard reply was the size that fits me.

Frlrlrubert · 26/08/2019 18:44

On the day of my engagement party - 'look at your arse'. SIL asked me if she was always so horrible (yes).

At about 10 weeks pregnant and looking like shit - 'how much weight have you put on?' I'd lost 6lb (thanks HG)

She was gutted that I was too poorly to have 'baby weight' to comment on pp, but managed 'your jeans are hanging off you poor DH can't find that attractive' at about 3 weeks pp.

On noticing my anxiety medication packet on the bedroom floor she cried and wailed 'why wouldn't you tell me?' Hmm

Rainbowknickers · 26/08/2019 18:53

Mine once looked me up and down in front of all my mates (we where about 15)

‘It’s a shame she has no boobs-she wishes she could take some podge off her fat legs and pump it into her boobs-she’d look more in proportion then’

I’m now nc

Paddy1234 · 26/08/2019 18:55

My lovely departed mum ❤️
I went through a horrendous break up and lost masses of weight as I couldn't eat at all. Everyone was phoning her up worried that I was anorexic.
Upon seeing me she, all she commented was that I still had a big arse on me.
However I miss her dreadfully and she was wonderful in all other aspects

ItemOneInYourFolder · 26/08/2019 19:03

On gaining a distinction in my Masters
Mum: is that the best you could have done?
Me: yes mum, it’s the best anyone can do!

PaddingtonsHat · 26/08/2019 19:05

14 weeks pregnant with dc2 and going to a wedding so trying on dresses
“You don’t even look pregnant, just fatter”. Still can’t work out of it was supposed to be a compliment?

Swipe left for the next trending thread