Monica’s Mother from Friends-esque comments...

[Igetknockeddownbutgetupagain]

I’ve been re-watching Friends and very aware that Monica’s Mother is incredibly similar to my own...

So I’m asking for those shit comments you get, that make your hackles rise and really make you want to flick said person in the middle of the forehead

My favourite recent one -
Just had my hair coloured a lovely shiny copper. Had lots of compliments and I’m very happy with it.
My mother opens the door to me, looks quizzically at my hair and says ‘Gosh, doesn’t your hair look orange at the moment’. I just smile and say, ‘well I like it’.

My gran was terrible for making comments about my and my mum’s weight. I remember once bending down in front of her and her saying something about my bum eclipsing/blocking the light from the sun. I was a size 8 at the time! My mum in comparison was always my biggest cheerleader.

When I told her I was pregnant with third Dc- " oh no you'll get fat again."
In reference to my new trousers - " what size are they?"
Me " a 12"
Mum " they must be a big 12 then."
Think she would realised not to comment on my weight when I had anorexia as a teenager.
I just ignore the comments.

My mum says some throw away comments to me like:

I saw a dress you'd like today, grey, I hated it but you love drab, dull colours don't you?

You've got grey roots coming through again.

After just having DD1 and answering the front door to her - oh Mizu, you look absolutely knackered, you look dreadful.

On announcing my pregnancy (i was 20 and with the father) "oh you sound like your set on keeping 'it' you know you have options its still early on. I found out too late to get rid of you!"
And a week or so later when asking if i had made my mind up, offered me to move back home rent free if i got rid of it because 'you cant have a baby just to get housed' - parents kicked me out at 16 and have always managed with a roof over my head no thanks to them.
She always has sly little digs to make but these 2 comments have always stuck with me. I no longer speak to her unsurprisingly.

I was wearing a Breton style top and my Dad said "fat women shouldn't wear horizontal stripes". I was a size 14 so not slim, but my mother, who I shared a body shape with, was about a size 20 and he though she was stunning!

I think I’ve told this story before but DH had an elderly relative who once said to his cousin in a broad Yorkshire accent “ Eee our Lucy you look a right state in that!” It’s now part of our family phrases esp if one of us thinks the other looks particularly nice.

Unfortunately DH once said it to me outside a public changing room...

My top ones...
I am not coming to your wedding I am tired out...
Does this top make me look fat?No dear its your fat that makes you look fat
I love my grandchildren {my kids} they are a credit to me and only like it cos they are mine...
Bitch she is!!!

MrsGrindah that made me laugh imagining your dh saying that to you in public

When pregnant with DD, my mum expressed her concern that I would "look awful" giving birth and quizzed me about whether I was planning to wear make-up during labour. I assured her that how I looked would be the last thing on my mind!

Me on phoning her up from the phone box after I got my GCSE results
'Mum! I got 9 A's and a D!'
Her 'you'll have to resist that D' 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

DD as a toddler was quite quirky, a real livewire and a charmer. DM was obsessed with her (basically ignoring older DS but that's another story). One day she sighed and said to me, you used to be just like that. I wonder why you lost your spark?

Proudly pregnant with her first grandchild we flew 700 miles and spent s fortune to visit.

She ended the visit with the parting, "With an arse the size of yours it is hard to tell which side you are carrying the baby." Witch.

2 weeks ago. "Have you lost weight?" I replied yes, thinking "wow, she never comments on anything positively". Swiftly followed by "you've lost a chin".

My mum's no longer with us, but despite me never being above a size 8 when she was alive, every time I saw her after leaving home, I got a gleeful 'ooh you're fatter than me now!'. She also told me that I should have sex with more men because if I didn't I wouldn't be popular. When I got my A-level results she told me not to get ideas above my station, and when I was at uni she had a go at my brother that I'd embarrassed her because someone in the pub asked her what I was studying and she didn't know.

I know I'm not allowed to say this on MN but I can't say I miss her being in my life. TBF she did tell me frequently that she'd never wanted children and especially not a girl

My DM came home after her boyfriend met me for the first time (I was 17).

“BF said I have a beautiful, voluptuous daughter....

...but he’s full of shit”.

Yeah, she was an abusive dick.

Also grandmother who I hadn’t seen in a couple of years - “oh hello dear. My, your arse got fat didn’t it?”

I remember asking my 'M' was I pretty one day and she said no not pretty but someone will find you attractive, you dont look at the clock when poking the fire...

In front of packed office "Nouser have you got fat?"

I really still hope deep down that maybe she did like/love me though I doubt it.

Not a DM comment but a DF one - every single time- when going out from 16 onwards- Dad what do you think of this dress/outfit - sharp intake of breath- welllllll you'll always be a big girl 🤦🏻‍♀️. This "theme" continued until I was pregnant at 38 leant against a radiator in his house to put my shoes on and he said wooooo careful mommybear you'll break my house- I carried on and left DH pulled him aside and told him off 😂 said I'd only put on 7lbs during pregnancy but regardless of weight gain he should never ever speak to me like that again- he never has since.

My no-longer-with-us MIL had a good repertoire, but two stick out particularly. The first one was when she was telling us she'd had a visit from her friend's granddaughter, who was a few years behind DH at school (DH was a very late surprise last child), and she'd been asking after DH. 'But don't worry, pet, she's nothing like you. She always looks immaculate, takes great care of her appearance, hair and make up freshly done. Nothing like you at all.'

The other time was when I was driving her to a hospital appointment. I'm not sure how we got onto the topic of fertility, but she said something that prompted me to comment that although I'd never had it checked out, I was pretty sure I couldn't have children because I'd never had a pregnancy scare in my life and there were a few times when I should have. 'Well you know what they say, dear. A well-trodden path will never bear fruit. My path was untrodden, that's why I had four.'

She wasn't actually malicious with it, she just had very little in the way of a filter between her brain and her mouth sometimes!

At 16 someone told me I should be a model, 5ft 11 and a size 6, she replied for me that I wasn't pretty enough.

Often tells me I'm too old for hair longer than my chin.

Wow @NoUsernamesILike ! i think ours were cut from the same cloth.
My mum had an acrimonious divorce; my bad teeth, wonky noise, boring voice and bad skin were all from 'that cheating sod' apparently. But she did assure me not to worry because I didn't want a husband because they're all as bad as each other, I just needed to shag around and be popular it seemed.

Playing the game "heads up" at Christmas and the movie to guess was "beauty and the beast". Mother's idea of a good clue was shouting my name and DH's name (DH sensitive about weight). Then when I called her out said I was mean to her.

Definitely @Bored40, it still baffles me how some mothers can be so evil.

A few years ago, I was in a chemist with my mum. She picked up a bottle of shampoo and read the label out aloud to me in the next aisle. "For LIMP and LIFELESS hair - that's you!"
Thanks Mum.

Gosh some of these are awful!
Mine isn't as bad, but she knows how to undermine my confidence. She always has a sly pinch of my hips and love handles when we say hello and have a hug. She's always wanting me to lose weight (being as I am a size 14 ) and will tell me, frequently, how lovely and slim and well-dressed my best friend is.
I passed my Masters degree with a merit, which I managed while having to juggle a part-time job and family commitments. Most fellow students had no such commitments, but even they found it to be a tough course and a fair few dropped out. I was really proud that I'd stuck with the course, let alone get a merit. I told my mother, whose first reaction was to ask well how many people got top marks then?
It's been that way all my life: whatever I do is not good enough. Then she wonders why I don't want to take her out for special day trips or lavish her with extravagant presents like her friends' daughters apparently do.

I could write a book on my mother’s comments. Many of the above have been echoed. 2 prize ones stand out.

Talking about my soon to be SIL to a family friend and me at a wedding “She’s the daughter I should have had”

The day after I’d had twins, walking / wincing down the hospital corridor to go to see them in SCBU, patting me on the stomach and saying “ooh, need to put a bit of work in on that”

I love her, but I don’t always like her.