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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Single mum on holiday. AIBU to impose silence on my children??

89 replies

lovemenorca · 26/08/2019 06:14

I’m on my own with them
We are having a lovely time
But my goodness - the talking. It’s does not stop. And they constantly need my validation - watching them jump in the pool / dive / throw a beach ball etc etc etc

It gets to the end of the day and I’ve been imposing a silent one hour after we get back from the beach. And i take it seriously and brutal!. If they attempt to talk to me, about anything - I cut them off with a shush.

An outsider looking in - it would certainly seem appalling. The child trying to engage with mother, the mother not even allowing them to finish their first word without telling them to shush.

But I just feel it’s never ending otherwise

Anyone else relate and so similar? Or am I taking it a step too far?!

OP posts:
Shooturlocalmethdealer · 26/08/2019 06:16

I can relate OP. Maybe downtime, watching television, ipad, phones for the kids if they are old enough to give you some relaxation time?

youarenotkiddingme · 26/08/2019 06:19

Nope yanbu.

My DN is a chatterbox. My mum does this with him!

Sexnotgender · 26/08/2019 06:19

How old are they?

I understand the need for just a little quiet after the incessant mummy, mummy, mummy...

surlycurly · 26/08/2019 06:23

Another single parent here and I completely understand; it's relentless! I've done similar things a various points. If it's any consolation soon enough they'll be big and not want to talk to you because they'll be in their phone all the time!

thenewaveragebear1983 · 26/08/2019 06:35

I paid my two £1 each to be silent on a 20 minute car journey while we were on holiday because of the endless yapping. It was glorious. Every time we go out in the car now the littlest Ds (3) asks if we can play it again, so I don't think they're too scarred. I think your quiet hour sounds perfect and I imagine the dc probably quite enjoy a bit of peace after a busy day

Doryhunky · 26/08/2019 06:36

Totally with you.

TipseyTorvey · 26/08/2019 06:38

I laughed so much at this. Totally agree and think you're doing the right thing. They need to learn that you need a tiny bit of mental space occasionally. I have never tried telling them one hour of silence but they're a bit younger. However I do go and lock myself upstairs for 30 mins at weekends having put them in front of a movie/tablet. I bought headphones for both of them so they can watch TV on holiday and I can actually read a book. Enjoy your hour!

BalanchineBallet · 26/08/2019 06:41

I’ve not done the hour of silence, but I certainly have said “right, we are going to have a bit of quiet without singing and talking please” when we are on journeys, she’s on her third hour of rambling tales about stuff that happened years ago, and my brain is fried!

MsTSwift · 26/08/2019 06:43

I hosted Chinese students and because one child had been talking the entire sixty strong group (aged 12) had to be silent all day and had to have pencils in their mouths so they couldn’t speak.

8by8 · 26/08/2019 06:43

It is 6.43am and I have already promised my 4 year old a doughnut if he is quiet while I drink my coffee. So no judgment here!

Nearlytherenow123 · 26/08/2019 06:44

My oh my can I relate to this! After 2 days of driving with my 2 in the back of the car incessantly chattering, bickering, needing a wee, finding a new 'funny' noise I told them I needed absolute silence to navigate a particularly tricky road - said road was only maybe 20 minutes of the journey but I may have 'forgotten' to tell them we were through the worst bit just to enjoy the peace for just a bit longer.
I'm so with you and may start implementing a silent period daily from now on, sounds spot on to me

virginpinkmartini · 26/08/2019 06:52

Good idea OP Grin

HennyPennyHorror · 26/08/2019 06:57

I do it! I shut my door and say "Anyone who opens this or speaks to me gets beaten with a French loaf"

They know I'm serious...obv I won't hit them with bread but I WILL shout a bit. I HAVE to have some silence at times.

onplan · 26/08/2019 06:58

I get it, I really do. But I'd go for distraction as opposed to enforced silence. Tv time, reading time?

When you are told not to do something it can be all you want to do and depending on their ages an hour is a long time. Would you want not being allowed to talk as a big part of their memories from holidays?

Tumbleweed101 · 26/08/2019 07:12

I understand and I used to do something similar when mine were little. We had quiet time so I could do some writing. They could have a nap, read or play quietly in their rooms. At that particular stage they often had a nap still even if they started off playing! Was blissful. Doesn’t work now they are older 😂.

8by8 · 26/08/2019 07:13

Even turning on the tv doesn’t work here, we just get a constant running commentary on what’s happening.

It doesn’t do any harm for children to learn that parents have needs to, and sometimes what we need is quiet!

Yestermo · 26/08/2019 07:15

Every day on holiday since they were tiny we have had a quiet hour when they read or sleep. Still do it now as teens. I'm not even single 😁

BehindATractor · 26/08/2019 07:18

Yanbu We have an hour and a half silent siesta on holiday - in the room, snooze or read or play quietly, but I don’t want to hear a peep out of them unless there’s an emergency. I need that time to regroup and recover, and be a calm and patient mum. It does the kids no harm, in fact, I think it’s helped make them keen readers.

Original poster
lovemenorca · 26/08/2019 07:27

Thank thank thank you

It’s relentless. They are so sweet and loving and well behaved.

But the talking and the need for me to acknowledge every. Bloody. Thing. Makes me internally scream.

They’re 9 and 6.5

OP posts:
Barbarafromblackpool · 26/08/2019 07:31

I do this every afternoon with my 4 and 5 year old. Good for everyone.

Barbarafromblackpool · 26/08/2019 07:32

They can sit with me but have to be quiet or they can go upstairs. They don't question it or mind.

NeverTwerkNaked · 26/08/2019 07:34

It's totally understandable!! It's a small bit of the day so you can cope with the rest.
My son is ok, he likes to play by himself a bit but my daughter needs non stop attention and talks incessantly and I get to the point I just feel overwhelmed!

Toneitdown · 26/08/2019 07:35

Yanbu at all, this is totally fine.

BeneathTheMist · 26/08/2019 07:38

The quiet time is probably good for them as well OP, to help them unwind after an exciting day on holiday. Totally get where you are coming from. I agree with others that they should be able to read or do colouring etc rather than just sit. Perhaps this would be a good time to introduce meditation/relaxation Grin and you can all do it together. Not sure if you have internet there, but if you do, there is a really good guided meditation on youtube by Michael Sealey.

billy1966 · 26/08/2019 07:38

OP, you do whatever you need to do to stop your head exploding 😁

I called it "mummy time". Usually when I would sit down with a coffee.

The first person who teaches children consideration of others is usually the mother, so for me it was about teaching them that Mum's needed little breaks and that they needed to understand and respect that.

Otherwise they can eat you alive!

It was also called "our time" if they saw us as a couple sitting down together at certain times. They could tell us something quickly but would then be told this.

It's very important that the realise that you have needs too. Never to early to teach a little empathy to children.