Single mum on holiday. AIBU to impose silence on my children??

[lovemenorca]

I’m on my own with them
We are having a lovely time
But my goodness - the talking. It’s does not stop. And they constantly need my validation - watching them jump in the pool / dive / throw a beach ball etc etc etc

It gets to the end of the day and I’ve been imposing a silent one hour after we get back from the beach. And i take it seriously and brutal!. If they attempt to talk to me, about anything - I cut them off with a shush.

An outsider looking in - it would certainly seem appalling. The child trying to engage with mother, the mother not even allowing them to finish their first word without telling them to shush.

But I just feel it’s never ending otherwise

Anyone else relate and so similar? Or am I taking it a step too far?!

We have silence everyday but we call it quiet time. We can read, draw, write or just chill in our rooms for about an hour. We all enjoy it. The children appreciate not being interupted too.

Oh yes the constant questions and talking at me and wanting my undivided attention wear me down some days.

I'm a chatterbox, worse when I was a child though. My younger sister not do much but at bedtime out of exasperation I used to say "let's play a game. Let's see who can be quiet the longest?" Obviously she would fall asleep.

An hour is not that long really. I remember when I used to put them down for naps when they were much smaller, say around 12 -15 months. Sometimes they would not go to sleep. They would happily talk to themselves or their toys for about 1 hour. I was plesantly surprised!

Yanbu.
Another lone parent here. I understand.

You are teaching them a valuable lesson, they need to understand that everyone needs quiet time. Even my class of 4 year olds had a 5 minute hush break after snack time and again after singing (although only 1 minute) just before they went home.

YANBU. This is one of the thousand reasons why I never want children. I just can’t handle the constant noise and brain sucking chatter. No wonder so many parents seem zoned out. They’re just trying to find a bit of peace in their noisy worlds. 😂

Yabu

I recently bought my 5 year old an overpriced kids magazine with crappy plastic toys to get an hours silence.

At home I let him play on the Xbox because it stops him from talking for a while!

I'm a terrible mother I know

Sorry auto correct changed my post from yanbu

@chocolaterain
I implemented 'quiet time' in lieu of their afternoon nap when they started to look like dropping it. So, around 2 or 3, I can't quite remember. So, after lunch, it was quiet time in their rooms, sometimes they fell asleep, sometimes not. Eventually it was always not, but quiet time continued.

YANBU, op. We used to have quiet time when our two were younger too. Usually in the car!

Oh my God, the 'watch me' do a cartwheel/goal/whatever phase! It was relentless. In the end I lost it and said no I will not watch you do something I have seen you do a thousand times. It my day out too. No performance parenting here. They still seem to love me.

YANBU at all.
I have a step d who doesn`t shut up from the minute she wakes up until bedtime she even talks to herself.
So your not alone on this one.
Oh the joys of being a parent haha.

I might get myself a little 'clicker' type button, just musing. Every 'mummy' gets a click. After say, 500 'mummy's' per day (I've no idea how long that would take, just after breakfast?) it's quiet time thereafter!

At the risk of sounding patronising, you deserve a medal. Mine drove me insane at times and I'm not even a single parent.

I used to tell my DD that if she didn't "save " a few words, she'd have none left to use when she was a grown-up. It worked a treat....for a while anyway.

Can you sit on the balcony —with a gin— and leave them with their iPads on their beds for a bit. I don’t blame you for feeling like this, it’s draining when there’s two of you let alone when you’re on your own.

I always have a 'quiet time' rule in the car!

Believe me when they get to teen years you won't get a word out of them! Just an odd grunt and a slammed door haha

My mum had a brilliant game we played on long car journeys. She'd give everyone in the car a polo or a smartie, and whoever was able to keep it intact in their mouth the longest was the winner.

My brother and I absolutely loved it (we didn't get sweets often so it felt like a treat), and it meant we were quiet as nice thing to keep our sweets intact!

I do this.
I even sent my 14 yo DS to bed last night at 6pm because I needed and evening to myself after two weeks of holiday with them. “But mum it’s only 6pm”.
“I don’t care. Hand your screens over, in to bed, your tired from too make late nights whilst away and I need space”. It was bliss, I watched the entire series of Deep Water and ate a full bar of Cadbury’s dark chocolate!

I am not a single parent but I do have ds aged 7 who has autism and who is currently obsessed with supercars and their engine components. He talks at me about it from the second he wakes up at 5.30am until he goes to bed at 8pm. Constantly. It is just so draining. But he’s very enthusiastic and excited ....!

Love it, we do this in the car after 30 mins plus of talking, questions, radio " I like this one, turn it up", they get sillier sometimes tho, bouncing around, trying sign language, silent giggling! When you've had a full day out it can be a bit much. Phone, tablet, book works sometimes, my daughter also played with some clay for ages in the car the other day, I still had to look at what she'd made, and her brother stole it a few times and wrecked it. Then when we get home they go and chill in their rooms, I like my quiet time

Oh OP, poor you! I completely understand. I don’t do the silence thing but I do say ‘I’m nit watching your every move’ or ‘play amongst yourselves, I’m reading/relaxing for half an hour’ constantly. It’s good for kids to become more self sufficient and not seek continual validation. Yanbu. Well done for carving yourself out some head space.

I get it OP! I think distraction is good, or anything that can get them to naturally be quiet like reading or an ipad game - but I also think it's OK to explain you need quiet time yourself and get them to understand that, just as they need your attention a lot of the time, there are things you need.

I'm a single mum, mine are a bit older and do understand but they still find it hard. Me: "I need to sit down with a coffee and magazine for 20 minutes now, please can no one talk to me unless it's an emergemcy, I just need some quiet."
Kids: "OK!"

"Mum..."
:o